
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The best match is Lisa Simpson, but a version of Lisa struggling more openly with her mental health. Like Lisa, this user is introspective, self-critical, and clearly intelligent yet overwhelmed, as seen in posts like “i have no hobbies i have nothing to talk about i dont contribute anything why do i bother” and “what the fuck is wrong with me”. They show academic pressure and worry about performance, similar to Lisa’s constant anxiety about grades, in “hey guys i got a 2 in history and geography and comp sci im so cooked”. There’s also a sensitive, philosophical and artsy side—liking philosophy and piano in “philosophical rubbish like anything philosophy and im on it” and “yes piano but im lowk rusty i havent played in months”—which strongly echoes Lisa’s personality. At the same time, the user’s intense emotional swings, self-harm urges, and dark humor in tweets like “i want to cuttttttt” and “im going to KILL MYSELF” resemble a more extreme, unfiltered version of Lisa’s canon depressive episodes. Their tenderness toward animals and kids, shown in “i want a pet spider and i want to feed it and look after it and keep it warm i love pls” and “a child hugged me today i dont think i need therapy anymore”, also aligns with Lisa’s deep compassion and caretaking instinct.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as more Introverted than Extroverted: much of their life seems internal, focused on feelings, fantasies and online interaction rather than IRL socialising, e.g. "i have no hobbies i have nothing to talk about i dont contribute anything why do i bother" and long fic binges like "i read 600k words just for him to DIE", which suggests retreating into media rather than external stimulation. They lean strongly Intuitive: they often use metaphorical, imaginative language such as "im a unicorn and my intestines are ribbons and my blood is glitter glue" and make playful, abstract analogies like "monday is a worn out relationship tuesday is the ex you go back to hoping it'll be different..." rather than sticking to concrete, sensory detail. Their decision-making and self‑expression are very Feeling-oriented: they centre emotions, relationships and guilt, e.g. "people pleasing so bad im alive out of guilt", "i feel so disgusting", and intense reactions to characters and babies like "YES PLEASE i've got a whole notes page i've named them and everything... i really want a kid 🥹". They appear more Perceiving than Judging: their life seems spontaneous, disorganised and driven by fluctuating moods (e.g. "dont trust yourself after 9pm", "im so discombobulated rn"), and they struggle with routine and planning (cycling through burnt vapes in "i've found every burnt vape in my house and im rotating between them" and impulsive weight/fasting thoughts like "i was thinking about breaking my fast but then the radio started playing that big girl you are beautiful song"). Taken together—intense inner emotional world, imaginative language, people‑pleasing and guilt, and a somewhat chaotic, go‑with‑the‑moment lifestyle—these traits best align with INFP.

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Your new Twitter bio
Tea-fueled overthinker, part-time philosophy nerd. Once hid curry in a cupboard and lived to tweet about it. Here for cats, jellyfish & essays.– @pupparfait

Your signature cocktail
The vanilla milkshake base spiked with vodka is for the ‘girl dinner’ vibe and her self-proclaimed vanilla obsession, straight from “girl dinner is a vanilla milkshake and a cigarette” and her bio as an avid vanilla enjoyer. A hit of cold-brew coffee concentrate captures the exhausted, half-awake rot of “i sleep more than im awake im rotting alive i wish i could just go into a coma” while giving her enough jittery energy to still overshare online. The grapefruit soda with a dash of bitters nods to “i wannt a grapefruit” and her sharp, self-deprecating mood in tweets like “i'm the fattest person i know btw”, mixing sweetness with a sting. A nicotine-smoked salt rim is mandatory for someone screaming “I NEED NICOTINE” and rotating burnt vapes in “i've found every burnt vape in my house and im rotating between them whenever they start tasting super bad”. Finally, edible glitter and a jelly garnish celebrate her whimsical, slightly deranged sparkle—think “im a unicorn and my intestines are ribbons and my blood is glitter glue” and the “weight loss jelly thing” review promised in “my mum got me a weight loss jelly thing?? will review it next week ‼️”.

Your Hogwarts House
Their timeline shows strong Hufflepuff traits of emotional loyalty, softness, and caretaking. Even while feeling awful, they light up over small, gentle interactions like when they say “a child hugged me today i dont think i need therapy anymore”, which shows how deeply they value warmth and connection. They are intensely people‑pleasing, admitting “people pleasing so bad im alive out of guilt”, a very Hufflepuff kind of self-sacrificing loyalty. Their nurturing side appears in wanting to care for living things, like “i want a pet spider and i want to feed it and look after it and keep it warm i love pls” and “YES PLEASE i've got a whole notes page i've named them and everything... i really want a kid 🥹”. Even their crushes and comforts skew toward softness and affection — “i love women” and “JELLYFISH and cats and hmmm magpies i 💗 magpies” — all of which paints them as a tender, guilt-driven, care-oriented Hufflepuff rather than an ambitious Slytherin or cerebral Ravenclaw.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑known song that fits them best is Teen Idle by MARINA. The track’s mix of dark humor, self‑destruction, and wanting to be a different version of yourself mirrors tweets like “i'm the fattest person i know btw” and “i feel so disgusting”, which echo the song’s body image and self‑loathing themes. Their casual, almost flippant references to self‑harm and suicidal thoughts, such as “i want to cuttttttt”, “im going to KILL MYSELF”, and “its not self harm if i get off a lil”, match the song’s glamorized but deeply sad perspective on pain and death. The sense of being tired, rotting, and stuck, seen in “i sleep more than im awake im rotting alive i wish i could just go into a coma” and “imso tiref”, aligns with the song’s theme of wasted youth and emotional exhaustion. Even their fixation on aesthetics and being a certain kind of girl—like “girl dinner is a vanilla milkshake and a cigarette” and the pink, whimsical vibe in their bio—fits MARINA’s blend of pretty, dreamy imagery with bleak emotional content. Overall, Teen Idle captures the mix of morbidity, self‑critique, and performative, online girlhood that runs through their timeline.

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