
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Many of the tweets reveal a pattern of self‑destructive behavior, chronic depression, and substance abuse, which mirrors Homer Simpson’s frequent binge‑drinking, neglect of health, and hopeless outlook. For example, the user writes "fuck the “back on track by ny shit” i’m aiming for the worst version possible gon’ destroy my liver, wrist, and all", echoing Homer’s love of beer and willingness to ruin his body. The repeated statements of failure—"failed at school, in life, even in maintaining relationships. I failed it all what’s next?" and the mantra "i hate thursday i hate thursday"—parallel Homer’s constant feeling of inadequacy and his disdain for work. The user’s suicidal ideation, such as "dear mother, either it’s i live as a failure or i off myself", aligns with Homer’s occasional dark moments where he contemplates ending his misery. Overall, the combination of reckless habits, low self‑esteem, and a bleak view of the future fits Homer Simpson best.

Your MBTI personality Type
The user shows strong Introverted traits, preferring internal monologue and expressing frustration over a lack of listeners (e.g., "i can yap all day long but unfortunately there’s no listener"). Their focus is on concrete, sensory details like physical pain, taste, and immediate sensations ("my eye is swollen i’m bouta go blind", "feeling like my arm is on bbq grill rn", "i love coriander i will devour coriander"). Decision‑making is driven by personal feelings and values rather than logical analysis ("every year before new year i tell myself that i’m going to be a new person... I failed it all what’s next?", "dear mother, either it’s i live as a failure or i off myself"). Finally, they display a Perceiving, flexible lifestyle, with indecisive and spontaneous statements ("slowly getting back on my old hobby hopefully i will be back on track by new year maybe..", "im on the edge of deciding whether i should decorate my new room or just kms").

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Your new Twitter bio
Writer + mental health advocate. Cat lover. Once tried to train my cat to fetch coffee. #EmbracingTheMess– @shedbluetears

Your signature cocktail
The Razor's Edge Elixir captures the raw, cutting intensity of @shedbluetears' tweets, with black vodka representing the darkness they describe in lines like "fucker this world sucks". Blood orange juice adds a visceral, bloody note echoing their frequent references to cutting and slicing, such as "no matter how life changes ill end up cutting forever". Ginger liqueur brings a sharp, burning heat that mirrors the pain and self‑harm they talk about, like "my eye is swollen i’m bouta go blind". Fresh coriander is a nod to their surprising love for the herb, quoted in "i love coriander i will devour coriander", providing a brief burst of unexpected flavor amidst the gloom. A dash of absinthe adds a chaotic, almost hallucinogenic edge, reflecting the self‑destructive spiral they describe in "life lesson #1: quit healing go insane".

Your Hogwarts House
The user often demonstrates cunning and resourcefulness, especially when they talk about using self‑harm as a means to earn money: "I quit my one and only hobby that keeps my pocket running due to depress phrase so what if i cut for money ... that's a win". They also show a desire to control how they are perceived, asking for advice on "any suggestion for covering scars? I'm bouta go to concert with my friend and long sleeves are just not it". Their determination to push through bleak circumstances is evident in "actually did a lot effort today woke up around midnight and cried until dawn got up then walked to my desk to slice". These traits of ambition, self‑preservation, and strategic thinking align most closely with Slytherin. While they display some reckless bravado, the dominant qualities match the Slytherin house.

Your movie

Your song
The raw anguish and self‑destructive urges expressed in the user’s timeline echo the opening line of Hurt, I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. Their repeated references to being on the edge and contemplating suicide, such as 'dear mother, either it’s i live as a failure or i off myself' and 'every year before new year i tell myself that i’m going to be a new person and do better but look at me now', match the song’s themes of regret and emptiness. Physical pain and numbness appear in tweets like 'my right eye aches do i take it out to massage or what you want me to do' and 'my eye is swollen i’m bouta go blind', paralleling the song’s vivid self‑harm imagery. The chorus’s question What have I become? resonates with lines like 'no matter how life changes ill end up cutting forever' and 'I’m on the edge of deciding whether i should decorate my new room or just kms'. Overall, the bleak, introspective tone of Hurt captures the user’s ongoing struggle with depression, self‑harm, and a desire for release.

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shedbluetears
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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