
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They most closely match Lisa Simpson, who is sensitive, introspective, intelligent, and often feels isolated and misunderstood in her own family. Like Lisa, they are highly self-aware and philosophical, shown in posts like “I fantasize about doing good for the world but I can’t get out of bed” and “To be or not to be’ okay after reading the actual soliloquy I’m no longer suicidal cause Hamlet you lowkey have a point”. Their academic side and AP classes echo Lisa’s gifted-student vibe, as seen in “I got new seats in AP lit, I sit alone at a table THIS TEACHER LOVES ME” and “math and history”. The painful dynamic with their family strongly parallels Lisa’s sense of neglect and longing for maternal attention: “I miss my mommy. I want her to notice me too I see her everyday but she doesn’t even look at me” and “Mommmm pls notice meeee I’m your daughter tooooo”. At the same time, they are deeply loving and idealistic in relationships, much like Lisa’s big heart, as seen in “I could love so well but nobody even gives me the opportunity to love them” and “I am love personified”.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I): most content is about inner feelings, crushes, and family rather than group activities, e.g. “I want to go to the living room and yk live in my own home but my sister is lurking there so I can’t” and “irl is asleep when we have an assembly at school today so I have to find a seat and sit alone oh god someone kill me”, showing social anxiety and preference for familiar people over crowds. Their strong focus on meaning, ideals, and imagined futures suggests Intuition (N): they fantasize and interpret life in symbolic terms, like “I dream of having no face for ppl to look at my head and js see the void” and “I fantasize about doing good for the world but I can’t get out of bed”. They clearly prioritize emotions and relationships over logic, fitting Feeling (F): they describe themselves as love-centered in “I am love personified”, are deeply affected by their crush and family (“I could love so well but nobody even gives me the opportunity to love them”; “I miss my mommy. I want her to notice me too”), and often frame issues in moral/emotional terms like “ppl are cruel”. Their life looks spontaneous and emotionally driven rather than structured, pointing to Perceiving (P): they struggle with planning, school fatigue, and impulsive choices (fasting, skipping meals, skipping school) as in “got to skip having a meal entirely today 😛😛😛”, “I skipped school today 😛😛oh yeaaaa”, and “I plan to js live as freely as possible then kms it’s the perfect plan!!!!”. Altogether, this blend of intense inner emotional life, idealism, romanticism, and lack of rigid structure is most consistent with INFP.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
AP Lit kid, doll-in-progress. Once read Hamlet and postponed my existential crisis. Coffee, manga, Shakira, and praying my crush makes the first move.– @sebastian071625

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail starts with black coffee–infused vodka for their sharp, no-nonsense taste and insomnia brain, inspired by “I only like black coffee but I love almost all teas” and all those late-night spiral tweets. Honey liqueur brings out the soft, clingy romantic in them who says “I could love so well but nobody even gives me the opportunity to love them” and “I am love personified”. Watermelon juice with chili salt is sweet-but-itchy chaos, a nod to “watermelon makes my mouth itchy” and the way everything they like seems to hurt a little. Rose tea is for the fragile, doll-like softness of “I want to be akin to a doll” and their longing for tenderness, even while talking about cutting and fasting like in “cutting myself makes me feel better abt how bad im doing at life” and “got to skip having a meal entirely today 😛😛😛”. The dash of edible glitter is their dramatic, hopeful side that still flirts with life and crushes despite everything, from “I want to love someone so badly” to the endless crush prayers like “can yall pray my crush likes me”. Strong but sweet, a little self-destructive, and very pretty in the glass—just like their timeline.

Your Hogwarts House
Sebastian is driven far more by attachment and care for others than by ambition or intellect, which points strongly to Hufflepuff. They describe themselves as deeply loving and touch-oriented, saying “a pet peeve abt myself is I can never hate ppl for long” and “I am love personified”, which reflects Hufflepuff’s core of warmth and emotional loyalty rather than flashy bravery or calculated strategy. Their longing to care for and connect with people comes through in tweets like “I could love so well but nobody even gives me the opportunity to love them” and “I have few favoomfs but I love them sm I would probably have kms without them”, showing that relationships and loyalty are central to their identity. Even when deeply hurt, they continue to wish others well, as with “I hope my oomfs all have wealth and health and are happy in their near future”, which is very Hufflepuff: steadfast kindness in spite of personal pain. While they have moments of dark humor and impulsive emotion, the consistent throughline is a soft-hearted, relational, loyal nature rather than the ambition of Slytherin, the cerebral bent of Ravenclaw, or the outward-facing daring of Gryffindor.

Your movie

Your song
A song that fits them best is human by Christina Perri, because it captures the tension between wanting to be endlessly loving and strong while quietly falling apart. They describe themself as intensely loving, saying “I am love personified” and “I could love so well but nobody even gives me the opportunity to love them”, which mirrors the song’s theme of giving everything to others. At the same time, they’re exhausted and overwhelmed, writing “all I do all the time is cry my eyes hurt” and “I feel like I’m upset all the time and it’s making me really tired”, much like the chorus’s confession of breaking down when alone. Their struggles with self-harm and suicidal thoughts, such as “cutting myself makes me feel better abt how bad im doing at life” and “I plan to js live as freely as possible then kms”, echo the song’s vulnerability about reaching a breaking point. Even their family pain—like “I miss my mommy. I want her to notice me too” and “mother attempting suicide in front of me”—fits the song’s core idea: they are trying so hard to function, love, and cope, but underneath, they’re just human and deeply hurt.

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