Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally aware: Openly recognizes his own emotional dependence and patterns, like in “I’ve become such a desperate, miserable little loser. my mood can become almost entirely dependent on how much attention I’m able to get from my crush 😔😔”.
- Affectionate: Expresses strong care and tenderness toward his crush, as in “I just hope I can provide a little happiness in her life even if she doesn’t feel the same as me”.
- Romantic: Idealizes love and devotion, imagining lifelong worship of a partner in “Some day I’ll have value. I’ll be beautiful and precious and loved. A goddess will claim me as her own, and I’ll love and worship her forever and ever and ever and ever.”.
- Playfully kinky: Comfortably jokes about submissive desires and flirting style, like “normalize calling boys pathetic little bitch while flirting ☺️☺️☺️”.
- Self-expressive: Shares vulnerable, intimate experiences and body feelings openly, such as “just fingered myself for a bit… it’s so exciting, can barely sit still after”.
Weaknesses:
- Low self-worth: Frequently frames himself as unworthy or inferior, as in “Wish I was worthy of breathing the same air as women”.
- Self-degrading: Uses harsh language toward himself, like bio “your precious little bitch” and “so pathetic and small~”.
- Idealizing others: Places women, especially his crush, on an unrealistic pedestal, calling her a “divine mind” in “it’s unlikely that a divine mind would concern herself with someone on such a lower plane as myself”.
- Emotional dependence: Admits his mood relies heavily on crush’s attention in “my mood can become almost entirely dependent on how much attention I’m able to get from my crush”.
- Negative self-talk: Regularly insults or diminishes himself, like “I’ve become such a desperate, miserable little loser” and viewing himself as unworthy of time in “I’m not worthy to take up too much of her time”.
Your Simpsons character
Milhouse Van Houten
The user most closely matches Milhouse Van Houten, who is defined by intense crushes, low self-esteem, and a longing to be loved. Like Milhouse pining after Lisa, this user obsessively analyzes his crush’s attention and feels beneath her, saying things like “I’ve become such a desperate, miserable little loser. my mood can become almost entirely dependent on how much attention I’m able to get from my crush 😔😔” and “wonder if my crush thinks about me when I’m not around. it’s unlikely that a divine mind would concern herself with someone on such a lower plane as myself”. The self-deprecating, romantic desperation is very Milhouse-coded, reinforced by lines like “Wish I was worthy of breathing the same air as women” and “Some day I’ll have value. I’ll be beautiful and precious and loved.”. Even the focus on being small and pathetic, as in “realizing I’m actually 5’7 and not 5’8. so pathetic and small~”, fits Milhouse’s anxious, insecure energy. Overall, the combination of romantic idealization, self-doubt, and yearning to be chosen by a girl mirrors Milhouse much more than any of the more confident or self-assured main characters.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): their world centers on their inner feelings, crush, and self-image rather than social events or a wide friend group, as seen in reflections like “I’ve become such a desperate, miserable little loser. my mood can become almost entirely dependent on how much attention I’m able to get from my crush 😔😔” and “wonder if my crush thinks about me when I’m not around.”. Their focus is strongly Intuitive (N), dwelling on idealized fantasies and meanings rather than concrete facts, e.g. “Some day I’ll have value. I’ll be beautiful and precious and loved. A goddess will claim me as her own, and I’ll love and worship her forever and ever and ever and ever.”. They are clearly Feeling (F)-oriented: they judge situations through emotional value and worthiness, writing things like “Wish I was worthy of breathing the same air as women” and “I just hope I can provide a little happiness in her life even if she doesn’t feel the same as me”, which shows prioritizing others’ feelings over logical self-interest. Their tone and lifestyle seem Perceiving (P) rather than structured: there’s little evidence of planning or organization, and more of going with the emotional flow, as when they casually mention being taunted by Duolingo in “Duolingo taunting me :(” and discovering their height with a self-deprecating shrug in “realizing I’m actually 5’7 and not 5’8. so pathetic and small~”. Their romanticized, self-effacing, and emotionally intense style, plus their idealization of a future partner in “the nice thing about being a loser subby boy is that i don’t need to worry about being picky… if i ever find someone who likes me, she’s perfect”, fits best with INFP: inward-focused, idealistic, emotionally driven, and flexible rather than rigidly planned.
Some pickup lines for you
- You keep calling yourself a ‘pathetic little bitch’, but the only thing pathetic here is that Duolingo bird getting more of your attention than I do 👀
- You: ‘Wish I was worthy of breathing the same air as women.’ Me: bold of you to assume we’re not already sharing a room while I’m plotting how to upgrade you from air to cuddles.
- You’re over there reading every tiny interaction with your crush like sacred scripture… if I say hi, will you annotate it, or just write “divine revelation, 10/10 would blush again” in the margins?
- You call yourself a desperate, miserable little loser, but a 5’7 pretty boy who wants to be squeezed tight and worship a goddess forever is exactly my type of collectible—limited edition, handle with care.
- That ‘Gorgeous track dedicated to the pretty boys’ is cute, but I’d rather put you on repeat—careful, though, if I keep listening I might end up being the hulking woman who claims her tiny man and never gives him back.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
22 | learning languages, overthinking crushes & trying to glow up. Once mis-measured my own height by an inch and it still haunts me.– @Rick7765
Your signature cocktail
Precious Little Bitch Spritz
The rose-infused gin captures Rick’s yearning to be “beautiful and precious and loved” as in “Some day I’ll have value. I’ll be beautiful and precious and loved.”, giving the drink a soft, romantic core. Crème de violette adds a dreamy, slightly dramatic purple hue, echoing his idolization of women and self-effacing comments like “Wish I was worthy of breathing the same air as women”. The pink grapefruit soda provides bubbly, bright energy to reflect the butterflies and giddy crush vibes in “I always get butterflies when my crush says hi to me~” and “my crush texted me tonight to talk about school, I’m so happy 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰”. Honey syrup sweetens the mix like his desire to be soft, pretty, and doting, seen in “I want to make myself more pretty” and “just want someone to squeeze me really tight rn”. Finally, a dash of saline represents his self-deprecating, submissive streak from “your precious little bitch” and “normalize calling boys pathetic little bitch while flirting ☺️☺️☺️”, adding a tiny sting of salt that makes the sweetness more intense—just like his mix of insecurity and devotion.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Rick’s defining traits across these tweets are devotion, tenderness, and a desire to be kind and useful to others, especially his crush, which align strongly with Hufflepuff’s loyalty and gentle-heartedness. He repeatedly centers his feelings around caring for someone else’s happiness, saying about his crush that he just hopes he can bring her joy even if it’s unrequited: “I just hope I can provide a little happiness in her life even if she doesn’t feel the same as me” and “wonder if my crush thinks about me when I’m not around… but it’s so nice to dream”. His self-effacing tone underscores a lack of Slytherin-style ambition; he calls himself a “loser subby boy” and frames any future partner as someone inherently kind and generous for choosing him: “only a kind, compassionate, generous person would ever decide to choose someone like me, so I know that if i ever find someone who likes me, she’s perfect”. While there are hints of introspection and a desire for self-improvement, such as wanting to be prettier or more worthy (“I want to make myself more pretty” and “Some day I’ll have value. I’ll be beautiful and precious and loved”), these are framed around being a better, more lovable person rather than seeking status or power. Overall, Rick’s identity is wrapped up in devotion, softness, and the hope of being a loyal, affectionate companion, making Hufflepuff the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
Pretty When You Cry - Lana Del Rey
A well‑known song that fits Rick is Pretty When You Cry by Lana Del Rey, because it captures a blend of vulnerability, devotion, and low self‑worth that runs through his posts. He repeatedly puts women on a pedestal and diminishes himself, as in “Wish I was worthy of breathing the same air as women” and “it’s unlikely that a divine mind would concern herself with someone on such a lower plane as myself”, which mirrors the song’s themes of feeling small and unworthy in love. His longing to be claimed and cherished is clear in “Some day I’ll have value. I’ll be beautiful and precious and loved. A goddess will claim me as her own, and I’ll love and worship her forever…”, echoing the song’s obsessive, worshipful attachment. Even his bio, “your precious little bitch,” and tweets like “the nice thing about being a loser subby boy…” show the same melancholic submission and romanticized suffering that define the mood and lyrics of Pretty When You Cry.
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