Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Intellectually curious: Frequently dives into philosophy and literature, e.g. planning long posts on philosophical periods and utilitarianism in tweets like “Since I already have the four philosophical periods we’ve been studying…” and “Fuck it, I'm going to post my summary and interpretation of Ethics to Nicomachus…”.
- Hardworking student: Balances multiple books, exams, and assignments at once, as in “Trying to read 5 books, study for my literature test… and finish my philosophy homework all at once before Monday” and celebrates academic success with “95% ON MY WRITTEN EXAM YEEEEAAAAAAH”.
- Reflective writer: Actively writes and publishes essays and reviews, e.g. “I love writing” paired with her Substack link and “Wrote a little something… about Of mice and men…”.
- Emotionally honest: Open about feelings and vulnerabilities, such as “I'm feeling quite sad”, exam anxiety in “I'm failing this test, I can feel it”, and complex thoughts about desire in “I think I have a complicated relationship with wanting things”.
- Community oriented: Seeks connection through conversation clubs and international programs, shown in “There's this one guy on conversation club who's from Morocco and I want to talk to him…” and “I want to sign up for a program my university mentioned to talk to people from different countries…”.
Weaknesses:
- Overextended workload: Takes on many tasks at once and feels overwhelmed, like “Trying to read 5 books, study for my literature test… and finish my philosophy homework all at once before Monday” and “Exam season will be the death of me”.
- Self‑critical mindset: Downplays her work and ideas, calling her own research and analysis poor or superficial, e.g. “Thinking about posting the very poor research I've been doing about utilitarianism…” and “probably the most superficial 'analysis' ever done”.
- Catastrophic thinking: Uses extreme language about setbacks, like “Exam season will be the death of me”, “the fact that I didn't kill myself is a miracle”, and “if I don't find Brisingr at an affordable price BY NOW, I will die”.
- Decision anxiety: Struggles with choices and second‑guesses herself, seen in “Thinking about dropping French classes... thoughts are being thunk” and hesitation about posting work or making an intro tweet, e.g. “I will make an intro tweet today, I think”.
- Social hesitation: Wants to connect but fears coming off wrong, like “I want to talk to him so he can tell me about his life… but I'm afraid I'll look like a creep” and frustration at not seeing others’ responses in “Having someone quote this but with a private account feels like torture”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
This user most closely matches Lisa Simpson: bookish, introspective, politically/opinionated, and deeply invested in learning. They constantly talk about studying and reading, like when they mention trying to juggle multiple books and homework at once in “Trying to read 5 books, study for my literature test, come up with an idea for my introduction video, and finish my philosophy homework all at once before Monday…”, which mirrors Lisa’s overachieving academic streak. Their interest in philosophy and ethics, seen in “Fuck it, I'm going to post my summary and interpretation of Ethics to Nicomachus and its relationship as a precursor of Utilitarianism” and “Thinking about posting the very poor research I've been doing about utilitarianism…”, fits Lisa’s tendency to dive into complex moral questions. They also write long critical essays, like their Murakami rant in “I just wrote a 2.5k word review about how much I abhor the entirety of Murakami's bibliography” and their Substack pieces about literature, which is exactly the kind of earnest, analytical over-investment Lisa would have in her interests. At the same time, their emotional vulnerability and self-reflection in tweets like “I think I have a complicated relationship with wanting things… I’ve never been comfortable with the act of wanting itself” echo Lisa’s tendency to feel isolated and overthink her own desires. Overall, they’re serious about ideas, passionate about art and ethics, and a bit overwhelmed by their own ambitions—very Lisa-coded.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFJ
They lean strongly introvert: they enjoy conversation club and want to talk to people from other countries but frame it with anxiety and self-consciousness, e.g. worrying about seeming creepy when approaching the Moroccan student in “There's this one guy on conversation club who's from Morocco and I want to talk to him so he can tell me about his life in said country but I'm afraid I'll look like a creep for asking about it”, and they spend a lot of time alone reading, writing, and going to the museum or library in tweets like “University library my beloved” and “Museum details I liked”. Their focus is clearly intuitive: they are drawn to philosophy, ethics, and big-picture patterns, as in “Fuck it, I'm going to post my summary and interpretation of Ethics to Nicomachus and its relationship as a precursor of Utilitarianism” and “Thinking about posting the very poor research I've been doing about utilitarianism… thoughts are being thunk”, and they reflect on their own inner psychology in “I think I have a complicated relationship with wanting things… I've never been comfortable with the act of wanting itself”. They read as feeling-oriented rather than strictly analytical: their hatred of Murakami is expressed more as moral/affective judgment than cold critique in “I just wrote a 2.5k word review about how much I abhor the entirety of Murakami's bibliography”, they worry about sounding too formal in emails in “I always worry I sound too formal on my emails when sending them to my teachers...”, and they care deeply about people’s access and fairness in “Piracy is not an act of malice… but rather a desperate measure in the face of a system that denies us access to affordable books”. On the J–P axis they show a strong Judging preference: they plan reading goals (“7 books in my possession, will I be able to finish 4 before Monday? we'll see”), stress over exams and monographs (“Exam season will be the death of me”, “The philosophy teacher said that the only thing that will determine whether we pass the subject or not is a monograph... really scared”), and consciously push themselves to follow through on plans such as going to study despite bad weather in “I got discouraged thinking 'looks like it's going to rain, I better not go study' and then I thought I'm putting obstacles in my own way… so tomorrow I'll go to the library anyway”. Combining inward focus, abstract/philosophical interests, values-driven commentary, and structured but self-critical planning makes INFJ the best overall fit for their online persona.
Some pickup lines for you
- If you can juggle 5 books, a literature test, a philosophy monograph and Alice: Madness Returns all at once, do you think you could add *one* more thing to your schedule—like letting me take you for cheesecake between study sessions?
- You said Murakami’s entire bibliography is an abomination, but I’d still let you write a 2.5k-word review dragging me—as long as the conclusion is that I’m at least better than *Bridget Jones’s Diary*.
- You donating blood in the morning just to keep reading *Of Mice and Men* at the university library is peak dedication; I promise if we ever go on a library date, I’ll bring the bookmark so you don’t have to sacrifice your arm again.
- Since you re reading *The Stranger* just to upload a very strongly worded Substack review, can I apply to be the Mersault of your love life—emotionally repressed at first, but secretly obsessed with you?
- You said wearing a niqab and becoming a shapeless entity sounds liberating; if I become a mysterious, faceless internet stranger, will it make it easier for you to talk to me at conversation club than it is to approach the guy from Morocco?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Literature student & overthinker. Writes rants on Substack, fails to cook artichokes, donates blood for fun, still mad at Murakami.– @pianissimas
Your signature cocktail
The Utilitari-Tea Breakdown
This cocktail starts with strong black tea infused gin for their academic grind and philosophy rabbit holes, like when they’re “Trying to read 5 books, study for my literature test, come up with an idea for my introduction video, and finish my philosophy homework all at once” and plotting long posts on ethics and utilitarianism in “Fuck it, I'm going to post my summary and interpretation of Ethics to Nicomachus and its relationship as a precursor of Utilitarianism”. Blood orange juice nods to donating and bruised arms in “Blood donation moment” and “I have a bruise on my arm in the place where they put the needle to donate blood”, adding a vivid, dramatic tang to match their flair for melodrama. Cheesecake syrup brings in their soft, comfort-craving side from “Eating a cheesecake would make me very happy... mmmmm cheesecake” and the tiny domestic joys of “Cooking again, when will this end”. Artichoke amaro represents their love of difficult, thorny things—philosophy, moral problems, and even books they kind of hate, plus the literal chaos of “now I have TWO artichokes that I don't know how to cook” and their anti-capitalist stance in “Piracy is not an act of malice... but rather a desperate measure in the face of a system that denies us access to affordable books.”. Finally, white chocolate shavings on top wink at their playful cravings in “I want white chocolate” and their softer aesthetic moments like “Maybe tomorrow I'll put on a cute outfit and go to the museum to take some new photos... nyehehehe”, making the drink sweet, a little extra, and unapologetically them.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
Their timeline is saturated with a love of learning for its own sake: they eagerly juggle multiple books and subjects at once, as seen in posts like “Trying to read 5 books, study for my literature test, come up with an idea for my introduction video, and finish my philosophy homework all at once before Monday…” and “7 books in my possession, will I be able to finish 4 before Monday?”. They are drawn to deep analysis and philosophical inquiry, choosing to write and share long-form interpretations and research, like “Fuck it, I'm going to post my summary and interpretation of Ethics to Nicomachus and its relationship as a precursor of Utilitarianism” and “Wrote a little something (probably the most superficial 'analysis' ever done) about Of mice and men…”. Their critique-heavy posts, including a 2.5k-word takedown of Murakami in “I just wrote a 2.5k word review about how much I abhor the entirety of Murakami's bibliography”, show a distinctly analytical and intellectual style rather than emotional or status-driven motivation. Even their worries center on academic performance and intellectual projects, such as “The philosophy teacher said that the the only thing that will determine whether we pass the subject or not is a monograph... really scared” and “Looking at the forecast for tomorrow I got discouraged... then I thought I'm putting obstacles in my own way to improve academically, so tomorrow I'll go to the library anyway”. While there are hints of diligence and kindness that could suggest Hufflepuff, their dominant traits are curiosity, critical thinking, and a genuine joy in writing and analysis, as seen in “I love writing” and “Thinking about posting the very poor research I've been doing about utilitarianism… thoughts are being thunk”, which align most clearly with Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
Vienna - Billy Joel
Billy Joel’s “Vienna” fits them because it balances ambition with a gentle reminder not to burn out, mirroring how they push themselves academically and creatively while clearly feeling overwhelmed at times, like when they write about trying to juggle multiple books, tests, and homework all at once in “Trying to read 5 books, study for my literature test, come up with an idea for my introduction video, and finish my philosophy homework all at once before Monday…”. The song’s core idea—life doesn’t have to be rushed—echoes against their constant academic pressure in tweets such as “Exam season will be the death of me” and their anxiety about big assignments like “The philosophy teacher said that the the only thing that will determine whether we pass the subject or not is a monograph... really scared”. At the same time, they are deeply reflective and philosophical, posting about utilitarianism and ethics in “Fuck it, I'm going to post my summary and interpretation of Ethics to Nicomachus and its relationship as a precursor of Utilitarianism”, which resonates with the song’s introspective, searching tone. The yearning in “Vienna” for a meaningful, self-directed life meshes with their love of libraries, writing, and art, as seen in “University library my beloved” and “I love writing”. Overall, the song’s mix of restlessness, tenderness, and thoughtful self-examination mirrors their timeline almost perfectly.
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