
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Like Jeff Albertson, @perfectcitrine is a cynical, pedantic critic who obsessively consumes niche media and offers "objectively correct" takes on pop culture. They frequently complain about technology and gaming mechanics, much like the store owner's disdain for poor continuity, seen when they rail against “shitty new OS release” or “immersion breaking” game design. Their social life revolves around digital spaces and specific fandoms, yet they maintain an air of intellectual superiority, stating, “Fuck you, here's my pure, unfiltered dogshit opinion”. Whether they are analyzing The Godfather or complaining about their “fucking cretin” roommate, they embody the ultimate “Worst. Episode. Ever.” energy.

Your MBTI personality Type
@perfectcitrine demonstrates strong Introversion and Intuition through solitary, abstract musings on “attaining immortality” and his disdain for the “meaningless” nature of social media mutuals. His Thinking preference is evident in his blunt, often cynical critiques, such as calling his roommate a “fucking cretin” or analyzing the “objectively correct” way to design game environments. Finally, his Perceiving nature shows in his erratic habits, like “making myself a single boiled egg at 1am” and his frequent struggle with “early onset dementia” regarding basic responsibilities. This combination of analytical detachment and spontaneous, late-night philosophizing is quintessential of the INTP type.

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Your new Twitter bio
Cinephile and competitive gamer with a penchant for Chinese history. Once saved myself from a house fire thanks to divine intervention and a forgotten stove.– @perfectcitrine

Your signature cocktail
This experimental concoction is served in a 'purgatorio' chilled glass to honor a user who claims “I no longer believe in free will” and “Afternoon nap is more addicting than cigarettes”. The Kahlua and Baileys represent how “Kahlua and Baileys are like Yin and Yang”, while the smoky scotch mimics the 'sharting' smell of the iOS updates they hate. It is topped with a boiled egg to commemorate the peak of culinary desperation: “Making myself a single boiled egg at 1am”. Finally, the high salt content ensures it feels as shitty as losing at League of Legends, because “the lion does not concern itself with doomed teammates”.

Your Hogwarts House
The user displays a calculated sense of self-preservation and high ambition, explicitly stating that “the ultimate purpose of life is to attain immortality” to avoid fading into obscurity. This desire for greatness is paired with a pragmatic, often ruthless outlook on social hierarchies and competition, evidenced by their claim that “the lion does not concern itself with doomed teammates” during gaming. They value resourcefulness and efficiency, whether it is avoiding costs by “reading pdfs on it for free” or their cynical view on social dynamics, such as noting that “Instagram friends are so meaningless”. Ultimately, their focus on personal legacy and a “win-at-all-costs” mentality aligns perfectly with the cunning nature of a Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
This song perfectly encapsulates @perfectcitrine’s combination of existential dread, social alienation, and a yearning for a 'special' status. They explicitly grapple with feelings of inadequacy, tweeting “I need to get really good at something. I'm talented at exactly nothing and I think it's ruining my life.” while simultaneously desiring a legacy like Einstein's because they “don't want my name to fade into obscurity like billions of others.”. Their self-deprecating humor and admitted social friction—such as when they confess “Every time I get high I realize I’m kind of a terrible person.”—mirrors the song's themes of self-loathing and not belonging. Living in a self-described “purgatorio” and lamenting being “blocked... on Letterboxd”, they embody the modern, terminally online 'creep' who feels out of place in a world they constantly critique.

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perfectcitrine
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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