Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Loyal defender: Openly defends friends/partners, e.g. clarifying Aguiar’s adult-only content and criticizing unfair accusations in “você disse um tópico importante...”.
- Boundary-setting: States clear limits about who should follow and how, as in “boa noite, não tenho paciência alguma para menores de idade...” and “se for para seguir e nem interagir pode dar sb...”.
- Emotionally honest: Admits feeling bad or overwhelmed instead of pretending, like “péssima ^^ , e você .ᐣ” and “fingindo felicidade porque em meu âmago eu estou super triste...”.
- Affectionate friend: Expresses care and love for close people, e.g. “meus dois amores juntos , olha a carinha de quem está gostando .ᐟ amo vocês .” and calling others “amor” in replies like “por nada , amor .”.
- Direct communicator: Addresses conflict head-on rather than hinting, as in “vocês são tão doentes que me dá nojo e preguiça .” and “vai tomar no olho do seu cu .”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh language: Frequently uses insults and swearing, e.g. “vai tomar no olho do seu cu .” and “vai caçar um pau ‘pra subir .”.
- Aggressive reactions: Responds to annoyance with verbal aggression, like “sim , e não me chama de lesa , caralho que inferno vai tomar no seu cu emo da p*orra .” and “estou começando a desconfiar que o problema é a gente mesmo , também continuo nervosa e querendo quebrar o pescoço de um .”.
- Self-deprecating: Tends to minimize self-worth, as in “não acho que eu seja importante o suficiente para você se preocupar com a minha pessoa .”.
- Pessimistic outlook: Shows recurring negativity about people and situations, e.g. “atualmente não gosto de ninguém , quero que todos sucumbam ( menos meus dodóis ) .” and “tudo f*odendo .”.
- Procrastination issue: Acknowledges difficulty keeping up with replies and tasks in “prometo que logo menos respondo as dms antigas e as atuais, estou lutando contra minha procrastinação.”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They most closely resemble Lisa Simpson: sharp-tongued, emotionally intense, principled, and a little melodramatic. Like Lisa, they clearly have strong opinions and a moral compass, e.g. calling out people who misuse serious accusations while defending clear boundaries about adult content and age limits in “você disse um tópico importante, usar a pauta que veríssimo apontou foi bastante errado…” and “boa noite, não tenho paciência alguma para menores de idade, se você for um por favor deixe de me seguir…”. They balance vulnerability and depressive undertones with humor and self-awareness, like when they say “fingindo felicidade porque em meu âmago eu estou super triste e melancólica.”. The dramatic misanthropy of “atualmente não gosto de ninguém, quero que todos sucumbam ( menos meus dodóis ) .” mirrors Lisa’s frequent frustration with others’ stupidity and cruelty, even while still deeply caring about her close circle. Their mix of intellectualized complaints, emotional honesty, and occasional explosive rants like “vai tomar no olho do seu cu.” fits Lisa’s brainy yet intense, sometimes overreactive personality more than any other main character.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they thrive on interaction, constantly quote-tweeting and addressing others directly (e.g. calling out friends by @, or saying “as mulheres e nbs, boa noite, aos homens ... o que eu tenho a ver .ᐣ”), and clearly enjoy attention and engagement (“se for para seguir e nem interagir pode dar sb, obrigada.”). Their style is strongly iNtuitive; they talk in metaphors, aesthetics and vibes rather than concrete details (like the poetic bio and lines such as “fingindo felicidade porque em meu âmago eu estou super triste e melancólica .”), and focus on emotional/relational subtext more than sensory facts. They are clearly Feeling-oriented: decisions and judgments come from values, loyalty and emotional reactions, whether defending someone’s reputation (“foi bastante errado dando a entender que aguiar é um criminoso… lembrando que a indicação da rede é +18.”) or expressing affection (“meus dois amores juntos , olha a carinha de quem está gostando .ᐟ amo vocês .”). Finally, they appear more Perceiving than Judging: they procrastinate and struggle with follow-through (“prometo que logo menos respondo as dms… estou lutando contra minha procrastinação.”), are spontaneous and reactive (“surtei caralho , está sem fixado e pronto .”), and describe impulsive spending (“odeio fazer compras impulsivas , mas hoje gastei quase trezentos reais em praticamente NADA .”). Together, this points most strongly to ENFP: expressive, emotionally intense, people-focused, and somewhat chaotic but affectionate in relationships.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’re currently not into anyone and want everyone to succumb except your “dodóis” — do I apply for dodói status, or do I just start by bringing you Aguiar’s pudding recipe and see if I survive the selection process?
- You told people to give softblock if they follow and don’t interact; I’m just here to interact so much that you get suspicious I’m one of those ‘chat off for every person you like’ cases.
- You mentioned recommending Dreamcatcher and almost picking 2NE1’s “Fire” — if we ever hang out, I’ll let you choose the playlist, but only if you promise not to ghost me like your DMs you’re ‘fighting procrastination’ to answer.
- You said you hate stereotypes about blondes and still get called ‘lesa e burra’; for the record, anyone who can orchestrate a slow move into Aguiar’s house without him noticing is clearly the smartest strategist on my timeline.
- Since you love a good bit of drama, facadas entre conhecidos, and called being ‘casada’ the best thing ever: how about we skip the facada part and go direto pra parte em que você me manda ‘vem cá’ e eu obedeço sem reclamar?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Melissa. Pink filter, sharp tongue. Answers DMs eventually, defends her own, hates drama for drama’s sake. Once moved in “by accident” for the pudding.– @pinkestgurl
Your signature cocktail
Pinkest Purr(ing) Poison
This cocktail is bright, pink and a little dangerous, just like their aesthetic and the way they say “atualmente não gosto de ninguém , quero que todos sucumbam ( menos meus dodóis ) .”. Raspberry vodka and rosé bubbles mirror their soft, romantic side and the obsession with pink vibes seen when they complain that a filter ruins the nail color but keeps the aesthetic in “não quero postar sem para não estragar a estética do perfil”. Elderflower liqueur adds a sweet, perfumed note, echoing the bio’s perfumada na tua mente and their affectionate tone when talking about friends and partners in “meus dois amores juntos , olha a carinha de quem está gostando .ᐟ amo vocês .”. The dash of grapefruit bitters represents their sharp tongue and zero‑tolerance attitude toward people who annoy them, as in “vai tomar no olho do seu cu .” and the blunt boundary setting of “não tenho paciência alguma para menores de idade… deixe de me seguir em todas minhas contas.”. Finally, the cotton candy or glitter on top captures their playful, dramatic flair and the chaotic emo–romantic energy of lines like “fingindo felicidade porque em meu âmago eu estou super triste e melancólica .” and the explosive capslock enthusiasm in “FODA IRMÃO, FODA, isso aquie é FODA ENTENDEU?”. This is a strong, sparkling, experimental drink: sweet at first sip, with a lingering bite—exactly the kind of poison they’d probably serve with a wink.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Their timeline is dominated by sharp self‑preservation, aggression toward people who cross them, and a willingness to escalate conflict—very Slytherin traits. When annoyed, they snap with lines like “vai tomar no olho do seu cu .” and “vai caçar um pau ‘pra subir .”, showing a reflex to defend themselves and attack rather than seek harmony. They openly warn others of consequences, e.g. “quebre meu coração uma vez , que farei você se arrepender pelo resto de sua vida .”, which aligns with Slytherin’s vengeful, retaliatory streak. Even their dark humor and casual threats like “se eu te matar para quem eu vou .. deixa quieto .” and “quero que todos sucumbam ( menos meus dodóis ) .” emphasize an us‑vs‑them mentality and protection of their inner circle. While they do show loyalty and affection to close friends and partners, the dominant pattern is cunning, emotional intensity, and a fierce focus on their own and their loved ones’ interests—hallmarks of Slytherin rather than the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
BOCA - Dreamcatcher
The song BOCA by Dreamcatcher fits them extremely well in both vibe and message. They explicitly recommend Dreamcatcher and call them “AS MAMACITAS DO MUNDO”, saying it “combina muito contigo” and suggesting kpops to a friend: “acho que combina muito contigo , deveria escutar alguns kpops , principalmente dreamcatcher , vai gostar bastante .ᐟ AS MAMACITAS DO MUNDO.”, showing they already resonate with the group’s sound and aesthetic. Lyrically, BOCA talks about shutting malicious mouths and protecting oneself from toxicity, which matches their sharp, confrontational tweets such as “vai tomar no olho do seu cu .” and “vocês são tão doentes que me dá nojo e preguiça .”. They are openly protective of boundaries and adult spaces, clarifying issues around accusations and adult content: “foi bastante errado dando a entender que aguiar é um criminoso tanto quanto, sendo que sabemos que o conteúdo dele é apenas adulto! lembrando que a indicação da rede é +18.”. Their mix of softness and threat—“quebre meu coração uma vez , que farei você se arrepender pelo resto de sua vida .”—mirrors Dreamcatcher’s blend of pretty melodies with aggressive, defensive themes, making BOCA an especially fitting anthem.
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