riseguard
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In a relationship:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Consistent: Posts daily updates labeled âDay X wiwiwiâ from Day 1 to Day 49, showing regular activity.
- Creative: Pairs pictures with unique captions like âWabi sabiâ and âstarting a minecraft world w her <3>â.
- Expressive: Openly shares emotions, e.g., ârough week đ istg next week gotta be betterâ and âI am deadâ.
- Affectionate: Frequently praises his girlfriend, such as âMy gf is so fucking gorgeous holy shitâ and âHow to tell your gf how much you love her when the words donât exist yet.â
- Humorous: Uses absurd jokes, e.g., âput whip cream on your tits so I can lick it offâ and âTo be a cat that is making biscuits on her boobies.â
Weaknesses:
- Depressive: Repeated negative selfâstatements like âI would like to pass away rnâ and âI am dead.â
- Sexualized: Frequent explicit sexual content, e.g., âput whip cream on your tits so I can lick it offâ and âIâm just a innocent lil boy, totally not a horny devil.â
- Impulsive: Posts random, unfiltered thoughts such as âturning to her after sex with thisâ and âdo you guys count esex as a body?â.
- Selfâdeprecating: Regular selfâcritical remarks, like âMy brain isnât working help meâ and âIâm just a innocent lil boyâŠâ.
- Boundaryless: Shares intimate and sexual details publicly, e.g., âwhen your gf gets along with your lil sister >â and âhorny hours.â
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
The userâs constant focus on sexual fantasies, selfâdeprecating humor, and occasional depressive outbursts echo Homer Simpsonâs reckless, often lecherous behavior and his tendency to swing between goofy confidence and low selfâesteem. For example, the tweet "Do not flirt with me, Iâll punch you and call my gf to finish the job" mirrors Homerâs protective, sometimes aggressive stance toward Marge. The user also says "My gf is so fucking gorgeous holy shit", similar to Homerâs frequent adoration of Marge. Their confession "Iâm just a innocent lil boy, totally not a horny devil with the most freakiest brain ever" reflects Homerâs classic "dâoh!" selfâcontradiction and cluelessness. The repeated "I am dead" and "my brain isnât working help me" echo Homerâs frequent moments of feeling overwhelmed or knocked out. Finally, the daily "Day X wiwiwi" posts resemble Homerâs chaotic, everyday misadventures that are often captured in short, repetitive updates.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFJ
The user frequently seeks interaction and validation from others, as seen in "someone lay on me please I need weight on top of me [picture]" and "someone hook me up w a good side hustle fr [picture]", indicating an extroverted style. Their tweets focus on concrete, sensory details like "starting a minecraft world w her <3 > [picture]" and "what brand is your microwave? [picture]", reflecting a sensing preference. Emotional language and personal values dominate, for example "My gf is so fucking gorgeous holy shit [picture]" and "Do not flirt with me, Iâll punch you and call my gf to finish the job [picture]", showing a feeling orientation. Finally, the consistent "Day X wiwiwi" series and statements such as "I think itâs time I ACTUALLY buy a bikeâŠ" reveal a structured, organized approach, characteristic of judging.
Some pickup lines for you
- If my heart were a Minecraft block, I'd mine it just to build a cozy little house for you, your orange cat, and a 'wiwiwi' soundtrack on repeat.
- Your daily 'Day X wiwiwi' posts are the cutest diary I've ever seenâhow about we add a new entry: Day X: we share a coffee and talk about Wabi-sabi moments.
- I know you love orange cats and the beauty of Wabi-sabi, so how about an imperfectly perfect cuddle with a purring orange cat and a cup of tea?
- Seeing Clyde when you wake up sounds like a lucky charmâlet's be each other's Clyde and make every morning feel like a win.
- Your side-hustle hunting skills are impressiveâlet's hustle together for a date, and I'll reward you with a 'wiwiwi' serenade and a Minecraft adventure.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Digital storyteller, cat dad to Clyde the accidental meme star; gamer, 50âday #Wiwiwi chronicler, sharing love, laughs, and Minecraft builds.â @riseguard
Your signature cocktail
Silly Orange Cat Wiwiwi Fizz
The cocktail captures Jamey's playful orangeâcat energy with bright orange vodka, while the yuzu liqueur nods to the âWabiâsabiâ aesthetic he mentions. A splash of ginger beer adds the spicy âWiwiwiâ vibe that repeats throughout his timeline, echoing tweets like "Day 2 Wiwiwi" and "Day 1âŠ. Wiwiwi". Creamy milk foam on top mimics the âsilly orange catâ bio, and a dash of bitters reflects his occasional ârough week đâ moments. The garnish of orange zest shaped like cat ears ties it back to his love for cats and the line "23 silly orange cat". This drink is both sweet, a little hot, and a touch bittersweet â just like Jamey's daily posts.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
The user repeatedly shows loyalty and devotion to their girlfriend, as seen in tweets like "im the luckiest guy in the world" and "My gf is so fucking gorgeous holy shit". They also demonstrate a caring, supportive attitude, for example "still saying goodnight even though she is asleep >" and "when your gf gets along with your lil sister >". Their posts often acknowledge hardship but emphasize patience and perseverance, such as "rough week đ istg next week gotta be better". These traits of loyalty, patience, and dedication align closely with Hufflepuff values, while there is little evidence of the bravery, ambition, or intellectual focus typical of the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
Crazy In Love - BeyoncĂ© feat. JayâZ
The user repeatedly declares intense devotion to his girlfriend, e.g., "My gf is so fucking gorgeous holy shit" and "Iâm just a innocent lil boy, totally not a horny devil with the most freakiest brain ever," indicating a love that feels both passionate and overwhelming. Their daily âDay X wiwiwiâ posts and frantic expressions like "horny hours" and "rough week đ istg next week gotta be better" reveal a chaotic, almost manic energy that aligns with the songâs theme of being âcrazy in love.â The lyric âGot me looking so crazy, my baby, youâre the one Iâm crazy forâ mirrors the userâs selfâdescribed mental turbulence and obsessive thoughts, as seen in tweets such as "my brain isnât working help me". The upbeat, highâenergy vibe of âCrazy In Loveâ also matches the userâs playful catârelated humor, like the bio â23 silly orange cat,â reflecting a mix of silliness with intense feeling.
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