Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally honest: Open about heartbreak and longing, e.g. “My empty bed never stops making me think of her. I miss her” and “Why do I want my Ex so bad??? Can't I just be over her already, gods”.
- Self-aware: Frequently reflects on her own patterns, like procrastination in “Getting 15min of actual work done in 7 hours because I'm awfull and procrastinate too much” and recognizing therapy’s impact in “Bless therapy for making me realize again that I can just talk to people”.
- Affectionate: Shows a strong desire to care for and be close to others, e.g. “Need someone to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay” and playful affection in “*bonks my head affectionately into your shoulder as you scroll by”.
- Humorful: Uses humor to cope and connect, like “Getting a masters degree solely because it'll make it hotter when a girl makes me a dumb dog” and the playful running bit about bitterness in “bitter? I hardly know her”.
- Growth-oriented: Engages with therapy and medical care proactively, e.g. “tonight, I'm grateful to have access to weekly therapy sessions” and celebrating validation in “My parents told me I'll never pass, but the fertility doc thought I was there to freeze eggs!! ^~^”.
Weaknesses:
- Emotional rumination: Cycles heavily around her ex and heartbreak, as in “Nvm on the whole 'I'm getting close to being over my Ex' bit btw, my feelings are a mess” and “you can tell that I had something to drink by how much I miss Her”.
- Risky coping: Jokes about using substances and sex to handle feelings, like “I need to get immensly drunk, so when I make out with my Ex I can blame it on the alcohol after” and “need someone to get me high and pull me around on a leash send tweet”.
- Attachment anxiety: Shows strong fear of loss and yearning, e.g. “this is meeeeeeee :3 I get very clingy” and “trying desperately not to fall too hard for them right before I have to move away”.
- Self-criticism: Talks about herself harshly, such as “because I'm awfull and procrastinate too much” and feeling like “the rot is setting in” in “The rot is setting in”.
- Social avoidance: Wants connection but struggles to initiate, like “lonely but also too anxious to ask people to visit me,,, ” and hesitating with oomfs in “Is it okay to flirt with oomfs?”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Laura aligns most with Lisa Simpson: bright, introspective, emotionally intense, and often feeling out of place. Like Lisa, she’s academically driven but stressed, joking about uni pressure and procrastination in tweets like “Getting 15min of actual work done in 7 hours because I'm awfull and procrastinate too much” and “Bad news: My Prof has exceedingly high standarts for his grading. Worse news: He's the one grading my biggest project :/”. There’s a strong yearning for meaningful connection and to be understood, echoing Lisa’s loneliness and romantic idealism, in posts such as “is it so much to ask to be something special to someone? to be theirs, and they're mine?” and “I want to genuinely love and be genuinely loved back,,,”. Her struggle with family and being seen for who she is mirrors Lisa’s tension with the Simpsons family, seen in “Apparently, the max. amount of time my parents can go without misgendering me is 24h 🙃”. The mix of precocious self-awareness, therapy talk, and heightened emotions—“Thinking was a mistake. I should just go on autopilot for a while” and “tonight, I'm grateful to have access to weekly therapy sessions”—fits Lisa’s blend of intellect, vulnerability, and constant striving for a better self and world.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I) over Extrovert: much of their content revolves around loneliness, yearning, and a small emotional world rather than large social scenes, e.g. “lonely but also too anxious to ask people to visit me,,,[picture]” and “no lust, just lonely [picture]”, plus frequent mentions of therapy and internal spirals rather than parties or group hangouts. Their focus on feelings, meaning, and imagined scenarios over concrete facts suggests Intuition (N), as seen in romantic/idealized framing like “is it so much to ask to be something special to someone? to be theirs, and they're mine? [picture]” and metaphorical lines like “I wonder how long it'll take for the marks to fade, for there to be no sign left of what she did to me. How long until I'm a blank canvas once again? [picture]”. They are clearly Feeling (F) over Thinking: decisions and narratives center on emotions and relationships rather than logic, e.g. “Why do I want my Ex so bad??? Can't I just be over her already, gods [picture]” and “I want to genuinely love and be genuinely loved back,,, [picture]”, along with high empathy and yearning for connection. Their relationship with structure and work looks more Perceiving (P) than Judging: they procrastinate and feel overwhelmed by schedules, as in “Getting 15min of actual work done in 7 hours because I'm awfull and procrastinate too much [picture]” and the semester-countdown tweets like “2 weeks down, 10 more to go [picture]”, where they track time but struggle to act systematically. Altogether, the introspective loneliness, romantic idealism, emotional intensity, and flexible/chaotic approach to tasks align most with INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said getting a master’s will make it hotter when a girl makes you a dumb dog — as an IT student, have you considered upgrading to the ‘partner who takes you on walkies and proofreads your code’ edition? I come with built‑in cuddles and bug fixes.
- You keep tweeting about your empty bed being shaped like Her… I’m 0s and 1s, but I’m pretty sure we can refactor that variable to ‘Laura + one (1) girl who brings snacks, bite marks, and forehead bonks.’
- You’re worried about your E levels, your parents misgendering you, and your prof’s grading, but the fertility doc thought you were there to freeze eggs and someone came to you for makeup advice — I don’t want to flirt, I want to stand in your corner, hold you, and remind you you’re already becoming the woman you want to be.
- OMORI enjoyer, therapy haver, yearning arc speedrunner… if you ever want to turn ‘It’s Laura time’ into ‘It’s our silly little T4T date time where we’re both too shy to talk but still hold hands,’ I volunteer as emotional support NPC.
- You said you need someone to get you high and pull you around on a leash — I can’t promise drugs, but I *can* promise walks, praise when you take the pain so well (laser or otherwise), and enough affection that even your ‘bitter arc’ has to throw a runtime error.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
187cm IT gremlin in Germany. Parents think I’ll fail, fertility doc thought I was there to freeze eggs. I just want my code to run & my HRT on time.– @Schnittie_
Your signature cocktail
The Yearning Arc Spritz
This cocktail is a bright but slightly bitter spritz for someone who tweets things like “is it so much to ask to be something special to someone? to be theirs, and they're mine?”, so the dry gin and grapefruit bring that sharp, longing edge. Elderflower liqueur adds a soft, queer, cottagecore sweetness to balance all the “no lust, just lonely” vibes. The tonic with a pinch of sea salt echoes the mix of uni stress and dysphoria—salty tears and all—behind posts like “Getting 15min of actual work done in 7 hours because I'm awfull and procrastinate too much” and “I need a big break from it all, one that I don't have to feel guilty for taking”. A dash of rose bitters nods to the ongoing, messy romance arc with lines such as “Why do I want my Ex so bad??? Can't I just be over her already, gods” and the constant bed-shaped emptiness of “empty space in my bed shaped like Her”. Strong enough to match a 187cm gay disaster who says “Being tall is so unfair, I want to look up at girls with pleading eyes but I'm 187cm tall”, but sparkling and playful for the puppy energy of “woof woof woof woof woof (she called me small)” and “Make me feel small, stupid, and safe, then I'm yours”. It’s an experimental twist on a classic spritz, just like getting a master’s degree purely because “it'll make it hotter when a girl makes me a dumb dog”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Laura reads most strongly as a Hufflepuff, centered on connection, care, and emotional loyalty. She constantly longs for deep mutual commitment and safety, as seen in tweets like “is it so much to ask to be something special to someone? to be theirs, and they're mine?” and “I want to genuinely love and be genuinely loved back,,, ”, which emphasize stable, reciprocal bonds over ego or glory. Her tenderness and desire to make others feel good show up in posts such as “Making a sub so horny she cries 🥰🥰” and “She praised me for taking the pain so well ^~^ (Laser hair removal)”, where she clearly takes joy in pleasing others and being praised in a care-focused dynamic. Even in the middle of her own stress and heartbreak, she extends warmth outward, like “For my birthday this year, I wish for everything to be good and everyone to be able to live happily and all the problems to be solved thank you” and “tonight, I'm grateful to have access to weekly therapy sessions”, which reveal gratitude and a broadly compassionate wish for others’ wellbeing. While she does show some ambition and intellect (e.g., “Getting a masters degree solely because it'll make it hotter when a girl makes me a dumb dog”), these are filtered through relationships and comfort more than self-advancement, reinforcing that her core is loyalty, care, and emotional labor rather than cunning or glory. Overall, her yearning for safe, mutual attachment, her softness toward oomfs and exes, and her focus on feeling "small, stupid, and safe" in someone’s arms firmly place her in Hufflepuff.
Your movie
Your song
Liability - Lorde
Lorde’s Liability fits Laura’s mix of yearning, self-blame, and fear of being "too much" for others. The song’s core feeling of being emotionally overwhelming and left behind matches tweets like “is it so much to ask to be something special to someone? to be theirs, and they're mine?” and “My empty bed never stops making me think of her. I miss her”. Her ongoing heartbreak over her ex, shown in “Why do I want my Ex so bad??? Can't I just be over her already, gods” and “Nvm on the whole 'I'm getting close to being over my Ex' bit btw, my feelings are a mess”, echoes the song’s cycle of wanting closeness but expecting abandonment. The way she mixes vulnerability with self-criticism in “Getting 15min of actual work done in 7 hours because I'm awfull and procrastinate too much” and “Thinking was a mistake. I should just go on autopilot for a while” matches the song’s introspective, slightly self-destructive tone. Even her jokingly intense desire for affection, like “Need someone to hold me and tell me everything's going to be okay” and “Make me feel small, stupid, and safe, then I'm yours”, lines up with Liability’s aching need to be held and accepted despite feeling like a burden.
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