Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware humor: Frequently jokes at his own expense, like calling himself wrong most of the time in “estou errado 99% das vezes” and mocking his study habits in “temos que parar de beber e focar nos estudos mano”.
- Emotionally expressive: Openly talks about fears, disappointments, and affection, as in “todos os medos e inseguranças um dia serão só risadas ao vento” and “vontade absurda de falar que amo meus amigos”.
- Artistic sensibility: Shows strong interest in music, films, and games, praising albums and movies like in “bizarro que as duas maiores musicas de todos os tempos estão nsse album” and calling Red Dead 2 the best game in “todos eles estavam certos red dead 2 é o melhor jogo da historia”.
- Loyal friend: Values friendships and shared experiences, such as drinking in the rain with a friend in “tua primeira saida dps da sua viagem é tomar chuva com seu mano isso que é vida” and missing a mutual in “aquela mutual que morreu e o twitter nunca mais foi o msm”.
- Observant critic: Sharp at noticing and commenting on everyday absurdities, like mocking ‘custo benefício’ phones in “manos do youtube vão fazer um video sobre celulares custo beneficio e colocar a porra de um celular de 3 mil reais” and calling out bad app design in “aplicativo da shein é feito pra quem ta com o cerebro corroído pelo tiktok”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive talk: Makes repeated references to suicide and self-harm, as in “pensando em cometer SUICIDIO essa noite” and “eles não vão entender nada quando eu beber e pular da sacada”.
- Harsh language: Uses aggressive and offensive wording frequently, for example “porra vai tomar no cu pq toda rede social…” and “ae vai tomar na porra do seu cu ai”.
- Cynical resentment: Shows strong envy and spite toward others’ success, like “torcendo muito pelo mal desse cara não quero ver o sucesso dele de jeito nenhum” and enjoying a ‘verme’ working in a supermarket in “sensação muito boa de ver aquele mano que era um verme trabalhando em supermercado”.
- Escapist habits: Leans heavily on alcohol and games as coping mechanisms, seen in tweets about drinking then needing to sober up in “caralho mlk tenho que ficar sobrio em aproximadamente 30 segundos” and obsessively buying/playing games like in “deus tira essa vontade de gastar todo meu dinheiro na steam”.
- Negative body-mind care: Shows disregard for basic self-care, such as not eating all day in “não comi nada o dia inteiro estou me alimentando apenas do rancor” and wishing for illness in “tossindo muito aqui torcendo pra ser tuberculose”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
The user’s mix of chaotic humor, swearing, and irreverence aligns most closely with Bart Simpson. They constantly rant about tech and systems in a bratty way, like complaining that every social network has some random button that ruins things: “porra vai tomar no cu pq toda rede social tem algum botão que vc aperta sem querer e faz um bglh que vc não quer vai se fuder” and raging at bureaucracy in “eu desisto de me alistar o site dos cara simplesmente não funciona que porra é essa”. Their dark, exaggerated melodrama — e.g. “pensando em cometer SUICIDIO essa noite” and “eles não vão entender nada quando eu beber e pular da sacada” — comes off more like edgy, performative angst than quiet Lisa-style introspection. They also flex a cocky, prankster confidence, like “eu=inteligente eles=burros” and mocking others’ tastes in film and music, very in line with Bart’s smug, trolling streak. At the same time, there’s a vulnerable side under the bravado, visible in posts about drinking alone and disappointment, such as “um casal fazendo graça do meu lado e eu tomando vinho sozinho essa é a história da minha vida”, which mirrors Bart’s occasional lonely, sensitive moments behind the clowning.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
They come off as more introverted (I) than extroverted: there’s a strong focus on solitary experiences like drinking alone (“um casal fazendo graça do meu lado e eu tomando vinho sozinho essa é a história da minha vida”) and staying in, along with dark, inward-facing thoughts (“indo dormir e torcendo muito para que eu não acorde mais tarde”). Their humor and interests show clear intuition (N): they gravitate toward media/ideas that are conceptual or emotionally existential, like film and anime analyses (“quando tu assiste um filme que te bota pra pensar de maneira diferente...”) and dramatic meta-comparisons (“2025 foi só o pre gozo eles vão se assustar quando ver a porra toda🔥🔥”), rather than concrete, practical life talk. Their tone is very thinking (T): blunt, cutting, often critical and logic‑oriented, e.g. mocking others’ opinions (“manos fazem pronunciamentos politicos como se alguem quisesse saber a opinião do jonas de carapicuiba”) and taking pride in being “right” or smarter than others (“eu=inteligente eles=burros”). Finally, they seem strongly perceiving (P): they embrace spontaneity and chaos in habits (“sempre que eu bebo e acordo no dia seguinte meu quarto está extremamente bagunçado parece que teve um assassinato aqui”) and procrastinate or drift instead of planning (“quando vc quer estudar mas de repente aparece o video mais interessante da historia no youtube”). Combining introversion, abstract/ironic worldview, analytical harshness, and laid‑back disorganization, INTP fits best for @scumfkflwrboy.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’re ‘feeding only on the rancor in your soul’—mind if I take you out for food so your hatred has to share space with good wine and my terrible jokes?
- You’ll pirate every indie game until they’re 90% off, but I’m offering myself day one, full price, zero DRM—wanna co‑op a turn‑based RPG date?
- If every fear and insecurity will one day be ‘just laughs in the wind’, let me be the idiot next to you on that windy day, laughing, holding your Clairo playlist and a bottle of wine.
- You call Red Dead 2 the most beautiful game ever and worship Fujimoto—statistically speaking, someone with that taste has a 99% chance of falling for the person recommending ‘just one more movie’ from their Letterboxd watchlist. Want to test that theory with me?
- You’re ‘too old for this shit’, going to bed hoping you don’t wake up, screaming ‘JARVIS turn off the monitor’ at 1:30 a.m.—how about instead we stay up obscenely late talking about JJK, The Smiths and A$AP Rocky until you secretly hope the night never ends?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Film nerd, JRPG enjoyer & Red Dead 2 truther. Once tried to study, discovered ‘the most interesting video on YouTube’ instead. Opinions are my own.– @scumfkflwrboy
Your signature cocktail
Everything Quiet But the Negroni
The cachaça with black coffee is his Brazilian, slightly chaotic core, running on insomnia and overthinking, echoing the vibe of “i don't sleep i Just dream” and “não comi nada o dia inteiro estou me alimentando apenas do rancor que reside na minha alma”. Campari brings that bitter, foul-mouthed edge that shows up when he rants about apps and life like “porra vai tomar no cu pq toda rede social tem algum botão que vc aperta sem querer e faz um bglh que vc não quer vai se fuder” and “the witcher 3 ta trinta conto na epic mas eu me recuso a comprar um jogo nesse launcher de merda”. Sweet vermouth is the hidden softness, the guy who drinks wine alone yet still feels everything deeply in “um casal fazendo graça do meu lado e eu tomando vinho sozinho essa é a história da minha vida” and cries to music in “chorando muito aqui ouvindo the smiths”. The saline dash represents the tears, sweat, and a bit of self-loathing humor behind lines like “pensando em cometer SUICIDIO essa noite” and “eles não vão entender nada quando eu beber e pular da sacada”, turning that darkness into something complex instead of just edgy. Finally, the charred orange peel is the burnt-out but still shining film-and-anime nerd who finds beauty in chaos, from “deus amado red dead 2 é o jogo mais lindo da historia” to “temporada nova de jjk esta linda que coisa incrivel”, because for him, everything’s quiet but the music—and the drink hits just as loud.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Kauan’s timeline shows a strong mix of self-preservation, bitterness, and sharp, almost weaponized humor that fits Slytherin best. He repeatedly embraces spite and rancor as fuel, like when he says he’s been fasting and is “feeding only on the rancor that resides in my soul” “não comi nada o dia inteiro estou me alimentando apenas do rancor que reside na minha alma” and openly roots for someone’s failure: “cheering a lot for this guy’s harm, I don’t want to see his success at all, it makes me sick just to think about it”. There’s also a strong ambition/ego streak in how he talks about himself: he boasts that his humor is superior to everyone else’s “I like to see my likes on every social network and think how my sense of humor is better than everyone else’s”, and frames 2025 as just the “pre-cum” before he really shocks everyone “2025 was just the pre cum they’re going to be scared when they see the whole load🔥🔥”. His willingness to pirate games instead of paying full price “for me every indie game should have a 90% discount until then I’ll pirate them all” shows a pragmatic, ends-justify-the-means approach. While he has flashes of melancholy and self-deprecation, the dominant pattern is a sardonic, ambitious, self-focused survival instinct, which aligns most closely with Slytherin’s core traits.
Your movie
Your song
The Perfect Girl - Mareux
A song that best fits them is The Perfect Girl by Mareux – dark, dreamy, internet-poisoned and a bit self-destructive, just like their timeline. They constantly mix irony with genuine despair, like when they say they’re “indo dormir e torcendo muito para que eu não acorde mais tarde” and later admit “pensando em cometer SUICIDIO essa noite”, which echoes the song’s detached, fatalistic romanticism. Their vibe is late-night, chronically online, and depressive-humorous: they’re “chorando muito aqui ouvindo the smiths” yet still posting memes about games, anime, and cinema. Like the track’s cold-wave aesthetic, they oscillate between arrogant detachment (“eu=inteligente eles=burros”) and deep insecurity (“todos os medos e inseguranças um dia serão só risadas ao vento”). The song feels like something they’d have looping at 3 a.m. while scrolling, tweeting lines like “i don't sleep i Just dream” and overthinking their whole life.
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