River5213q
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This user aligns most with Bart Simpson, who embodies chaotic, edgy mischief and dark humor. River constantly posts transgressive or provocative jokes, like the school-shooting and attack reports framed almost like fandom updates: “School shooting in maryland high school one injured one suspect arrested. Bodycam of cops going through brown university released. 🚨🚨” and “Stabbing in Russian University injuries 4 indians and some others 🚨🚨”. Like Bart, they mix this with goofiness and irreverence, e.g. “Um guys i can explain”, “Try not to laugh”, and openly mocking internet subcultures: “I thought shedtwt was bad...”. Their politics and trolling attitude also echo Bart’s anti-authoritarian streak, such as “>I dont want a white ethno state Then your no better then a conservative” and “Holy shit cuckservatives are doing cancel culture”. Even the casual “Gm” selfies and self-aware jokes like “Idk why im doing this” fit Bart’s mix of bravado and underlying teen insecurity rather than Homer’s adult cluelessness or Lisa’s earnest moralizing.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Extrovert (E): they constantly interact with others, run polls, and invite engagement, e.g. “Drop your ideology below. I wanna see how big the river follower tent is” and “Dms open btw”, showing a desire for wide social exchange rather than quiet privacy. Their content is strongly Intuitive (N): they fixate on political/ideological abstractions and meta-issues rather than concrete day‑to‑day life, like “How stupid are your politics? ❌Supports Russia ❌ Supports Iran … 🟨 Ban all immigration …” and “>I dont want a white ethno state Then your no better then a conservative”. They present as Thinking (T): their tone is blunt, combative, and argument‑driven, often dismissing others harshly, e.g. “The kid on left most likely isn't even trans also if you support the black kid your retarded” and “>fuck those accelerationists o algo they is harmful because they want white nations”. Their behavior is Perceiving (P): tweets are spontaneous, reactive, and unstructured rather than planned, with lots of off‑the‑cuff reactions like “Um guys i can explain”, “Idk why im doing this”, and rapid shifts from memes to breaking news (e.g. “School shooting in maryland high school…”). Altogether, the outgoing, debate‑oriented, idea‑focused, and improvisational style fits ENTP best.

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Your new Twitter bio
News junkie, RW Twitter lurker & accidental Seahawks correspondent. Once live‑tweeted a car crash and a school shooting on the same day.– @River5213q

Your signature cocktail
Overproof dark rum brings the heavy, unfiltered kick that matches their far-right, no-nuance posting like “>I dont want a white ethno state Then your no better then a conservative” and “Unhappy black history month”. Espresso cold brew captures their chronically-online, hyper-alert vibe, always up on news of violence like “School shooting in russia kills one security guard and injures 3 others. The shooter used a sawed off TOZ 34…” and “Stabbing in Russian University injuries 4 indians and some others 🚨🚨”. Cherry cola adds a playful, zoomer-soda sweetness that fits their constant casual posts like “Gm” and “Yes I like yuri how could you tell?”. A dash of smoked chili bitters represents the edgy, incendiary edge in tweets like “>fuck those accelerationists o algo they is harmful because they want white nations” and “How stupid are your politics?”. The black cherry garnish nods to the slightly melodramatic, aesthetic side of posts like “9 more followers until 500 ❤️🩹” and their self-aware, sinister flair in “Once normgroids use sinister that is the day I truly die”. All together, it’s strong, a bit toxic, unexpectedly sweet, and very online—just like The Sinister GM Highball’s namesake.

Your Hogwarts House
Based on their tweets.

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