RyanDorf
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Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Witty: Ryan's sharp humor is evident in tweets like 'Never going to watch Ex Machina... brother we all would want to fuck the robot. Whats the point.'
- Self-Aware: They often poke fun at their own habits, as seen in 'Building on last year's resolution to start smoking cigarettes again I think this year's resolution is be a more selfish lover.'
- Observant: Ryan has a knack for noticing absurd details, like 'Why are there advertisement billboards in Roku city this is not the utopia I dreamed of.'
- Culturally Engaged: They frequently reference pop culture and local Boston life, such as 'Most underrated Boston dive bar may actually be the tasty burger in the back bay station.'
- Chaotic Humor: Ryan thrives on absurdity, as seen in 'Had too much wine and ordered the kneecap balaclava.'
Weaknesses:
- Impulsive: Drunkenly ordering a kneecap balaclava shows a tendency for impulsive decisions.
- Overindulgent: Tweets like 'Ripping cigs inside a bar and then eating a disgusting amount of Taco Bell' highlight a lack of restraint.
- Cynical: Their tweet 'The vile Globalists behind the Netflix algorithm keep trying to get me to watch arcane' reflects a tendency toward cynicism.
- Procrastinator: Ryan admits to delaying tasks, as seen in 'Heartbreaking: work task I put off all afternoon took five minutes.'
- Snarky: Their humor can be biting, like in 'LA thoughts: being a hwite man flexing sleeping with asian girls is wild its like bragging about outwitting ur dog.'
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Ryan's chaotic humor and love for indulgence make them a perfect match for Bart Simpson. Tweets like 'Choose kindness and all that but if you honk at me for using a crosswalk I’m throwing batteries at your car' are reminiscent of Bart's mischievous antics. Both have a knack for finding absurdity in everyday life, as seen in Ryan's 'The vile Globalists behind the Netflix algorithm keep trying to get me to watch arcane.'
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
Ryan's personality aligns with ENTP traits: extroverted, intuitive, thinking, and perceiving. Their extroversion is evident in their frequent social observations, like 'Most underrated Boston dive bar may actually be the tasty burger in the back bay station.' Their intuition shines in their cultural critiques, such as 'Why are there advertisement billboards in Roku city this is not the utopia I dreamed of.' Their thinking is sharp and sarcastic, as seen in 'Never going to watch Ex Machina... brother we all would want to fuck the robot.' Finally, their perceiving nature comes through in their chaotic humor and adaptability, such as 'Had too much wine and ordered the kneecap balaclava.'
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a kneecap balaclava? Because you’ve got me wrapped up in your chaos.
- Do you like Joyce Manor? Because I’d let you be the soundtrack to my life.
- Are you a Boston dive bar? Because you’re underrated and I want to spend all my time with you.
- Are you the B line? Because I’d ride with you even if joggers pass us.
- Are you maple syrup? Because you’re the sweetest part of my $200 grocery bill.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Boston chaos agent | Dive bar connoisseur | Kneecap balaclava enthusiast | Equal parts snark and self-deprecation | Always wine drunk, occasionally insightful | DM me if you have empanadas.– @RyanDorf
Your signature cocktail
The Balaclava Buzz
The 'Balaclava Buzz' captures Ryan's chaotic yet indulgent personality. Whiskey reflects their boldness, while maple syrup nods to their grocery shopping woes ('$200 on groceries and 10% of that was maple syrup'). The Tabasco adds a chaotic kick, much like their humor in 'Choose kindness and all that but if you honk at me for using a crosswalk I’m throwing batteries at your car.' Smoked ice ties it all together, embodying their love for indulgence and absurdity.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Ryan's sharp wit, ambition, and chaotic humor align with Slytherin traits. Their tweet 'Adding everyone who managed to get one of the Grillo pickle x run for cover records shirts at this festival to my list of people to rob' shows a cunning and mischievous side. They also exhibit a self-preserving attitude, like 'Boss’ boss asking me to come to the office more like please take a hint I’m just not that into you.' Slytherins are resourceful and bold, much like Ryan's personality.
Your movie
Your song
I Wanna Be Sedated - The Ramones
Ryan's chaotic yet laid-back vibe aligns with the punk rock ethos of 'I Wanna Be Sedated.' Their tweet 'Building on last year's resolution to start smoking cigarettes again' reflects the song's themes of indulgence and rebellion. The humor in 'Had too much wine and ordered the kneecap balaclava' also matches the song's irreverent tone.
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