Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally expressive: Openly shares intense feelings about love, pain, and fandom, e.g. “Eu amo tanto ela que chega a doer, mas ela ama tanto outra que me dói” and bio “I hate you for making me love you… no matter what🫧🌻.”
- Passionate fan: Shows strong dedication to ships and GL content, e.g. “Vou virar cp de lenamiu definitivo”, “Elas vão abalar em, antes que vire moda já aviso que sou fã #EnemiesWithBenefits”.
- Humorous candid: Uses dark, self-deprecating humor to cope, like “Finalizando a noite com uma crise de enxaqueca que está doendo até meu cu” and joking about the cunhada as “mãe da minha filha” in “(Não tenho filha e essa mulher é minha cunhada)”.
- Loyal supporter: Defends and uplifts favorites and ships, e.g. “Ser alimentada por lingorm melhora meu ano” and “ELAS SÃO OS AMORES DA MINHA VIDA”.
- Self-aware introspective: Recognizes own patterns and obsessions, e.g. “Eu sou uma vítima do meu hiperfoco na minha ex” and “Nao superei fayeyoko e nem minha ex, ta ficando complicado”.
Weaknesses:
- Ex-obsessed: Frequent focus on ex and potential relapse, e.g. “Será que a minha ex volta? Por favor nunca pedi nada” and “Será que rola uma recaída com a minha ex esse ano”.
- Harsh resentful: Uses strong hostile language toward ex and others, like “Minha ex é uma puta de uma red flag desgraçada mds” and “Espero que aquele projeto de cobra venenosa se engasgue com próprio veneno”.
- Rumination-prone: Dwells on painful situations and endings, e.g. “Não aceito esse fim, pois vou me remoer por 145 anos” and repeatedly revisiting old ships and relationships.
- Impulsive negativity: Often reacts with intense negativity or curses, e.g. “Preciso no mínimo de um tiro que dor desgraçada” and complaints about hospital and week in “e eu quero morrer. Amanhã é aniversário da minha mãe e irá fazer 6 anos que minha tia morreu... e a semana mal começou”.
- Boundary-blurring: Jokes about or entertains unhealthy dynamics, like “Minha ex ainda tem namorada... vou ter que estar dando um jeito nisso” and fantasizing revenge-sex in “queria que a minha ex fosse da pior espécie... para pode chamar ela de cachorra safada depois”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, who is emotionally intense, idealistic, and extremely fixated on her interests. Like Lisa with her hyperfixations (sax, causes, books), this user spirals into obsessions with ships and series, e.g. “To vendo o fandom de enjoyjune em surto enquanto as fayeyokinhas estão a 1 ano inventando conteúdo da cabeça delas” and “Será que algum dia eu termino corrupt? #fayeyoko”. They are very self-aware and dramatic about their love life, especially their ex, as seen in “Nao superei fayeyoko e nem minha ex, ta ficando complicado” and “Será que rola uma recaída com a minha ex esse ano ou não vai estar dando???”, which mirrors Lisa’s tendency to overthink relationships and heartbreak. There’s also a strong moral/emotional stance on wider issues, like “Desde que eu vi algo sobre uma atriz da globo ser sionista não consigo mais olhar ela normal”, reflecting Lisa’s political and ethical sensitivity. Finally, their mixture of melancholy, intelligence, and romantic idealism—wanting a woman to “fall from the sky” to forget an ex, as in “Não ta dando, que caia uma mulher do céu para me fazer esquecer aquela”—is very much in line with Lisa’s blend of cynicism and hope.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they constantly interact with fandoms, address others directly, and dramatize their life publicly (e.g. “Se o Twitter cair eu caio junto, vai ser rasteira” and “Alô fayeyokinhas temos visita, pode entrar englotinhas 💥💥💥💥”), which suggests energy from social engagement rather than quiet privacy. Their style is strongly iNtuitive: they fixate on ships, imagined scenarios, and future possibilities rather than concrete tasks, like manifesting outcomes in relationships and fandom (“Queria falar que tá prestes a acontecer, eu to sentindo, vou mexer meus pausinhos e vai acontecer”) and turning a fic into a reflection on the author’s sanity (“impossível uma pessoa escrever isso e se encontrar em sanidade”). They are clearly Feeling-oriented, processing everything through emotion and relationships instead of detached logic: they describe their ex and favorite ships in visceral terms (“Nao superei fayeyoko e nem minha ex, ta ficando complicado”, “Eu amo tanto ela que chega a doer, mas ela ama tanto outra que me dói”) and react morally to people and characters (“espero que aquele projeto de cobra venenosa se engasgue com próprio veneno”). Their behavior looks more Perceiving than Judging: they are impulsive, mood-driven, and often overwhelmed rather than structured or planned (“Será que algum dia eu termino corrupt?” and “Vou ter que sobreviver a minha ex pelo menos durante 1 mês até conseguir me mudar, mas to passando mal antes mesmo de ver ela”), and their life updates read as reacting in the moment, not following a rigid plan. Taken together—socially expressive, fantasy- and future-focused, highly emotional, and spontaneous—this profile best matches ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You’re out here manifesting your ex turning into the worst red flag just so you can call her ‘cachorra safada’ after… meanwhile I’m over here manifesting that you get a girlfriend who just eats your prestígio cake and kisses your migraine away. Spoiler: it’s me.
- You’re anxious waiting for Enemies With Benefits, obsessed with fayeyoko, lenamiu, lingorm, tknur, englot, enjoyjune… have you considered adding a new canon ship to the list? ‘Sahmyfy x the girl who actually deserves you’ premieres whenever you say yes.
- You say you’d lose 10 years of life for your faves and fall apart every time a GL couple sofre um baque… imagine the plot twist when you find a girl that looks at you the way você olha pra Pocoyo’s little pout. I volunteer for the role, no fan service, just canon.
- You survived a whole day at the doctor, six years of saudade da sua tia, living near your ex, and still have energy to scream about GL releases and police women fardadas… I’m just saying, if resilience were a series, you’d be the main character and I’d binge-watch you in one night.
- You keep begging the universe: ‘will my ex come back?’ and ‘will a woman fall from the sky to make me forget her?’ I may not fall from the sky, but I did drop into your timeline—with zero FS, no Nine, and full commitment to being the healthiest ship you’ve ever stanned.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Lesbian GL enthusiast, chronic ex-overthinker, and professional FayeYoko analyst. Once ate a coconut cake I hate just because she baked it.– @sahmyfy
Your signature cocktail
Enemies With Benefits On The Rocks
This cocktail is loud, dramatic, and a little unhinged—just like someone who says they’re fine but is tweeting “Nao superei fayeyoko e nem minha ex, ta ficando complicado” and “Será que rola uma recaída com a minha ex esse ano ou não vai estar dando???”. The overproof rum is for the chaotic, obsessive stan energy of “To passando mal já esperando o lançamento de gls… Enemies with benefits… Por favor lança logo to ficando louca”. Blood orange liqueur brings a bittersweet, dramatic heart, echoing “Eu amo tanto ela que chega a doer, mas ela ama tanto outra que me dói”. Blackberry syrup adds dark, sticky sweetness—the lingering attachment behind “Será que a minha ex volta? Por favor nunca pedi nada”. Lime juice cuts through like her sharp read in “Minha ex é uma puta de uma red flag desgraçada mds”, and the sparkling wine on top celebrates her flirty, sapphic confidence from “Amo ser solteira e poder cobiçar mulheres solteiras e lindas”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Their timeline is dominated by intense desire, fixation, and a willingness to bend situations toward what they want, which fits Slytherin’s ambition and resourcefulness. They openly plot about their ex in a way that’s more scheming than sentimental, saying “Minha ex ainda tem namorada... vou ter que estar dando um jeito nisso”, and half-jokingly manifesting scenarios like “Queria que a minha ex fosse da pior espécie e terminasse logo, ai eu dormiria com ela por diversão para pode chamar ela de cachorra safada depois, to manifestando em em”. There is also a strong self‑preservation and vengeful edge in tweets such as “Espero que aquele projeto de cobra venenosa se engasgue com próprio veneno” and “Minha ex é uma puta de uma red flag desgraçada mds, smt mano”, indicating someone who catalogues threats and reacts sharply. Even their fandom behavior has a strategic, ride‑or‑die quality, for instance warning, “A todos o ex cps que virarem solo, me deem block, todo dia acho um yobie fã da yoko e da desgraça perdido na minha tl que inferno”, which shows a highly curated, faction-like loyalty typical of Slytherin in-groups. While they care deeply and feel things intensely, the throughline is possessiveness, dramatic loyalty, and a willingness to scheme around relationships and fandoms rather than a simple, open-hearted approach—hallmarks of Slytherin rather than Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, or Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
Back To December - Taylor Swift
A song about not being over an ex, replaying memories, and low-key wanting a second chance fits them perfectly. They openly wonder about reconciliation, asking if their ex will return in “Será que a minha ex volta? Por favor nunca pedi nada” and joking about sabotaging the current relationship in “Minha ex ainda tem namorada... vou ter que estar dando um jeito nisso”. Their bio, “I hate you for making me love you... no matter what”, echoes the song’s theme of painful, lingering affection. They describe themselves as a "victim" of their hyperfocus on the ex in “Nao superei fayeyoko e nem minha ex, ta ficando complicado” and “Eu sou uma vítima do meu hiperfoco na minha ex”, just like the song lingers on regret and what-ifs. Even their half-joking manifestations like “Será que rola uma recaída com a minha ex esse ano ou não vai estar dando???” mirror the desperate wish in the lyrics to rewind time and try again.
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