sardineNaCl
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Mike's rebellious and impulsive nature mirrors Bart Simpson. Stealing a petri dish ('just stole a petri dish, yk what that means.,.,. new ashtray !!!!!!!') is classic Bart mischief. His dark humor, like 'may whoever is up in the sky fucking shoot me in the head 30 times please,' aligns with Bart's tendency to mask emotions with jokes. Both are chaotic yet endearing in their struggles.

Your MBTI personality Type
Mike's introspective and emotionally driven tweets, such as 'im genuinly starting to fucking hate eating every time i eat i wanna puke,' point to an INFP personality. His creativity ('just stole a petri dish, yk what that means.,.,. new ashtray !!!!!!!') and deep connection to music and art ('i fucking love deftones idgaf ab ppl that say thats basic ts slaps') reflect the idealism and passion of this type. However, his struggles with self-worth and dark humor ('i made so many im gonna kms jokes that my friends dont even worry no more bro') show the emotional depth and sensitivity typical of INFPs.

Some pickup lines for you

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Your new Twitter bio
Mike (he/him) | Shedtwt survivor, horror fan, and deftones enthusiast | Turning petri dishes into ashtrays and chaos into coping mechanisms | ADHD-fueled sarcasm meets dark humor | 🥩🦴– @sardineNaCl

Your signature cocktail
The 'Bleeding Angel' reflects Mike's dark yet vibrant personality. The vodka symbolizes his raw, unfiltered honesty ('jus bought new razors so killing myself is postponed'), while the pomegranate juice and blackberry syrup represent his depth and struggles. Lime juice adds a tangy edge, like his sharp humor ('i hate this school but panic at the disco makes it better'). The dry ice creates a haunting, gothic vibe, perfectly matching his aesthetic.

Your Hogwarts House
Mike's resourcefulness and cunning, like turning a stolen petri dish into an ashtray ('just stole a petri dish, yk what that means.,.,. new ashtray !!!!!!!'), align with Slytherin traits. His self-preservation instincts, despite his struggles, also fit. However, his darker tendencies and sarcastic humor, such as 'i made so many im gonna kms jokes that my friends dont even worry no more bro,' further cement his Slytherin placement. He's ambitious in his own unique way, even if it's not conventional.

Your movie

Your song
The raw emotion and themes of self-destruction in 'Hurt' align with Mike's tweets, such as 'im gonna cut myself open and eat my organs.' The song's haunting lyrics about pain and regret mirror his struggles with self-harm ('playing around w my new blade and bam huge fatass cut') and mental health. It's a poignant anthem for his emotional state.

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