pikappaalpha422
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Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Fraternal Loyalty: His frequent mentions of his fraternity brothers and drinking in their honor, as in 'Thankful for these boys today', shows a strong bond with his friends.
- Blunt Honesty: His unfiltered opinions, like 'If you tell your waiter how you want your burger cooked, you suck', demonstrate a willingness to speak his mind.
- Nostalgic Appreciation: His excitement about playing 'OG Fort' on his new Xbox reveals a fondness for the past.
- Resourceful: His discovery of using back pockets to double inventory space shows he is good at finding clever solutions to everyday problems.
- Enjoys camaraderie: His anecdote about his colleague saying “leave it, I like some danger in my life” hell yea. Live on the edge buddy', shows he likes to share moments with his colleagues.
Weaknesses:
- Offensive Humor: His tweets about Italians ('New slur for Italians just dropped. #guidos') and Asians ('Buddy cleared this burger in sub 6 minutes, pretty impressive for an Asian. #Meatwad') can be insensitive and hurtful.
- Questionable Ethics: His admission that he 'scammed a stripper last night' raises concerns about his moral compass.
- Reckless Tendencies: His joke about roofying his friends ('Taking a page out of the hangover this weekend. (I’m gonna Roofy my friends)') suggests a disregard for their safety.
- Social Avoidance: His 'New ability unlocked to avoid small talk. “Im blacked out” works 100% of the time' indicates a reluctance to engage in meaningful conversations.
- Heavy Drinking: His bio mentioning 'Drunk Uber Driver' and frequent references to alcohol suggest he may have a problem with alcohol consumption.
Your Simpsons character
Barney Gumble
Captain Philips II is similar to Barney Gumble, the perpetually drunk friend of Homer Simpson. Both enjoy drinking excessively, with Captain Philips II mentioning 'Drinking a gold 4loko' and Barney being a regular at Moe's Tavern. Both are also somewhat crude and unrefined, with Captain Philips II making potentially offensive jokes and Barney often engaging in boorish behavior. Like Barney, Captain Philips II seems to value his friendships, as evidenced by his shoutout to his fraternity brothers. Both characters seem to have a lack of ambition beyond their immediate pleasures.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTP
Captain Philips II seems to embody the ESTP (Extroverted, Sensing, Thinking, Perceiving) personality type. His bio mentioning 'Drunk Uber Driver' suggests a thrill-seeking and spontaneous nature, typical of ESTPs. His tweets often focus on concrete experiences and immediate pleasures, aligning with the 'Sensing' preference. His blunt and unfiltered opinions, such as 'If you tell your waiter how you want your burger cooked, you suck', reflect a 'Thinking' approach to decision-making. His adaptable and opportunistic nature is evident in his 'scammed a stripper last night' tweet, showcasing the 'Perceiving' trait.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Busch Light? Because I want to order you like a man.
- Is your name Daisy Dukes? Because Jarvis just set a course for you.
- Are you a 4Loko? Because I'm thinking about you and my boys right now.
- Are you a PE Teacher? Because I'm ready to play some dodgeball with you.
- Are you a flight attendant? Because you just got +5 hot points in my book.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Vols enthusiast | Navigating autism with beer and questionable jokes | Part-time Uber driver, full-time chaos agent | Just trying to unlock life's greatest side quest | Views are my own (and probably offensive)– @pikappaalpha422
Your signature cocktail
The Frat House Fallout
The 'Frat House Fallout' cocktail embodies Captain Philips II's chaotic and fratty spirit. The Busch Light represents his preference for cheap beer, as expressed in his 'Grow up and order a Busch light like a man' tweet. The vodka and Red Bull add a jolt of energy, reflecting his 'Drunk Uber Driver' persona. The splash of 4Loko provides a touch of reckless abandon. The gummy bears add a childish element, suggesting a playful side beneath his crude exterior. It's a drink that's both potent and unapologetically trashy.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Given Captain Philips II's sometimes questionable ethics and dark humor, he would likely be sorted into Slytherin. His 'scammed a stripper last night' tweet suggests a cunning and self-serving attitude, traits often associated with Slytherin. His ambition to be a 'PE Teacher, peewee football coach, bartender at a run down tavern on the weekend' reflects a desire for power and influence, even on a small scale. While he may have some redeeming qualities, his Slytherin tendencies seem to outweigh the virtues of other houses. 'Taking a page out of the hangover this weekend. (I’m gonna Roofy my friends)' is not a Gryffindor behavior.
Your movie
Your song
Friends in Low Places - Garth Brooks
This song's themes of drunken camaraderie and embracing one's less-than-refined lifestyle align with Captain Philips II's personality. His 'Thankful for these boys today. Drinking a gold 4loko Thinking about yall' tweet reflects the song's celebration of friendship. The song's rowdy, unapologetic tone matches his own blunt and sometimes offensive sense of humor. The song's setting in a dive bar resonates with his aspiration to be a 'bartender at a run down tavern on the weekend'.
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