
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user most closely matches Moe Szyslak. Moe is chronically depressed, self-loathing, and often flirts with self-harm and suicidal ideation, which mirrors posts like “They should make a new kind of blade that doesn't whisper that it loves you” and “My only wish this newyears is that i die and nobody related to me or that has ever known me remembers me”. Like Moe, they mix dark humor, bitterness, and real pain, e.g. “WAAAAAAAH PAY ATTENTION TO ME I WANT MONEY SO BAD BRO I GOTTA BUY MORE COSPLAYS LET ME CUT MYSELF FOR CASH BRO” and “Look at me ! Look at me !!! ... you guys get to watch papa shed bleed out soon”. Moe is desperate for affection yet convinced he’s unlovable, which fits tweets like “Hundreds of you love me I have two close friends… Why am i still miserable Why do i still feel so alone” and the obsessive heartbreak in “please call me please i love you”. The account’s aggression and hostility toward others, such as “all AM yumeshippers gotta die… i hope you die suffering”, also echo Moe’s irritable, misanthropic exterior that hides deep insecurity and pain.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I) over Extrovert: while they do seek attention at times, it’s mostly via venting and intimate emotional outpouring rather than social buzz, e.g. “Why am i so miserable when my friends arent around” and “Hundreds of you love me I have two close friends… Why am i still miserable Why do i still feel so alone”, which shows a focus on a tiny trusted circle and inner states. Their writing is heavily metaphorical and lyric-based, indicating Intuition (N) over Sensing: they constantly post song-like lines and abstract imagery such as “I am the bad part of your day I am the sadness that wont go away… I am a bad idea” and “what can i do, i think only of you when sunflowers bloom in the rain.”. They are strongly Feeling (F) rather than Thinking: their judgments are based on emotional hurt, attachment, and loyalty, as seen in “I miss you so much but i know i cant reach out… i miss you so much” and “you were too pure to be held with hands like mine”; even their anger (e.g. “all AM yumeshippers gotta die…”) is value- and emotion-driven, not logical-argument driven. Finally, they read as Perceiving (P) rather than Judging: their timeline is impulsive, mood-driven, and unstructured, from spontaneous money/attention posts like “WAAAAAAAH PAY ATTENTION TO ME I WANT MONEY SO BAD… LET ME CUT MYSELF FOR CASH BRO” to unplanned swings between self-harm offers, love-bombing, and random drama, and they rarely discuss schedules or plans beyond vague ideas such as “guys what should i do for 1k followers,, I was thinking about doing a raffle of some kind but idk”. Overall, the intense internal emotional world, poetic abstraction, value-driven reactions, and chaotic spontaneity fit INFP better than any other type.

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Your new Twitter bio
Artist, lyric spammer & professional oversharer. Diagnosed plural, powered by English muffins and questionable decisions. Business: DMs.– @ShedOfShed

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail starts with high-proof dark rum for the way they lurch between bravado and self‑destruction, from “WAAAAAAAH PAY ATTENTION TO ME I WANT MONEY SO BAD BRO I GOTTA BUY MORE COSPLAYS LET ME CUT MYSELF FOR CASH BRO” to “Look at me ! Look at me !!! … you guys get to watch papa shed bleed out soon”. Black cherry liqueur adds a thick, sweet, almost romantic darkness for their obsessive love posts like “i love you i love you i love you… please come back opeklase please” and “My Saint Bernard”. Tonic water with quinine brings a lingering bitterness and faint medicinal vibe, mirroring “i wish my meds worked so i could feel better” and their constant push‑pull between wanting help and reveling in pain like “They should make a new kind of blade that doesn't whisper that it loves you”. A squeeze of fresh lime juice cuts through the gloom with acidic humor and sharp takes, as seen in “whats up with the sudden uprise of naziism on shedtwt what the hell is going on oh my god bro” and “I'm not even a proshipper but like, dude you're into gore as a fetish i feel like there are bigger problems here”. Finally, a dash of saline solution is stirred in to echo the tears and blood that saturate their timeline, from “it gets a little worse each day” to “My only wish this newyears is that i die and nobody related to me or that has ever known me remembers me”. Strong, dark, bitter‑sweet, and a little bit medical, this is an experimental, high‑octane drink that tastes like posting through heartbreak at 3 a.m. while the blades are in the mail and the followers are still watching.

Your Hogwarts House
They show intense ambition for attention, money, and status within their niche, openly saying things like “WAAAAAAAH PAY ATTENTION TO ME I WANT MONEY SO BAD BRO I GOTTA BUY MORE COSPLAYS LET ME CUT MYSELF FOR CASH BRO HIT ME UUUUUP” and promoting that “cutsign requests are open again, we can discuss price in dms depending on what you're looking for ^^”. There’s a clear willingness to weaponize shock and discomfort as a tool, shown in tweets like “Need to post more uncensored sh content so jackasses who come to my profile to be annoying dorks get slash flashed”, which reflects calculated edge rather than simple impulsivity. They cultivate a sort of persona and brand, declaring “i am THE shed of shed there are no others if you are one you simply aren't or are a poser i am the one and only shedletskyofshedtwitter”, which fits Slytherin’s focus on identity, legacy, and distinction. Even their cruelty toward disliked groups, e.g. “all AM yumeshippers gotta die ... if you selfship with AM and i see your HEDIOUS ass on my page i will block you so fucking fast, i hope you die suffering”, reads as targeted and territorial. While they clearly feel deeply and are loyal to specific people (like the ex they desperately want back), those feelings are filtered through possessiveness and fear of abandonment more than Hufflepuff-style warmth, making Slytherin the best overall fit.

Your movie

Your song
The song Saint Bernard by Lincoln fits them best because it mixes obsessive love, religious/tragic imagery, and self-loathing in a way that mirrors their timeline. They directly reference it in a tweet titled “My Saint Bernard”, showing a clear personal connection to the song and its themes. Their fixation on a past relationship and desperate longing in posts like “please call me please i love you” and “i love you i love you ... please come back” echo the song’s pleading, dependent tone. The heavy self-hatred and desire to disappear in tweets like “WE want disappear without a trace WE want everyone ever effected by our lives to forget it” align with the song’s sense of worthlessness and doomed devotion. Their blend of dark humor, gore/self-harm culture, and romantic obsession—seen in posts such as “They should make a new kind of blade that doesn't whisper that it loves you”—matches the morbid, melodramatic emotional intensity of Saint Bernard.

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