
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They read as a very online, politically aware, left-leaning kid, which lines up most closely with Lisa Simpson. They constantly call out right‑wing rhetoric and bigotry, like in “South park has always been political dummy” and “No one hates free speech. Say whatever you want, doesnt mean there won't be consequences… Republicans hate everyone but fellow white cishet republican men”, echoing Lisa’s tendency to challenge conservative or ignorant views. They’re outspoken on social issues, defending queer people, disabled people, and kink/paraphilic disorders as a concept, as in “YES guys when I say I advocate for disorders and disabilities I also mean paraphilic disorders!!!!” and “'Trans people are preds/groomers!!' If you say ts I know youre hiding something.”. At the same time, there’s a lot of vulnerability and self-directed harshness (edtwt, body image, feeling sick/ignored) like “Im alarmingly fat 😞” and “Im sick but I dont look sick enough for anyone to care”, which fits Lisa’s mix of intelligence, activism, and emotional struggle. Their sarcastic, sometimes dark humor, such as “We are the DUMBEST SPECIES EVER”, also fits Lisa’s exasperated view of humanity more than any other main Simpson.

Your MBTI personality Type
They present as more introverted (I) than extroverted: their social world is mostly online and small (73 following / 69 followers), and even when referencing others, it’s through parasocial or niche contexts like “All my oomfs are my friends because I saids so..ok?” rather than descriptions of big in‑person social events. Their bio literally labels themselves as ISTP, and their tweets back this up with a detached, observational tone. They lean toward sensing (S) because they constantly reference concrete, sensory experiences—food, weight, physical pain, and small daily events—like “Just ate an apple turnover thay was fucking disgusting I feel” and “My side and elbows hurt so bad am I dying”, instead of abstract theories for their own sake. Yet they still show enough pattern recognition to argue about political or social issues, which fits the pragmatic, here-and-now focus of an ST type more than a strongly intuitive type. Their style is clearly thinking (T) over feeling: they argue in a blunt, analytical way about politics, identity, and ethics, often calling people out directly, e.g. “Transgenderism is literally just not identifying with the commonly correlated gender to your sex. Are you ok dawg” and “By telling people how to cut deeper you are further worsening them… aiding them in getting worse is morally incorrect and makes you weird and an asshole”. Even when discussing sensitive topics (self-harm, paraphilic disorders), they frame it in terms of logic and ethics rather than pure emotional appeals, like “YES guys when I say I advocate for disorders and disabilities I also mean paraphilic disorders!!!!”. They seem more perceiving (P) than judging: their life appears unstructured and spontaneous, reflected in impulsive food choices (“Im eating brownies who want”), inconsistent self-image (“Ugh FUCK IT im going back to being the Simon Riley of edtwt I'll go back to myserion later”), and a general lack of long-term planning beyond vague goals like “Im..im gonna keep binging until the summer..ok?”. There’s little evidence of structured schedules or step-by-step plans; instead, they react in the moment and frequently change course or rant as things come up. Putting this together—introverted, sensory-grounded, bluntly logical, and spontaneous—the best MBTI match is ISTP.

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Your new Twitter bio
Canadian teen • he/hym • turns politics, fandom & food takes into mini essays. Once slipped on ice because I was too busy watching bunnies.– @ScarewareDollie

Your signature cocktail
This drink starts with a dark chocolate milk-wash cut with plain milk, because they literally ask how people drink it straight: “Genuinely how do people drink straight chocolate milk without washing the sweetness down by making it mostly plain”, so the base has to be sweet but toned down. A hit of Brisk lemon iced tea nods to their self-deprecating humor about scars and identity: “If you scan my wrists i ring up for brisk iced tea”. Sour cherry liqueur captures the mix of gorey, pro-recovery moralizing and edginess, like when they criticise harmful behavior on edtwt: “By telling people how to cut deeper you are further worsening them… aiding them in getting worse is morally incorrect and makes you weird and an asshole”. A dash of absinthe represents their sharp, unapologetically political and queer stance, seen in takes like “Transgenderism is literally just not identifying with the commonly correlated gender to your sex. Are you ok dawg” and “Bitches b like 'im pro censorship!!' Thinking it means anti predator n shit when its actually anti poc, queer, etc. Etc.”. Finally, a sparkling apple soda topper pays homage to their constant, chaotic hunger and apple fixation: “Im always hungry enough for an apple🤤I fuckinglove” and the tragic pastry moment: “Just ate an apple turnover thay was fucking disgusting I feel”, giving the cocktail a bright, fizzy finish over the dark humor underneath.

Your Hogwarts House
They consistently show a strong tendency to loudly stand up for their beliefs, even when those views are controversial or invite backlash, which is very characteristic of Gryffindor. For example, they openly defend fictional dark content and paraphilic disorders from moral panic with posts like “YES guys when I say I advocate for disorders and disabilities I also mean paraphilic disorders!!!!” and “'WHY DO YOU FOLLOW PROSHIPPERS!!' I DONT CARE WHAT PEOPLE DO IF ITS NOT HURTING ANYONE REAL🥹”, which shows a readiness to take social risks to protect what they see as principled positions. They also confront reactionary rhetoric directly and bluntly, as seen in “South park has always been political dummy”, “Bitches b like 'im pro censorship!!' Thinking it means anti predator n shit when its actually anti poc, queer, etc. Etc.”, and “'Trans people are preds/groomers!!' If you say ts I know youre hiding something.”. Their tone is impulsive, confrontational, and often framed as defending others (queer people, disabled people, darkshippers) against perceived injustice, which tracks more with Gryffindor’s bold moral crusading than with Slytherin’s strategic self‑interest. Even their joking hyperbole like “French is the dumbest language ever we need to kill French people” and politically charged memes such as “We are Charlie Kirk we carry the flame we fight for the gospel we honour his name” show a dramatic, performative bravado rather than quiet calculation. Overall, the pattern is someone who leads with raw conviction and willingness to fight, which is quintessentially Gryffindor.

Your movie

Your song
A well‑known song that fits them best is Teenagers by My Chemical Romance, because it captures angry, sarcastic teenage frustration with the world and authority. They openly talk about being a minor and navigating heavy topics with dark humor, like “Can people stop raping me omg guys. How many times do I have to be violated for yall to be happy” and “By telling people how to cut deeper you are further worsening them…”, which mirrors the song’s theme of vulnerable youth pushed around by a hostile society. Their sharp political takes and anti‑bigotry rants, such as “Bitches b like 'im pro censorship!!' Thinking it means anti predator n shit when its actually anti poc, queer, etc. Etc.” and “No one hates free speech. Say whatever you want, doesnt mean there won't be consequences.”, line up with the song’s rebellious, anti‑establishment energy. They also blend self‑deprecation and body angst with humor, like “Im alarmingly fat 😞” and “My scale said im 0.1kg am I...#bestana ..?”, which resonates with the song’s depiction of messy, insecure teenage headspace. Overall, their mix of morbid jokes, political awareness, and adolescent rage matches the loud, confrontational spirit of Teenagers.

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