Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: Open about struggles with recovery and relapse, e.g. reflecting on not being as serious about recovery as thought in “Okay so maybe I wasn't as serious about recovery as I thought I was gulp. would yall shoot me if I came back.”.
- Emotionally honest: Shares vulnerable feelings about body image and relationships, like asking if someone still loves them despite feeling fat in “Does she still love me even though Im fat”.
- Humorous: Uses dark, sarcastic humor even while distressed, for example joking about being a ‘decoration on a tree’ in “If I dont wake up tomorrow and Im magically out of this week long binge episode im going to be a very nice decoration on a tree behind my house”.
- Affectionate: Expresses clear love for partner and friends, listing ‘My wife’ among top likes in “5 things i like and 5 oomfs to do the same if you want! ^_^ 1. Maths 2. Stranger things 3. Blueberry muffins 4. My wife 5. Computing”.
- Intellectually driven: Enjoys academics and computing, shown by liking maths and programming in “5 things i like...” and celebrating coding in “I love being able to program <3”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Describes severe self-harm and searching for sharper blades in “Just cut FOURTY EIGHT 'catscratches'... LOOKING FOR A BOXCUTTER FOR A WEEK FUCK MY LIFE”.
- Suicidal-ideation: Repeatedly references wanting to die or be killed, including asking about speed overdose as a suicide method in “Does anybody know if od on speed is a viable suicide method asking for a friend”.
- Disordered-eating: Centers life around ED struggles, bingeing, purging, and extreme restriction, e.g. planning to induce salmonella to avoid eating in “When I'm off school next I might try to give myself salmonella because i cba fasting lowk”.
- Risk-seeking: Shows willingness to engage in dangerous behaviors like excessive alcohol and wanting a vape at any cost, seen in “Man I really want a vape and I can't fucking get one FML” and calling themself an alcoholic in “Anybody out there wanna take advantage of an alcoholic emotionally vunderable tboy, I just wanna feel loved fr”.
- Low-self-worth: Speaks harshly about own body and value, such as feeling unworthy of being loved when not thin in “For someone who struggles so much with food you'd think id at least be thin”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They come across most like Lisa Simpson: highly intelligent, academic, and self-analytical but also deeply anxious and self-critical. Their love of academics and computing, like “5 things i like ... 1. Maths ... 5. Computing” and “I love being able to program <3”, fits Lisa’s studious, nerdy side. At the same time, they struggle with mental health, self-harm, and suicidal ideation, shown in posts like “If something could come and kill me in my sleep, that would be great thanks” and “Just cut FOURTY EIGHT 'catscratches'...”, echoing Lisa’s darker, depressive episodes beneath her overachiever persona. Their critical thinking about gender and society, as in “I don't get how being trans is a majour part of a person's personality...” and “Education should be a basic human right btw”, mirrors Lisa’s moral and philosophical questioning. Overall, they feel like a more online, self-destructive, edtwt version of Lisa: smart, idealistic, emotionally intense, and constantly battling their own brain.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They read as more introverted: most content is about their internal world (self-harm, eating disorder, feelings about being trans, academics) rather than social events, and even relational tweets sound yearning and withdrawn, like “Anybody out there wanna take advantage of an alcoholic emotionally vunderable tboy, I just wanna feel loved fr”, which shows loneliness rather than typical extrovert engagement. Their focus leans intuitive over purely concrete; they often generalize from their situation or make conceptual jokes, such as “Oh gee I hope my mental disorder notorious for stopping logical thought around food and eating doesnt affect my thoughts around food and eating” and musing about identity in “I know this isn't very he/they of me, but I don't get how being trans is a majour part of a person's personality…”. They appear strongly feeling-oriented: tweets are emotionally charged, self-worth focused, and relationship-focused, like “Does she still love me even though Im fat” and “I love my girlfriend but sometimes I do yearn for a m4m relationship so bad I kinda just cry”. Their decision-making is driven by emotion and self-image more than detached logic, evident when they talk about hating binges and self-harm with raw affect, e.g. “Fuck my life don't do ballet the day after cutting up both thighs to shit”. Finally, they seem more perceiving than judging: their life feels chaotic and reactive—binge episodes, impulsive self-harm, and drinking—rather than structured or planned, as shown by “Okay so maybe I wasn't as serious about recovery as I thought I was gulp. would yall shoot me if I came back.” and the spontaneous self-destructive ideas like “When I'm off school next I might try to give myself salmonella because i cba fasting lowk”. Together, these patterns best fit INFP: inward-focused, emotionally intense, idealistic, and somewhat disorganized, with strong values and a lot of inner turmoil.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you like maths, so let me put it this way: if binge episodes are the negative numbers and blueberry muffins are the positives, I’m just trying to be the constant in your life that keeps your graph from crashing.
- You ‘get’ Jekyll now because of academics, but I’m more of a Stranger Things person—so if your brain ever goes full Vecna over grades, I’ll be your Steve Harrington with snacks, reassurance, and zero judgment.
- You listed ‘my wife’ and ‘computing’ as things you love—so if I learn to code AND worship you properly, do I unlock the DLC where I get to be your bug-filled beta version boyfriend?
- You joked about giving yourself salmonella because you can’t be bothered to fast; I’m just saying, if you ever wanna skip the self-destruction side quest, we could replace it with a ‘bake blueberry muffins and make out in the kitchen’ route instead.
- You love being able to program and you once studied with an Oreo on your desk for self-control—how about we write a little script where the while(loop of self-hate) finally breaks when someone looks at you and genuinely thinks, ‘damn, this kid is incredible, exactly as is.’
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Noah | 15 | math + computing nerd who somehow does ballet. Once left an Oreo on my desk for weeks as a self-control experiment.– @SillycidalGuy
Your signature cocktail
The Blueberry Binge & Binary Blues
Meet The Blueberry Binge & Binary Blues, a messy, sparkling contradiction just like Noah. The blueberry base nods to their soft spots and small joys like “5 things i like... 3. Blueberry muffins 4. My wife 5. Computing”, sweet on the surface but deeper than it looks. A hit of coffee liqueur or cold brew channels sleepless academic grind and self‑sabotage, inspired by “I get why Jekyll did that now, fuck my life why do I have to care about academics, let me just get worse” and their love of maths/computing. The lemon soda brings sharp fizz and teenage chaos, echoing tweets like “IM ON FUCKING MAINTWT WHY AM I BEING HAUNTED LMFAO” and the way they oscillate between maintwt and edtwt/shtwt. A dash of absinthe/anise is the self‑destructive edge and surreal humour behind lines like “If something could come and kill me in my sleep, that would be great thanks” and “The urge to down a cup of floor cleaner <<<”. Finally, the blue sugar–salt rim balances sweet and bitter, representing their mix of affection and self‑loathing in tweets like “For someone who struggles so much with food you'd think id at least be thin” and “Does she still love me even though Im fat”, making a drink that’s pretty, painful, and still weirdly hopeful.
Your Hogwarts House
Ravenclaw
They consistently show a strong intellectual streak and genuine enjoyment of learning, which are core Ravenclaw traits. They say they love academics even when it makes them miserable, as seen in “I get why Jekyll did that now, fuck my life why do I have to care about academics, let me just get worse”, and openly celebrate their skills with “I love being able to program <3”. Their list of things they like includes explicitly academic interests like “1. Maths … 5. Computing”, showing that their identity is tied to thinking and study. They also approach gender in a reflective, analytical way with “I don't get how being trans is a majour part of a person's personality… like my hair colour… as is my gender, idk if that makes sense.”. While they struggle deeply with mental health, the through‑line in their posts is a thoughtful, self-aware mind that fixates on ideas and understanding, which fits Ravenclaw more than the other houses.
Your movie
Your song
Teenagers - My Chemical Romance
A well‑known song that fits them is Teenagers by My Chemical Romance, because it channels the mix of dark humor, self-destructive thoughts, and teenage angst that shows up constantly in their tweets. They openly talk about suicidal ideation and self-harm, like in “If something could come and kill me in my sleep, that would be great thanks” and “Just cut FOURTY EIGHT 'catscratches' after not cutting for over half a year”, which echoes the song’s raw, pessimistic view of youth. Their struggles with eating disorders and body image in posts like “For someone who struggles so much with food you'd think id at least be thin” and “Does she still love me even though Im fat” resonate with the song’s feeling of being judged and alienated. The way they joke about death and risky behavior, such as “The urge to down a cup of floor cleaner <<<” and “When I'm off school next I might try to give myself salmonella because i cba fasting lowk”, aligns with the reckless, fatalistic tone of the track. Despite this, there’s also a smart, self-aware side in tweets like “Oh gee I hope my mental disorder notorious for stopping logical thought around food and eating doesnt affect my thoughts around food and eating”, matching the song’s cynical but knowing commentary on how messed up being a teenager can be.
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