
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
They read as a very self-aware, chaotic but fundamentally warm Homer. They constantly narrate small bodily miseries and comforts with dark humor, like complaining about stomach and bathroom issues and then turning it into routine and creativity (e.g. using shower + toilet time as an idea engine in “quando eu preciso de um boom de criatividade eu alinho a rotina pra que eu possa cagar + tomar um banho longo…”), which mirrors Homer’s mix of physicality, laziness and odd moments of inspiration. Like Homer, they oscillate between feeling useless or defeated and then suddenly proud or victorious, as in “dormi a tarde toda. fui inutil… consegui terminar minha introdução de proposta da tese… no fim vencemos.” and “sexta feira com algumas vitórias poucas derrotas um bom 57% de aproveitamento”. There’s also a very Homer-ish emotional core: they love food and little pleasures (“hoje comi o melhor korean bbq que eu já comi na minha vida”), adore their family (“eu sou o tio mais feliz do mundo”), and get dramatically annoyed at minor social irritations, from classmates’ behavior to internet strangers, in an over-the-top comedic way. Finally, their mix of pop-culture obsession, procrastination, and unexpectedly deep self-reflection about work, fear of not being enough, and getting older (“eu to sendo muito burro e irresponsável… mas tenho medo de nunca ser o suficiente pqp”) fits Homer’s archetype as a flawed but big-hearted adult constantly stumbling through life and still somehow moving forward.

Your MBTI personality Type
They show clear Extraverted tendencies: they thrive on sharing daily experiences, feelings, and jokes with an audience (e.g., “3 brasileiro rindo no fundo do onibus e levamo mijada duma chinesa pqp” and the long, chatty reflections like “quando eu preciso de um boom de criatividade eu alinho a rotina pra que eu possa cagar + tomar um banho longo… sempre funciona”). Their thinking is strongly Intuitive: they quickly jump from concrete events to broader patterns, metaphors, and future possibilities, such as framing a year as "meta" and turning life into narratives (“minha vida é uma piada de coincidências”, “to construindo e montando meu magnum opus por amor minha capela sistina”). They lean Feeling over Thinking: although they can be harsh and sarcastic (e.g., “deveria cortar cana no gulag canavieiro”), their core concerns are relational and emotional—worrying about being “sufficient,” being moved by friends and mutuals, and expressing affection (“a importância de você amar um amigo muito maconheiro…”, “eu preciso ser melhor com a minha supervisora. ela é muito querida”). Their lifestyle is clearly Perceiving: they oscillate between chaos and bursts of productivity, often procrastinating, improvising, and joking about lack of structure (“dormi a tarde toda. fui inutil… no fim vencemos”; going to a 20‑question exam with just a tiny summary while others bring 100+ pages: “eu fui com um resuminho na mão achando que ia ser o suficiente”). The strong emotional expressiveness, social orientation, self-deprecating humor, and idealistic ‘big picture’ thinking align best with ENFP.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Brazilian in Xi’an 🇨🇳 | PhD thesis, Sex and the City reruns & NBA hot takes | Once got scolded on a bus for laughing in Portuguese– @secaixingqiu

Your signature cocktail
This drink is a collision of worlds, just like someone who feels at home both complaining about exams in China and missing Brazilian chaos, blending baijiu with cachaça to mirror the cross-continental life between Xi’an and Porto Alegre hinted in posts like “3 brasileiro rindo no fundo do onibus e levamo mijada duma chinesa pqp”. The grapefruit and salt bring that bittersweet, slightly dehydrated vibe of being exhausted but still hopeful, like when they say “bem hoje nao deu quem sabe amanha vai ser melhor”. Chili-honey syrup captures the mix of tenderness and rage—equally capable of tweeting “que natal lindo. um dos melhores que já passei” and also threatening that some people “deveria cortar cana no gulag canavieiro” in this outburst. The foam on top represents the curated, sentimental side that turns chaos into art, like the magnum opus vibe in “to construindo e montando meu magnum opus por amor minha capela sistina há meses”. Overall it’s strong, a little abrasive, but secretly very caring and celebratory—something you’d drink after finally sending that thesis intro at 00:30 and tweeting “no fim vencemos. vou brindar com o alcool ainda sim!”.

Your Hogwarts House
They show a very strong reflective and analytical streak that fits Ravenclaw. They constantly dissect their own routines and mental patterns, like when they optimize creativity by aligning bowel movements and long showers, describing in detail how that boosts ideas: “quando eu preciso de um boom de criatividade eu alinho a rotina pra que eu possa cagar + tomar um banho longo... sempre funciona é incrível”. There’s clear intellectual engagement with study and academic life – they struggle through a very hard college assignment and even mention using multiple AI tools, but frame it as a challenge to overcome and something they finished: “terminei o trabalho random de faculdade mais dificil que eu ja fiz até a porra do chat gpt e o deepseek juntos tavam me dando trabalho”, and they detail exam setups and their own preparation style: “a gente teve uma prova com 20 questões dissertativas... eu fui com um resuminho na mão que fiz no caderno achando que ia ser o suficiente”. They’re also very invested in media, art, and narrative structure (from Sex and the City to anime and cinema), even joking about how a Brazilian meme phone number could be an SATC episode title: “acabei de ter uma epifania. 2345MEIA78 poderia ser um episódio de sex and the city”. Their humor is sharp and language-focused, as seen when they argue that anyone speaking online should at least recognize 151 Pokémon and compare that knowledge to knowing letters of the alphabet: “tipo letra do alfabeto irmao. voce escreve wagner sem saber oq é um w?”. Altogether, the emphasis on analysis, self-observation, media literacy, and witty commentary points most strongly to Ravenclaw rather than the other houses.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song for them is “Mr. Brightside” by The Killers, because it balances anxiety, overthinking, and small wins in a very similar way to their timeline. They constantly narrate their life as a mix of minor disasters and small triumphs, like when they say “sexta feira com algumas vitórias poucas derrotas um bom 57% de aproveitamento” and “galera hoje vamos vencer. acordei 7h50 e ainda nao venci apenas fui no banheiro duas vezes com dor de barriga”. The song’s theme of spiraling thoughts and insecurity lines up with tweets such as “eu to sendo muito burro e irresponsável de tá procurando alternativas de trabalhos e dinheiro... mas tenho medo de nunca ser o suficiente pqp” and “esse fim de semana vai ser complicado já to recebendo o sinal de que eu preciso me distrair legal”. At the same time, they keep finding joy and humor—getting ecstatic over cartoons and pop culture like “tem duck dodgers na hbo max. sou o homem mais feliz do mundo” and celebrating their academic progress in “consegui terminar minha introdução de proposta da tese... no fim vencemos”. That mix of angst, self-deprecation, and genuine enthusiasm for small pleasures is exactly the emotional rollercoaster that Mr. Brightside captures.

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