
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, especially a darker, more self-critical version of her. Lisa is intelligent and introspective but often feels alienated, much like this user’s existential distress in tweets like “Bitte Gott hol mich hier raus ich habe mich verlaufen” and “Get me out of here”. Their fixation on self-improvement and harsh self-judgment echoes Lisa’s perfectionism, seen in posts such as “I literally only have 5 kgs left, why can’t I just lock tf in” and “Im slowly locking back in again”. The deep self-loathing and depressive ideation in “I can’t starve good enough, I can’t cut deep enough… wtf am i even good enough for” and “‘I need to get worse’ on repeat for a decade, maybe I should just end my shit” fit with a more extreme, fan-theorized version of Lisa who internalizes her pain. Even their sense of being stuck and disappointed in themselves, like “Pls november me come back to me… so I actually get something out of being miserable all the time”, mirrors Lisa’s constant struggle to reconcile her ideals with her reality.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I): their tweets focus on inner struggles and self-criticism rather than social life, e.g. “I can’t starve good enough, I can’t cut deep enough, my partner thinks I’m cheating when I act weird, I want to drop out of Uni, wtf am i even good enough for” and “Get me out of here” show a highly internal, withdrawn focus. They appear more Intuitive (N) than Sensing: even when talking about weight, they frame it in terms of meaning, identity, and a long-term narrative of decline, like “‘I need to get worse’ on repeat for a decade, maybe I should just end my shit” and “pls november me come back to me pls you actually consistently lost weight come back so I actually get something out of being miserable all the time pls come back”, which are abstract, emotional storylines rather than concrete plans. Their values and emotions dominate, pointing to Feeling (F): they judge themselves in harsh emotional terms like “I’m such a fat useless chud” and “Been maintaining for far too long, I’m such a fat fucking chud”, and there’s no sign of detached logical analysis, only raw self-worth evaluations. Finally, they seem Perceiving (P): they talk about wanting to “lock in” but failing to follow through, such as “I literally only have 5 kgs left, why can’t I just lock tf in”, “I need to lock in again. Food doesn’t even taste good anymore so why can’t I stop eating it”, and “I should start working out again but I’m too lazyyyyyy”, which show a desire for structure but a lived experience of procrastination and drifting. The overall picture—intense inner world, idealized “better” self, emotional self-judgment, and difficulty executing rigid plans—fits INFP better than other types.

Some pickup lines for you

Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
21 | Powered by caramel, cinnamon, and chaotic uni schedules. Documenting the glow-up, the slip-ups, and everything in between.– @silverleafs_

Your signature cocktail
The salted caramel vodka is for the self-proclaimed “lover of anything caramel and cinnamon flavored” in their bio, a sweet core with a slight sting. Cinnamon-infused cold brew captures their tired but restless grind and the constant urge to “start working out again but I’m too lazyyyyyy” “I should start working out again but I’m too lazyyyyyy”. The grapefruit bitters represent the harsh self-talk and body hatred in lines like “My body looks so weird lol I hate it” and “I’m such a fat useless chud”, adding a bite that’s hard to ignore. Honey syrup stands for the small, stubborn sweetness in their glimpses of progress, like “Actually seeing progress”, softening the bitterness without erasing it. Finally, club soda with a twist of lime captures the volatile, fizzy chaos of wanting to “lock back in again” “Im slowly locking back in again” while simultaneously whispering “maybe I should just end my shit” ““I need to get worse” on repeat for a decade, maybe I should just end my shit”, a light, sparkling mask over something much heavier underneath.

Your Hogwarts House
The strongest recurring trait in these tweets is intense, often self-destructive ambition directed at their body and weight. They repeatedly frame their goals in terms of “locking in” and pushing harder, like in “I’m slowly locking back in again” and “I literally only have 5 kgs left, why can’t I just lock tf in”, which shows a relentless drive toward a target. There is also a willingness to use extreme strategies and self-denial to reach those goals, as in “What if drink again later today once I’m home, get takeout and don’t eat anything until the next weekend”, reflecting Slytherin-style resourcefulness twisted inward. Their bio, “bmi 17s gw:45 ugw:40”, and tweets like “Been maintaining for far too long, I’m such a fat fucking chud” and “Pls november me come back to me pls you actually consistently lost weight come back so I actually get something out of being miserable all the time pls come back” show that they view suffering as an acceptable price—甚至 a requirement—for achieving their aims, which fits the House’s reputation for ruthless goal-orientation. While there is self-loathing and hopelessness, the throughline is not lack of direction but a painful obsession with reaching specific outcomes at any cost, a very Slytherin pattern of ambition turned against the self.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song for them is Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish because it captures a hostile, self-destructive relationship with one’s own body and mind, similar to how they talk about themselves. Their eating disorder focus and fixation on weight, like in “bmi 17s gw:45 ugw:40” and “I literally only have 5 kgs left, why can’t I just lock tf in”, mirrors the song’s themes of pushing oneself further into harm. They express deep self-hatred with lines like “I’m such a fat useless chud” and “I can’t starve good enough, I can’t cut deep enough”, which resonate with the song’s dark internal monologue and desire to escape oneself. Their suicidal ideation in “‘I need to get worse’ on repeat for a decade, maybe I should just end my shit” matches the song’s eerie, death-tinged mood. Overall, the track’s unsettling sound and lyrics about being both the monster and the victim parallel their feelings of being trapped in a worsening cycle of self-destruction.

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