Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares feelings like being in love and vulnerability, e.g. “creo q estoy enamorado” and “tiene mucho q no lloraba cn mi papá ajajakakak”.
- Affectionate friend: Expresses care and love for others, as with “eve t amo mucho” and “GRACIAS AMIGO TEA POR TANTO @shiro98217”.
- Passionate fan: Shows strong enthusiasm for bands and artists, e.g. “CANDELABRO 100K VAMOOOOOS”, “LOS AMO HESSE KASSEL”, and excitement about concerts.
- Humorously self-aware: Uses self-deprecating humor to cope and connect, as in “SOY UN HOMBRE TAN MODERNO QUE LO APRENDE TODO” and “YO NO HAGO QUEERBAITING YO HAGO STRAIGHTBAITING”.
- Socially engaged: Frequently seeks connection and plans, like “q ganas d hablar cn oomf se ve q es un gran cabron” and asking for plans in multiple tweets.
Weaknesses:
- Alcohol dependence: Repeatedly references problematic drinking, e.g. “aceptaré q soy alcohólico”, “ya debo dejar el alcohol”, and “NO VUELVO A TOMAR”.
- Harsh self-criticism: Uses very negative language about himself, like “soy un idiota y debería morir” and calling himself “fracasado” in “eres alcohólico y fracasado”.
- Impulsive behavior: Acknowledges acting without thinking in “ya no debo ser tan impulsivo mm”, echoed by regretful reactions like “VALIÓ VERGA”.
- Body insecurity: Shows dissatisfaction with appearance, e.g. “la vida desde q acepté q soy chopped y q nunca podré cambiarlo” and “pq no puedo verme cmo matias candia”.
- Negative worldview: Expresses strong pessimism about environment and self, such as “mexico siempre fue mierda la neta 💯” and “detesto ver de lejos, al igual que estar acá”.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
They read like a chaotic, self-deprecating disaster with a lot of heart, which is very Homer Simpson coded. There’s reckless humor about alcohol and failure — things like “cmo cuando eres alcohólico y fracasado y todos se están cansando d ti pero al menos vas a ver a una d tus bandas favoritas” and “aceptaré q soy alcohólico” echo Homer’s constant screwups and reliance on booze. At the same time, they’re openly emotional and dramatic, crying with their dad and oscillating between loving life and hating everything, like in “tiene mucho q no lloraba cn mi papá ajajakakak” and “odio cdmx neta”. They also hype their favorite bands and people with a kind of over-the-top devotion that feels very Homer-fanboy, as in “gracias candelabro por tanto” and “LOS AMO HESSE KASSEL”. Overall, messy, impulsive, loving, and constantly saying they’ll change but never quite doing it is peak Homer energy.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extrovert: they frequently seek social interaction and shared experiences, e.g. wanting to talk to oomf in “q ganas d hablar cn oomf se ve q es un gran cabron”, complaining when no one can go out in “pq nadie puede salir mañana q pedo”, and craving plans in “nadie saca plan para mañana m”. Their style is highly emotional, metaphorical, and future/possibility-focused, suggesting Intuition over Sensing, as in “son años de deseo, carne y voluntad” and self-deprecating identity takes like “la vida desde q acepté q soy chopped y q nunca podré cambiarlo”. They clearly prioritize feelings and interpersonal dynamics over logic, pointing to Feeling: they tweet openly about love and attachment in “creo q estoy enamorado” and “eve t amo mucho”, and harshly judge themselves emotionally in “soy un idiota y debería morir”. Finally, they appear spontaneous and unstructured, aligning with Perceiving: they impulsively want more piercings in “m quiero hacer el bridge ommm” and “m quiero perforar si xfa”, and their on‑again/off‑again drinking resolutions like “NO VUELVO A TOMAR” versus “necesito tomar yayayayaya” show a flexible, non‑structured lifestyle. Together, this mix of expressive sociability, emotional intensity, identity exploration, and impulsive behavior aligns best with ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You: “I’ll stop drinking.” Also you: *‘NO VUELVO A TOMAR’* every week. How about we relapse only into something sano and tragic, like falling for each other at a Candelabro show?
- You’re out here tweeting “tantas mujeres lindas y yo no puedo enamorarme pq soy joto” and “busco novia soy medio joto hola” — I volunteer as your gender-confusing love interest, purely for research purposes.
- You accepted you’re “chopped” and yet you’re still stressing about your hair like “M DEJARON BN CULERO EL CABELLO M VOY A MATAR” — let me be the delulu friend who tells you you look hot and then proves it on a date.
- You say “creo q estoy enamorado” and then “en 12 días NO veo a mcr 😢”. If your love language is emo bands and mild suffering, I promise I can give you both, starting with suffering from how hard I’m crushing on you.
- You: “no sé ligar q pedo.” Also you: “oye we dime q pasa si t invito por unos tacos d birria.” What happens is: I say yes, we flirt, you call yourself un idiota, and I prove you wrong over salsa and bad decisions.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Professional overthinker from CDMX. Once lost a piercing ball at a concert and still calls it character development. Candelabro, MCR & Robert Pattinson fan.– @pendejocronico
Your signature cocktail
Yearner on the Rocks
Mezcal with a chili rim stands in for their self-proclaimed alcoholic chaos and dramatic highs, echoing posts like “aceptaré q soy alcohólico” and “ya debo dejar el alcohol”. Blackberry liqueur adds dark sweetness for all the yearning, love brain, and band obsessions, from “creo q estoy enamorado” to screaming about Candelabro in “CANDELABRO 100K VAMOOOOOS”. Lime juice is the sharp, acidic hit that matches their dramatic self-dragging in “soy un idiota y debería morir” and the crisis of “M DEJARON BN CULERO EL CABELLO M VOY A MATAR”. Sparkling water lightens everything, like the sudden bursts of joy in “amo mi vida” and getting a Renatto saludo in “M CONSIGUIERON UN SALUDO DEL RENATTO”. A dash of saline ties it together with a low-key salty aftertaste that matches lines like “mexico siempre fue mierda la neta 💯” and “odio cdmx neta”, because even when it’s sweet, it’s still a little bitter and messy—just like them, a true yearner on the rocks.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Oliver reads as strongly Gryffindor: impulsive, dramatic, and constantly throwing himself into intense experiences without much self‑protection. He openly admits to reckless behavior like drinking and its consequences, yet keeps charging back in, e.g. “NO VUELVO A TOMAR” followed not long after by “esto d no tomar si m anda pegando” and earlier cravings like “necesito tomar yayayayaya”. His hyperbolic self‑expression and willingness to say the raw, ugly parts out loud — “soy un idiota y debería morir”, “M DEJARON BN CULERO EL CABELLO M VOY A MATAR” — speak to Gryffindor’s emotional boldness more than Slytherin self‑control. He repeatedly throws himself into love and crushes with zero chill, like “creo q estoy enamorado” and his yearning for ‘oomf’ in “q ganas d hablar cn oomf se ve q es un gran cabron”, which fits Gryffindor’s headlong romanticism. Finally, his willingness to loudly complain about his country or city — “mexico siempre fue mierda la neta 💯”, “odio cdmx neta” — shows a confrontational streak that is more about raw, brash honesty than calculated Slytherin strategy or Ravenclaw detachment.
Your movie
Your song
I’m Not Okay (I Promise) - My Chemical Romance
A song that fits them best is I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance. They openly oscillate between self-deprecating humor and genuine emotional distress, like when they say “soy un idiota y debería morir” and “dos años perdidos ok”, which mirrors the song’s melodramatic but earnest angst. Their relationship with alcohol and impulsivity—“aceptaré q soy alcohólico” and “ya no debo ser tan impulsivo mm”—also fits the track’s chaotic, self-destructive energy. They’re literally a fan of MCR, as seen in “en 12 días NO veo a mcr 😢”, so the choice resonates with their actual tastes. At the same time, their yearning and romantic confusion—“creo q estoy enamorado” and “no sé ligar q pedo”—align with the song’s mix of vulnerability, frustration, and dramatic confession. Overall, the track captures their emo humor, messy love life, and performative yet sincere suffering.
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