
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson fits best because she’s an intelligent, intensely self-critical teenager who often turns her pain inward, much like this user’s fixation on perfection and self-punishment. The user’s hyper-analytical, rule-based approach to food and their body – tracking calories to the digit like “947 calories today. I feel so guilty i usually only have 400 600” and obsessing over BMI in “I hate being short because wdym I’m BMI 18.7 at 100.6 lbs??” – mirrors Lisa’s tendency to intellectualize her struggles and measure her worth by performance. Like Lisa, who often feels misunderstood even while surrounded by people, this user shows a lot of hidden distress under a seemingly cheerful tone, joking about their disorders in tweets like “Im a lax abuser, purging warrior and starving champion. I got the whole fucking package deal bro😭😭😭😭”. Their strong emotional intensity in relationships, seen in posts like “I want my boyfriend I’ve been crying all night I just want him back whst the fuck is wrong with me”, echoes Lisa’s deep attachments and big feelings about the people she loves. Finally, despite their self-destructive behaviors, the user shows moments of insight and critique of romanticizing EDs in “People will try to romanticize anorexia when the realities are that you’re now terrified of egg yolks…”, which aligns with Lisa’s capacity for self-awareness and moral clarity even when she’s hurting.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I): their world is centered on internal experiences (urges, guilt, body image, suicidal thoughts) rather than social events, and even when mentioning others it’s usually in relation to their inner state, like craving comfort from their boyfriend in “I wanna cry in my boyfriends arms fuck long distance” rather than talking about group activities. Their focus mixes concrete behaviors with imagined ideals and meanings, fitting Intuition (N) more than pure Sensing: they obsess over weight and numbers but quickly tie them to identity and future fantasies, e.g. “I need to be underweight before 2026 I need to be underweight before 2026…”, and they talk about the romanticized vs reality of anorexia in “People will try to romanticize anorexia when the realities are that you’re now terrified of egg yolks…”, which shows pattern-based reflection. They are clearly Feeling (F)‑oriented: decisions and self‑talk are drenched in emotion, self‑worth, and relationships rather than logic, such as “My boyfriend absolutely LOVES my tummy and thighs… but I hate them so much ughhhhhh fuck this stupid disorder” and repeated suicidal statements when distressed, like “I might genuinely kill myself if I can’t get him back”. On the Judging/Perceiving axis they look more Perceiving (P): they constantly intend structure (fast plans, calorie limits) but repeatedly "lie" or change course impulsively, as in “I lied I ate McDonald’s yesterfay and I had Tim Hortons this morning” and “I lied I fucking binged HARD and only purged once”, showing difficulty sticking to rigid plans. Overall, the combination of intense inner emotional life, value‑driven and idealistic language around their body and relationships, and flexible, often chaotic follow‑through on plans aligns best with INFP rather than a more structured FJ or detail‑fixated SJ type.

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Your new Twitter bio
Fashion-school hopeful at Camp Flog Gnaw, surviving on iced coffee, long-distance love, and too many thoughts. Once showered just to write a poem.– @salemstarve

Your signature cocktail
The espresso with fake-sweet zero-cal vibes is straight from their iced coffee hack and constant fasting/step-count hustle, echoing “if you guys want to start drinking coffee but dont want calories i found the best hack… its super good and is 0 cals” and all the HOW MANY STEPS energy in “HOW MANY STEPS DO I DO TODAY!!!!?!?!??”. A shot of sour cherry liqueur adds that sharp, dark tang for their bulimia/purging spiral and self-destructive humor in “Im a lax abuser, purging warrior and starving champion. I got the whole fucking package deal bro😭😭😭😭”. The saline dash nods to purging, almost fainting, and the physical toll behind the glamorized aesthetic in “People will try to romanticize anorexia when the realities are that you’re now terrified of egg yolks… you feel weak from not eating and more.”. Finally, the vanilla oat milk cloud is the soft, romantic, boyfriend-obsessed part of them in “My boyfriend absolutely LOVES my tummy and thighs… but I hate them so much ughhhhhh” and the long-distance longing of “I wanna cry in my boyfriends arms fuck long distance”, plus the fleeting victory highs like “IM OUT OF BMI 19 JAIL FUCK YSS” floating over everything.

Your Hogwarts House
They consistently show strong attachment and loyalty to loved ones, especially their boyfriend, like when they write about wanting to cry in his arms and struggling intensely after a breakup: “I want my boyfriend I’ve been crying all night I just want him back whst the fuck is wrong with me” and later, “I got back with my bf I’m so happy”. Even while deeply unwell, they show concern for others, as seen in “im actually so concerned for lian i hope he's okay.. Meow doesn't deserve all the hate all because he's a yumeshipper”, which reflects a fairness- and empathy-oriented mindset. Their identity on edtwt is built around consistency and endurance (fasting, step-counting, and detailed tracking), for example: “Steps for today : ) I’m very tired so goodnight everyone” and “Documenting my longest fast so far! (Hopefully atleast 72hrs) A 🧵”, which shows the Hufflepuff traits of persistence and grind, even if in a harmful direction. They also frame themselves as part of a community (#shedtwt, #edtwt) and share tips like “if you guys want to start drinking coffee but dont want calories i found the best hack…”, indicating a cooperative, helping-others orientation. Taken together—loyalty to loved ones, concern for fairness, and a strong, steady work-ethic style of suffering—these fit Hufflepuff more than the sharper ambition of Slytherin or the intellectual focus of Ravenclaw.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑suited song for Salem is Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo, because it captures intense, unstable emotions in relationships alongside deep self-loathing and hurt. They repeatedly tie their mental state to their boyfriend, like when they say “I want my boyfriend I’ve been crying all night I just want him back whst the fuck is wrong with me” and “I might genuinely kill myself if I can’t get him back”, mirroring the song’s fixation on a single person and the pain around them. The song’s themes of feeling betrayed and not enough fit Salem’s body image and self-hatred, seen in posts like “Please just let me lose weight again” and “genuinely i think if i make it over 110 lbs again ill kms”. Their ongoing self-destructive behavior and ambivalence toward recovery, such as calling themself a “lax abuser, purging warrior and starving champion. I got the whole fucking package deal bro”, aligns with the song’s raw, confessional tone. Traitor ultimately reflects the same mix of romantic obsession, emotional volatility, and quiet devastation that runs through their timeline.

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