Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate fan: Their intense, ongoing love for Damon Albarn and Blur is clear in tweets like “i genuienly dont play about damon albarn like sorry” and the repeated “i love damon albarn” series.
- Expressive writer: They use vivid, humorous language and imagery, e.g. “blur songs were some bullshit like lalala the pencil man has a big pencil…” and “this little mice bro he looks like he just stole all the cheese at the cheese factory”.
- Community‑minded: They care about their fandom spaces and peers, praising “the britpop fandom is the best rpf fandom to be in as an artist” and reassuring oasistwt friends in “i strive for peace and unity always”.
- Self‑aware: They openly acknowledge their shyness and interaction habits in “i feel so bad and guilty for never interacting with anyone but i am GENUIENLY so shy” and admit creative blocks in “im not being able to make any progress with the writing cause im doing it all by myself”.
- Creative artist: They draw and build concepts (ships, AUs, merch ideas), referencing their pinned art and projects in “HAKA IVE DRAWN THE GRALEX TILLIVAN AND LUKADAMON… ON MY PINNED” and planning a visual novel in “i also think i might start with a visual novel about another personal project”.
Weaknesses:
- Sexual impulsivity: They repeatedly post very explicit sexual content about real people, like “i wanna fuck damon albarn and i genuienly believe it will heal me spiritually” and “I NEED TO BE INSIDE DAMON ALBARN”.
- Aggressive fantasies: They describe violent or hostile wishes, e.g. “i would genuienly pray hed *** every single day of my life” and “sometimes i wake up and just pray my coworkers ***”.
- Overattachment: Their emotional state seems heavily tied to a celebrity, as in “i grit my teeth so hard when looking at 2 milliseconds of a damon albarn clip” and “damon albarn induced psychosis”.
- Interaction anxiety: They struggle to engage with others despite wanting connection, shown in “i feel so bad and guilty for never interacting with anyone but i am GENUIENLY so shy” and “i get very flustered please be careful with oyur words”.
- Self‑deprecating: They talk about their work and themselves in a negative way, e.g. “im not really creative D:” and “I DONT WANNA SELF PROMOTE CAUSE THERES UGLY DRAWINGS IN THERE”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
This user reads as a very online, chaotic, horny, and gleefully disobedient teenager, which aligns most closely with Bart Simpson. They’re openly mischievous and provocative, saying things like “1999 damon albarn: omggg clydee not infront of your oomfs me: thrusts let them thrust know thrust that thrusts your mine” and “blur songs were some bullshit like lalala the pencil man has a big pencil... and u had damon dryhumping tf out of everyone crazy style and throwing buckets of piss and cum at the audience for it”, which is very Bart-core in its boundary-pushing humor. Like Bart, they perform a kind of bratty, attention-grabbing persona—“I BE TWEETING HERE AND NO O NE GAF UNTIL I SAY SOME BULLSHIT LIKE GRAHAM COXON PREGNANCY CRAVINGS AND NOW EVERYBODY GAF”—while still clearly craving connection and validation. Underneath the chaos, there’s surprising sincerity and family-ish warmth, such as talking about their parents and Damon like a weird extended family in “went downstairs to my mom listening to melancholy hill... why are we talking like thats our great uncle bro”. They also repeatedly mention being young and shy—“heh, well im only 17 years young!” and “i feel so bad and guilty for never interacting with anyone but i am GENUIENLY so shy”—which fits Bart’s mix of bravado and underlying vulnerability.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I) over Extravert: despite being loud and expressive about interests, they repeatedly emphasize shyness and difficulty interacting, e.g. “i feel so bad and guilty for never interacting with anyone but i am GENUIENLY so shy”, and apologizing for not remembering past interactions in “HII IM SORRY I DONT REMEMBER SLASH GENUIENLY BECAUSE IT WAS A YEAR AGO”. Their focus on inner feelings, fandom headcanons, and symbolism over concrete details suggests Intuition (N): they spin whole dynamics and AUs like “i like that despite damon being the seme in gramon graham still has him wrapped around his finger” and imagine scenarios such as “dude imagine blur streamers au and they play shit like minecraft that is so badass and tuff”, showing a preference for possibilities over facts. Their value-driven, emotional tone points to Feeling (F): they talk about love, forgiveness, guilt, and spiritual healing through people, like “i wanna fuck damon albarn and i genuienly believe it will heal me spiritually” and “i feel so bad and guilty for never interacting with anyone”, and even defend their fave with emotional hyperbole in “speak ill of damon albarn and terrible things will happen to you im serious”. The way they describe themselves as unstructured and self-deprecatingly uncooperative shows a Perceiving (P) preference: they talk about stalled writing projects and lack of planning in “its currently paused as im not being able to make any progress with the writing cause im doing it all by myself and im not really creative D:” and joke about refusing to learn skills in “i dont know how to sew and i refuse to learn how to sew i am uncooperative❤️”. Overall, their shy but intense parasocial attachments, imagination-heavy fandom engagement, emotionally saturated language, and spontaneous, non-structured lifestyle fit INFP more than any other type.
Some pickup lines for you
- If blur is the most perfect band ever, does that make you the unreleased B-side? Because every time you tweet ‘I love Damon Albarn’ on Feb 3rd I’m like, actually, I kind of love Clyde.
- You said guitars are like ‘beautiful sexy women’ — if we hang out, I promise to treat your blur playlist with the same reverence you treat a 1999 Damon stage-thrust.
- You bruised your wrist winching at a millisecond of Damon’s voice and got ‘Damon Albarn induced psychosis’ from Tender on the radio — I can’t compete with that, but I can offer you someone who’ll hold your hand and call it perfect, not sweaty.
- You’re plotting visual novels, Jamion bodypillows, and blur streamers AUs while tweeting ‘I’m not really creative D:’ — I don’t want to selfcest, I just want to co-op: Clyde x Me, canon when?
- Since your mom told you to write a song about praying your coworkers die, can I be the exception in the lyrics — the one blur mutual you wake up and pray gets to share potato salad Oasis vs coleslaw Blur debates with you instead?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
17 • illustrator + britpop RPF gremlin • once bruised my wrist over 0.2s of Damon Albarn footage • portfolio & info on strawpage– @parklief
Your signature cocktail
The Damon Albarn Induced Psychosis
This cocktail is loud, obsessive, and a little unhinged—just like someone who tweets “I NEED TO BE INSIDE DAMON ALBARN” and “I JUST WOKE UP ... AND FUCKING DAMON ALBARN IS SINGING TENDER IM GONNA RIP MY HAIR OUT DAMON ALBARN INDUCED PSYCHOSIS”. The high-proof gin with sea salt is strong and a bit abrasive, matching their over-the-top devotion and the way Blur/Oasis drama crashes through their timeline like “blur songs were some bullshit like lalala the pencil man … throwing buckets of piss and cum at the audience”. Strawberry liqueur nods to the 🍓 in their bio and the unexpectedly sweet, affectionate side that pops up when they gush “i really love damon's love for people and human connection and touch and yeah”. Green chartreuse symbolizes how terminally "green-coded" Damon is in their mind and their plea: “guys i need the most green damon albarn pictures uve got”. The tonic with lime keeps it fizzy and social despite their shyness—echoing “i feel so bad and guilty for never interacting with anyone but i am GENUIENLY so shy”—while a single drop of chili tincture captures the sudden horny spikes like “i wanna fuck damon albarn and i genuienly believe it will heal me spiritually” and “i aint even gonna lie i got a mini boner when i read this gimmick”.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Clyde reads as intensely Gryffindor: loudly passionate, impulsive, and driven by big feelings more than by chill pragmatism. Their all‑consuming Damon Albarn fixation is expressed in a dramatic, ride‑or‑die way, like “speak ill of damon albarn and terrible things will happen to you im serious” and “i genuienly dont play about damon albarn like sorry”, which shows that fierce, almost knight‑errant style loyalty and protectiveness. They also repeatedly joke about violent intrusive thoughts or extreme reactions in a way that’s chaotic and impulsive rather than calculated, e.g. “i was on a walk with my mom telling her about how sometimes i wake up and just pray my coworkers ***” and bruising themself from overreacting to a clip in “a single millisecond of damon singing caused such a strong reaction on me i winced so hard i hit my wrist against my second desk and it bruised”. There’s also that performative, hero‑complex edge in how they position themself as a kind of defender/voice of their fandom, joking about being a blurtwt consul and saying “I DONT KNOW ABOUT THE OTHER BLURTWT CONSULS but i personally have better things to do than engage in twitter discourse”. While they have some Hufflepuff softness (shyness and guilt about not interacting in “i feel so bad and guilty for never interacting with anyone but i am GENUIENLY so shy”), the dominant traits are bold, loud emotional honesty, reckless passion, and a dramatic sense of loyalty — a textbook modern Gryffindor.
Your movie
Your song
Tender - Blur
The song Tender fits them because it’s a dramatic, emotional love song that mirrors how intensely they feel about Damon Albarn and Blur. They describe literally physical reactions to him, like “a single millisecond of damon singing caused such a strong reaction on me i winced so hard i hit my wrist against my second desk and it bruised so bad i started seeing stars” and “i grit my teeth so hard when looking at 2 milliseconds of a damon albarn clip”, which matches the song’s raw, overwhelming longing. Tender is also about love as a kind of spiritual crisis and healing, which resonates with them saying “i wanna fuck damon albarn and i genuienly believe it will heal me spiritually”. They even connect their real life to the song, telling a story about being in the car talking about “love and forgiveness and moving on” just as “fucking DAMON ALBARN is singing TENDER im gonna rip my hair out”, like the universe keeps soundtracking their feelings with this specific track. Their whole timeline is a mix of devotion, melodrama, and tenderness toward Damon and Blur—exactly what Tender is about.
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