
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user most closely matches Bart Simpson, with a mix of edgy humor, impulsiveness, and underlying vulnerability. They constantly lean into crude, transgressive jokes and antagonistic one-liners, like the vengeful bit in “yea well maybe your son shouldnt have called me a fag at school when i was 13 then he wouldnt have gotten pancaked on the road before he was 30”, which fits Bart’s tendency to lash out when wronged. Their chaotic, self-destructive streak shows up in posts like “Heh I should kill myself” and “Better stop snowing or my car is gonna be wrapped around a tree”, reminiscent of Bart’s reckless stunts and dark humor. There’s also juvenile, sexual, and bodily humor throughout, such as “If I lost a couple inches off my penis id have a vagina” and “couldnt poop last night, today i woke up poopin. always trust the universe”, very in line with Bart’s immature sensibilities. Yet, like Bart’s softer side, the user hints at deeper feelings and loneliness in tweets like “All I want is a girl that listens to shoegaze and plays ffxiv that easy and im still single”, suggesting there’s more than just the clownish exterior.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert: most tweets center on solitary media consumption and online games like FFXIV, e.g. “Someone play ffxiv with me 👉👈” and “See ya later virgins I have a date planned tommorow (on ffxiv) where I will be helping a (maybe) girl out”, with no sign of large in-person social circles. Their humor and interests suggest Intuition over Sensing, with absurd, abstract jokes like “All russia has to do is mass produce big zams and they win” and anime/gaming references such as “final fantasy turned me gay”, focusing on ideas and fictional worlds rather than practical, real‑world detail. They come off as strongly Thinking: blunt, often harsh statements like “yea well maybe your son shouldnt have called me a fag at school when i was 13 then he wouldnt have gotten pancaked on the road before he was 30” or morbid self‑deprecation “Heh I should kill myself” show little concern for tact or emotional cushioning. Their lifestyle and tone are clearly Perceiving—they joke about impulsive, unstructured behavior, e.g. “feel in kinda crazy 😜 might watch sum netflix 🤑 might do sum whip its 🎷 maybe i call them 'zippy pops' idk 😜 haha” and casually mention risky or chaotic situations like “Somehow I flew out of philly with a knife that I didnt know was in my bag then got held up leaving dallas cause of it”. Overall, the combination of solitary, niche interests, abstract humor, abrasive logic‑first communication, and spontaneous, unstructured behavior best fits INTP.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Pennsylvania tech tinkerer, 3D printer hoarder, and FFXIV enjoyer. Once accidentally flew with a knife in my bag and only found out on the way back.– @ribbonsbibbons

Your signature cocktail
The overproof rum hits as hard as their intrusive thoughts and reckless jokes, like when they say “Heh I should kill myself” and “I should commit self forever sleep” with alarming casualness. Cold brew coffee represents the exhausted, wired insomnia energy of “im the kind of tired sleep cant fix”, keeping the drink brooding but functional. Grapefruit bitters capture their bitter, sharp humor, like “yea well maybe your son shouldnt have called me a fag at school when i was 13 then he wouldnt have gotten pancaked on the road before he was 30” and their tax-paranoid “will the irs kill my dog if I fuck up”. Cherry liqueur adds a sweet, horny softness for the horny/shoegaze/ffxiv romantic who says “All I want is a girl that listens to shoegaze and plays ffxiv that easy and im still single” and “I have got to get my dick sucked”. Finally, edible glitter nods to their queer, anime-gamer flair—“final fantasy turned me gay” “final fantasy turned me gay”—and the chaotic, sparkly brainrot behind “feelin kinda crazy 😜 might watch sum netflix 🤑 might do sum whip its 🎷 maybe i call them 'zippy pops' idk 😜 haha”.

Your Hogwarts House
This user shows a sharp, often ruthless edge and a strong instinct for self-preservation that fits Slytherin more than any other house. They display vindictiveness and an intense memory for perceived slights, as in “yea well maybe your son shouldnt have called me a fag at school when i was 13 then he wouldnt have gotten pancaked on the road before he was 30”, which suggests a readiness to retaliate rather than forgive. Their humor leans toward transgressive self-interest and taboo, such as “Selling scrap copper dont ask where I got it” and “They tried stopping me by limiting me to 500 feet but 2 is enough for me”, implying a willingness to bend rules to get what they want. They also show resourcefulness and a tinkerer’s mindset in tweets like “Do I buy a 3rd 3d printer” and “Should I make an ar pistol next”, channeling their interests into concrete (if edgy) projects. While there is dark humor about self-destruction, the overall pattern is not Gryffindor-style brave idealism, Hufflepuff warmth, or Ravenclaw intellectualism, but rather a caustic, self-focused, rule-bending attitude that aligns most closely with Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
Their mix of messy humor, queer identity, and yearning lines up with the vulnerable yet chaotic feeling of I Wanna Be Your Girlfriend. They joke about sexuality and identity in tweets like “final fantasy turned me gay” and openly crave connection with, “All I want is a girl that listens to shoegaze and plays ffxiv that easy and im still single”. There’s a clear longing for affection and companionship in “Someone play ffxiv with me 👉👈” and their excited, slightly self-deprecating date setup in “See ya later virgins I have a date planned tommorow (on ffxiv) where I will be helping a (maybe) girl out”. At the same time, darker self-destructive jokes like “Heh I should kill myself” and “Ok but what if I burn myself on purpose” mirror the song’s undercurrent of emotional instability beneath a simple desire to be loved. Altogether, their timeline reads like a rough-edged queer coming-of-age story, which fits the raw, confessional tone of this song.

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