Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Intense Loyalty: He fiercely defended Deshaun Watson for years despite heavy public scrutiny and allegations as seen in “i defended deshaun watson for two and a half years”.
- High Self-Confidence: He views himself as a top-tier individual, claiming to be the “coldest white boy in the entire southeast”.
- Technologically Savvy: He is an early adopter of tech and gaming trends, showcasing his “new apple watch” and custom “build tutorial”.
- Socially Active: He actively engages with niche internet subcultures and seeks out “looking for moots” to expand his circle.
- Passionate Fan: He shows deep emotional investment in his teams, even admitting he will “cry real tears” when LeBron James retires.
Weaknesses:
- Extreme Hostility: He frequently uses violent rhetoric, such as hoping a player dies in a “brutal car crash”.
- Toxic Negativity: He often attacks people for their interests, calling a user a “social reject” for a TikTok profile photo.
- Impulsive Behavior: He admits to being “crazy” and crashing out, which translates into reckless threats online.
- Poor Sportsmanship: He turns on his own idols quickly when they underperform, asking “WHO HAS IT WORSE THAN ME” after losses.
- Social Insensitivity: He mocks solemn events and people, stating that “remembering 9/11” won't change history.
Your Simpsons character
Nelson Muntz
Like Nelson Muntz, @RlCHARDOWENS thrives on cynical mockery, aggressive confrontation, and a 'tough guy' persona that often masks the misfortune he frequently mentions. He frequently 'punches down' at others for their tastes or failures, such as when he tells a user “i’d shove you in a locker kid 😂” or maliciously hopes a child “comes out retarded”. This parallels Nelson’s signature laugh and penchant for bullying, yet like the character, Richard also leans into a 'woe is me' narrative when his sports teams fail him, asking “WHO HAS IT WORSE THAN ME ?????”. His volatility even extends to extreme, dark outbursts, such as wishing for a “BRUTAL CAR CRASH” for an athlete, mirroring Nelson's occasionally sociopathic tendencies.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTP
Richard exhibits strong Extroversion and Sensing traits through his high-energy engagement with sports, rap culture, and his immediate surroundings, such as when he asks for “moots” or shares his “dining hall fried chicken” experiences. His Thinking is marked by a blunt, often aggressive communication style, seen when he tells another user, “i’d shove you in a locker kid 😂” or calls someone a “social reject” for their profile photo. Finally, his Perceiving nature is evident in his spontaneous, reactionary posting habits and his 'jester' approach to social life, notably claiming that “JESTERMAXXING at the club is officially the new meta.” This combination reflects a thrill-seeking, confrontational personality who lives entirely in the present moment.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you Evan Mobley? Because I’d prioritize you over Garland and Mitchell any day of the week.
- I promise I’m a better investment than DJ Uiagalelei—I’ll never finesse you, and I can definitely throw it further than 10 yards.
- If you’re still looking for a royal flush, I’m the only card you’re missing to complete the hand.
- You won’t need to JESTERMAXX at the club tonight if you're with me, because I already think you're the main character.
- Forget the Crumbl and Chick-fil-A—how about we go out for a dinner that’s actually as top-tier as a Molly Santana track?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Camden native and dedicated Cavs enthusiast. When I’m not analyzing Evan Mobley’s FGA or the latest Molly Santana drop, I’m surviving another 200-word essay.– @RlCHARDOWENS
Your signature cocktail
The Royal Flush Out
This drink is as volatile and 'strong' as Richard's timeline, starting with a high-proof rum for the man who “crashes out respectfully and reasonably”. The sour apple and salt represent his bitter sports takes, specifically for when the “browns are 1 3 and find new ways to lose”, while the cookie garnish honors his love for “crumbl and chick fil a”. It's an experimental mix for someone who loves to “jestermaxxing at the club” and is constantly asking “WHO HAS IT WORSE THAN ME ?????”. Despite the chaos, it's served in a premium glass because he “played the cards I was dealt and got a royal flush.”
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Richard exemplifies Slytherin’s ambition and intense loyalty to his chosen 'inner circle,' often aggressively defending figures like Deshaun Watson by stating, “real #DeshaunFC #WatsonNation members never stopped believing 💯”. His bio, “played the cards i was dealt and got a royal flush,” highlights a resourceful, results-oriented mindset focused on personal success. He displays a cunning, sometimes ruthless edge when dealing with outsiders, even joking about “shove you in a locker kid 😂” or boasting that he would “turn each and every one of the people in this picture into stains on the pavement”. This combination of fierce group tribalism and a sharp, competitive nature aligns perfectly with the house of ambition.
Your movie
Your song
Bad Day - Daniel Powter
Despite his bio claiming he was dealt a “royal flush,” Richard’s timeline is a relentless cycle of sporting misery and 'crashing out' that mirrors the theme of a persistent bad day. He frequently laments his luck, asking “WHO HAS IT WORSE THAN ME ?????” after his favorite teams fail or his quarterback, Deshaun Watson, underperforms. This sense of defeat is palpable when he admits, “i defended deshaun watson for two and a half years... and this is how he repays me i wasn’t meant to be a sports fan.” Whether he is dealing with college stress or a bad album release, his habit of posting “i’m done bro ✌️✌️” captures the exact energy of someone whose 'kick has gone a gift' and just wants to turn the camera down.
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