Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Unique: Their tweets show individuality.
Weaknesses:
- Mysterious: Hard to analyze from limited content.
Your Simpsons character
Comic Book Guy
The user most closely resembles Comic Book Guy: hyper-verbal, opinionated, elitist about niche interests, and often contemptuous of mainstream tastes. Like Comic Book Guy’s pedantic rants, he mocks others’ intellectual habits, e.g. calling it a sign of “incompetence and intellectual indigence” to rely on Wikipedia: “Um traço incompetência e indigência intelectual que se vê até mesmo entre mutuals é recorrer ao Wikipedia para formar opinião sobre um assunto qualquer.”. He shows misanthropic and bigoted streaks that echo Comic Book Guy’s cruelty and superiority complex, as in his comments on poverty being “skill issues” and “Não ser pobre é principalmente uma questão de skill issues” or his sneering at people who like Bad Bunny or carnival: “Fala do Bad Bunny ou pula carnaval: goy incurável”. The self-conscious vanity in his bio (“Vaidoso, vingativo, parcimonioso, carola, invejoso”) and tweets like “modéstia à parte, o admin estava muito gato na missa de hj...” suits Comic Book Guy’s inflated self-regard. His constant, caustic cultural commentary—on politics, music, technology, and religion—fits the archetype of Comic Book Guy sitting behind the counter, issuing harsh, elaborate judgments on everything and everyone.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTJ
They present as introverted (I): repeated references to being incel, panic around the opposite sex, and needing work to distract from loneliness suggest low social energy and aversion to typical socializing, e.g. “Sou o único incel que resta neste site. Se o sexo oposto me dirige a palavra, tenho ataques de pânico.” and “É necessário trabalhar e manter a mente ocupada para que não nos lembremos o quão doloroso é ser incel”. Their focus is highly intuitive (N), gravitating toward abstractions, ideology, and historical-philosophical patterns instead of concrete daily minutiae, as in systemic takes on poverty being “skill issues” “Não ser pobre é principalmente uma questão de skill issues” and civilizational decline via sexuality “O Ocidente acabou quando perderam a vergonha de ser gay…”. They are strongly thinking (T)-oriented: arguments are framed in harsh, logical or pseudo-logical terms with little regard for others’ feelings, e.g. “Os pobres não viveriam melhor se tivessem um salário invejável… Se há infelicidade entre eles é sobretudo por uma questão de skill issues.” and the blunt dismissal of LGBT issues “Drama de incel é em todo caso mais interessante… do que sofrimentos de bicha”. Their tone and content show judging (J) traits: strong categorical moral judgments, clear standards about what is ‘haram’ or acceptable, and prescriptive social blueprints, e.g. proposing a structured abolition plan for social security “Deveria ser feito um plano de abolição do sistema previdenciário…” and strict rules for a kosher home “Em uma casa kosher não se ouve funk nem se vê televisão”. Combining the introversion, abstract and ideological focus, analytical harshness, and preference for clear structure and long-range judgments, INTJ fits best.
Some pickup lines for you
- If even an incel who flees from the opposite sex 'as fast as the devil flees from the cross' can mog a Dolphin Mini, imagine what we could do together if you didn’t run away from me quite so fast.
- You say living in complete indigence is more dignified than living off a sinecure; fortunately for you, I’m ready to invest hard labor and zero state benefits into the full-time job of worshipping you like your own little private Cleitinho chapel.
- You complained that people form opinions from Wikipedia — so I went through your entire timeline instead. My conclusion from this superior source? Brasília may be agradabilíssima, but you’re the only capital I’m interested in occupying.
- If the West ‘ended’ when people stopped being ashamed of being gay, then maybe civilization can be reborn when a vaidoso, vingativo, parcimonioso, carola, invejoso mineiro finally agrees to go out with the one person who actually prefers incel drama to ‘sofrimentos de bicha’.
- You said in a kosher house there’s no funk and no TV — fine by me. Just let me bring Apple Music, some pré‑revolucionárias Iranian songs, a volume of Chateaubriand, and we can sit in Belo Horizonte proving that not being poor really is just a matter of skill issues… in choosing the right mutual to date.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Belo Horizonte-based coder & political contrarian. Incel diarist, Iran watcher, and hater of sinecures—once mogged a Dolphin Mini and never looked back.– @SamuelUsque
Your signature cocktail
Incel Old-Fashioned Crusade
This drink is strong, bitter, and a bit archaic, matching someone who can write that “O Ocidente acabou quando perderam a vergonha de ser gay.” and still sound like he’s cosplaying a medieval chronicler. The overproof rye stands for his harsh, combative conservatism and incel bravado, like when he declares “Sou o único incel que resta neste site.” The Campari/amaro bitterness reflects his vaidoso, vingativo streak and his taste for polemics such as “É espantoso que alguns queiram que o racismo acabe sem abrir mão do comportamento que dá razão ao racismo”. The lapsang souchong syrup adds a smoky, bookish layer, nodding to his literary and historical references like “André Maurois conta que Chateaubriand, desejoso de se ver com George Washington…”. The orange peel is the sharp, elegant wit behind lines such as “Meu critério para fazer amizades é o seguinte: tens a cara simpática, pode entrar; és racista, também entra; escreves no substack, nunca mais fales comigo”. Finally, the dash of saline represents the underlying melancholy and self-mockery in “Tristeza incurável. Impotência intratável.”, pulling all the flavors together into something paradoxically balanced.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
SamuelUsque’s timeline shows a strongly Slytherin temperament: openly elitist, contemptuous, and focused on hierarchy and power rather than harmony. He admires harsh strength and ruthlessness in politics and war, for example by suggesting that social security must be abolished even at the cost of a "rombo inicial nas contas públicas" and insisting that it "terá que ser feito" in “Deveria ser feito um plano de abolição do sistema previdenciário…”. His attitude to out‑groups is aggressive and adversarial, talking about a potential "cruzada contra nações gays" in “Da mesma forma que foi necessária uma cruzada contra países islâmicos…” and asserting that "O Ocidente acabou quando perderam a vergonha de ser gay" in “O Ocidente acabou quando perderam a vergonha de ser gay…”, which fits Slytherin’s us‑vs‑them tribalism at its worst. He consistently sneers at perceived weakness or low status, reducing poverty and success to "skill issues" in “Os pobres não viveriam melhor… Se há infelicidade entre eles é sobretudo por uma questão de skill issues.” and again in “Não ser pobre é principalmente uma questão de skill issues”. Even his approach to enemies is vindictive and strategic rather than forgiving or fair, wishing that his enemies "sejam fustigados de todas as maneiras" in “Aos amigos, saúde e felicidade. Aos inimigos, que sejam fustigados de todas as maneiras…” and advising, "Aos teus inimigos constrange com uma delicadeza extremada" in “Aos teus inimigos constrange com uma delicadeza extremada.”. This mixture of hardness, elitism, and ruthless concern with winning social and ideological battles aligns far more with Slytherin than with the values of the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones
A fitting song for @SamuelUsque is “Sympathy for the Devil” because it pairs urbane erudition with deliberate provocation, much like his own tone. The narrator in the song is suave, literate, and cruelly observant, echoing tweets that mix culture and polemic such as “André Maurois conta que Chateaubriand, desejoso de se ver com George Washington…” and “Para ouvir o E. Michael Jones é preciso antes pegar papel e caneta…”. There is also a gleeful, punitive streak in both, visible when he writes “Aos amigos, saúde e felicidade. Aos inimigos, que sejam fustigados de todas as maneiras e debaixo deste Céu não possam ter repouso algum.” and “laetabitur iustus cum viderit vindictam, manus suas lavabit in sanguine peccatoris”. The song’s blend of historical allusions and sardonic commentary matches tweets like “A opinião pública global inteira se voltou contra as Falanges libanesas depois de Sabra e Shatila…” and his fascination with conflict in places like Irã and Israel. Finally, his self-description as “vaidoso, vingativo” and his theatrical disdain for modern mores – for instance “O Ocidente acabou quando perderam a vergonha de ser gay.” – align well with the song’s persona: charming, vindictive, and intent on exposing what he sees as the decadence of the age.
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