safety785
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Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate: Posts emotive calls for excitement, e.g., “Need a 6‑7 game with the penguins blowing a 5‑0 lead”.
- Observant: Notes specifics like injuries (“HOW MANY TORN ACLS TODAY???”) and line play (“Look at the O line”).
- Analytical: Critiques player performance and tactics, such as “Silovs gotta be the worst shootout goalie ever”.
- Humorous: Uses sarcasm and jokes, e.g., “I’ll will do a hairline reveal if the Texans pull it off”.
- Engaging: Includes pictures, quoted tweets, and rhetorical questions to spark discussion.
Weaknesses:
- Negativity: Frequent disdain for teams and players, labeling many as “worst” or “piss me off”.
- Profanity: Regular use of strong language like “fucking unbelievable” and “ultra fuck’d”.
- Lack of Constructiveness: Offers criticism without solutions, e.g., “Don’t think pass rusher would changes the trajectory of a bum franchise”.
- Impulsivity: Emotional outbursts such as “WHAT????” and “NOOOOOO” in reaction to events.
- Bias: Shows strong, uniform negativity toward certain teams/players, indicating partiality.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
The user constantly vents frustration about sports teams with exaggerated, profanity‑laden outbursts, just as Homer Simpson reacts loudly when his beloved Springfield Isotopes lose (e.g., "Fucking unbelievable" and "Worst farewell tour ever"). Their bio describes them as a "pessimistic gimmick man" whose teams "piss me off," mirroring Homer's perpetual disappointment and pessimism about his favorite teams. The blunt, emotional commentary seen in tweets like "Rangers are ultra fuck’d now" and "How many torn ACLs today???" captures Homer's tendency to shout and exaggerate rather than provide calm analysis. While Homer is ultimately good‑natured, his core trait is being a passionate, often angry sports fan who reacts with simple, loud statements, making him the closest match among the main Simpsons characters.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTP
The user’s high volume of real‑time reactions and direct engagement with other fans (e.g., “Give ur jets fan friend a hug”, “I’ll will do a hairline reveal if the Texans pull it off”) shows extraverted behavior. Their focus on concrete game details and observable events (“HOW MANY TORN ACLS TODAY???”, “Sturm at 111% is crazy”) points to a sensing preference. The blunt, logical critiques of performance and accountability (“Hate that whenever something goes wrong u can use ‘mental health issue’ as a way to avoid accountability”, “The ref should get banned for life like in the KHL”) indicate a thinking style. The spontaneous, impulsive posting style with exclamations like “NOOOOOO” and “Fucking unbelievable” reflects a perceiving orientation. These traits together suggest an ESTP personality.
Some pickup lines for you
- You say you need a 6‑7 game with the Penguins blowing a 5‑0 lead—let’s be that match where I’m the overtime goal that finally wins your heart.
- I’d nuke the flipper franchise just to free up a roster spot for you—because you’re the all‑star I’ve been scouting for.
- My feelings for you are at 111% like Sturm, and I promise I won’t be the one needing a torn ACL to keep up.
- If Silovs is the worst shootout goalie, consider me the puck that finally finds the net—maybe we can score a win together like Sorokin.
- I know you hate basketball but love football—so how about we skip the hoops and go straight to a touchdown date? I’ll bring the snacks, you bring the sarcasm.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Sarcastic sports commentator: hockey, football & baseball junkie, ex-basketball hater. Once got a referee's whistle for yelling at a mascot. #HotTakes– @safety785
Your signature cocktail
The Benchwarmer's Bitter
The Benchwarmer's Bitter is a smoky, sharp concoction that captures safety785’s perpetual frustration with underperforming teams. It blends smoked bourbon for that gritty, relentless edge, bitter amaro to echo the user’s pessimistic outlook, and fresh lemon juice to give a sour punch that mirrors constant disappointment. A dash of hot sauce adds a sudden, fiery kick, reminiscent of the 'Shutout by a guy playing like a terrorist' rage in their timeline. Garnished with a tiny pickled cucumber shaped like a hockey puck, it nods to the endless complaints about the Penguins and other hockey woes, like the tweet 'Need a 6 7 game with the penguins blowing a 5 0 lead'. Just as they write, 'All my teams choked on the same day' and 'Houston being 5th is laughable', this drink delivers a bitter choke that leaves you questioning every sip.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
The user often asks for data, as in "Show me the even strength numbers [picture]", showing a love of knowledge and analysis. They also make witty, sarcastic observations, like "Don’t meant to hate but why does he sound so mechanical like a robot", reflecting Ravenclaw's sharp wit. Their focus on uncovering truth and calling out excuses, for example "Hate that whenever something goes wrong u can use “mental health issue” as a way to avoid accountability", demonstrates a desire for intellectual honesty. Additionally, clever references such as "Sturm at 111% is crazy" and "The “nine” curse 💀" reveal a penchant for clever wordplay and insight, hallmarks of Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
I Hate Everything About You - Three Days Grace
The user constantly vents frustration and hatred toward sports teams and players, saying things like "All my teams choked on the same day" and "Worst farewell tour ever". Their bio even calls them an "Avid Basketball Hater" and tweets such as "I hate that whenever something goes wrong u can use 'mental health issue' as a way to avoid accountability" show a pervasive negative tone. The aggressive, resentful lyrics of Three Days Grace’s "I Hate Everything About You" echo this sentiment, with lines about hating every aspect of someone or something. The song’s raw, angry energy matches the user’s frequent profanity‑filled rants like "Fucking unbelievable" and "Houston being 5th is laughable".
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