
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Lisa fits best because she’s hyper‑self‑aware, intelligent, and constantly overanalyzing herself, often in a dark, depressive way. This user shows intense self-criticism and existential spiraling similar to Lisa’s lowest moments, like when they say “do i even want to be skinny or do i want to be dead? #muchtothinkabout” and “everything i am now is because of myself. i am a stupid, stupid fat girl.”. Lisa also tends to intellectualize her pain and turn it into bitter jokes; this user does the same with their ED and mental health, for example “eating disorder? nah. eating dis order!” and “‘slow progress is still progress’ i yell as they drag me to the padded cell”. There’s also a strong moral/emotional conflict about how their issues affect others, similar to Lisa worrying about her family: “this disorder makes me a mean horrible person” and “i feel so bad for my boyfriend… if i stop i might be kinder, but he’ll be saddled with an ugly fat girlfriend which isn’t fair either.”. While the outward vibe is more unhinged and dark-humored than Lisa’s usual tone, the core is the same: a smart, intensely self-reflective person trapped in their own head, trying to joke their way through constant emotional pain.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert: most content centers on their internal world (weight, shame, suicidal thoughts, bodily sensations) rather than external social life, and even when mentioning people it’s about how they feel about them, e.g. their bf: “i feel so bad for my boyfriend. im so mean and nasty when i’m stuck in the ana cycle…”. Their focus is more iNtuitive than strictly Sensing: although they often mention concrete details like kilos and food, they continually spin these into bigger meanings about identity and existence, e.g. “do i even want to be skinny or do i want to be dead? #muchtothinkabout” and “everything i am now is because of myself. i am a stupid, stupid fat girl.”. The heavy emotional tone and self-worth framing indicate Feeling over Thinking: their judgments are value- and emotion-based rather than logical, as in “i feel so sick and horrible but i’m 0.1kg away from a new lw so” and “this disorder makes me a mean horrible person”. Finally, they appear more Perceiving than Judging: they oscillate between plans and impulses, frequently changing course and coping on the fly (fasting, then purging, then OMAD fruit, then gym) with comments like “fast did NOT go as anticipated… going to restart and try again” and “what if i just fast until valentine’s day 😼” showing flexible, reactive behavior rather than structured long-term planning. Altogether, an INFP profile fits: inwardly focused, emotionally intense, driven by subjective meaning, and living in a turbulent, improvised way rather than a rigidly organized one.

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Your new Twitter bio
Riley | 22 | AU. Fruit enthusiast, gym regular, recovering perfectionist. Once gained 3kg in 2 days from ‘maintenance’ and turned it into data.– @ratsribcage

Your signature cocktail
The blood orange juice is a nod to their obsessive fruit fixation and self-aware humor about it, like “thinking of going on the orange diet. it’s where i eat an orange and then eat another one” and “binge hack: just eat pineapple for your meal and your mouth will literally hurt too much to eat anything after”. The dry sparkling wine or soda water captures their frantic, fizzy energy and constant pushes through fasts and gym sessions, as in “just hit the worst workout of my entire lyfe 😀”. Grapefruit bitters bring in the sharp, bitter edge of their self-loathing and dark humor about their ED and life, like “do i even want to be skinny or do i want to be dead? #muchtothinkabout”. The thin slice of green apple represents the slivers of softness and affection they still show, especially toward their boyfriend, as in “teeny tiny bowl of cereal my bf made for me i lov him”. Finally, the sugar rim with chili salt mirrors the mix of sweetness and pain in their personality and tweets, from “deciding i can kms when i reach my ugw as motivation” to “this disorder is great (crying about 150cal fruit omad) 🩷”, making the drink both enticing and a little bit punishing—just like their timeline.

Your Hogwarts House
Their mindset is intensely goal- and results-focused in a way that aligns with Slytherin ambition. They frame weight loss as a ruthless competition, saying things like “boyfriend just told me he lost 4kg.. okay game on bintch” and “2.8kg until my weight starts with a 4 best believe i am locking the FUCK in”, which shows a drive to win and outdo others rather than just self‑improvement. They also use extreme, self-destructive methods as calculated tools to reach their goals, e.g. “bingeing hack: just eat pineapple for your meal and your mouth will literally hurt too much to eat anything after” and “another pineapple omad bc i never learn my lesson 😁”, which reflects Slytherin-style resourcefulness turned inward. Their willingness to manipulate their own body and health—“deciding i can kms when i reach my ugw as motivation” and “what if i just fast until valentine’s day 😼”—shows a chilling, tunnel-vision dedication to an outcome, a twisted version of Slytherin determination. While there are flashes of humor and tenderness (like affection for their boyfriend), the overarching pattern is ambition, competitiveness, and strategic self-punishment in pursuit of a singular goal, which fits Slytherin more than any other house.

Your movie

Your song
Billie Eilish’s Bury a Friend fits them because it blends dark humor, self-destructive thoughts, and a disturbingly casual relationship with death, all of which echo how they talk about themselves. They joke about suicidal ideation as motivation, like in “deciding i can kms when i reach my ugw as motivation” and “do i even want to be skinny or do i want to be dead? #muchtothinkabout”, mirroring the song’s “I wanna end me” refrain. Their bio, “i riley want 2 die”, and posts like “lowkey losing 30lbs in two months hasn’t made me feel anything… i might have to just blow my brains out idk” match the song’s numb, haunted tone. The way they describe their eating disorder — “this disorder makes me a mean horrible person” and “do i feel like shit because i have an eating disorder or because i haven’t slept in 3 days” — parallels the track’s feeling of being possessed or controlled by something monstrous inside. Even their darkly playful language about their body and pain, like “fasted so hard my body is rejecting everything i eat and drink 🤩”, lines up with the song’s eerie, half-joking, half-serious exploration of suffering.

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