Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally open: Shares intense vulnerability, like announcing his partner’s crisis in “boyfriend killed himself. give me like five minutes.” and later updating everyone in “boyfriend medically stable. i'm free. thank you, everyone.”.
- Community-minded: Organizes and references collective efforts such as the Takunion and union leadership in “they gave me a cage flanked by two empty ones presumably because they believe in my union leader capacity to mobilize the downtrodden” and events like “Takunion Maid Cafe Event”.
- Self-aware: Reflects critically on his own past work and persona, like revising his DCRT infographic in “really pessimistic and emotionally driven… I don't fully stand by what it says but idk it might help some people” and reconsidering his profile signaling in “I initially put them as a signifier that I was a feminist… but I think everyone knows that now.”.
- Supportive leader: Positions himself as someone who helps others navigate crises, as in “MY TAKUMI GUIDE FOR DEALING WITH DCRT IN A LOVED ONE AS A GUY WHO HAS DONE IT TWICE: a thread” and urging others to “exercise your right to #vote”.
- Creative writer: Uses narrative framing and poetic language, like the RP-style description in “[ While dismally doomscrolling through his Apps in his Cage… ]” and the line “When the sun explodes I hope our atoms find each other on the next planet over.”.
Weaknesses:
- Impulsive posting: Admits posting in a bad state in “I'm in a really shitty mood and probably should have saved these for later, but they're taking my mind off of it.”, and frequently fires off raw, distressed tweets like “fuck. fuck. fuuuck. they're everywhere”.
- Self-destructive humor: Uses extreme or suicidal jokes, e.g. “if i was high and someone started speaking Futuran in front of me i would kill myself” and catastrophic statements like “Everyone Wants Me Dead.”.
- Conflict-prone: Engages in antagonistic dynamics, such as “9 loves playing the victim and you're falling for it because you hate me. #growup #greenup” and openly hostile lines like “I fucking 𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚 that gigglefag”.
- Validation-seeking: Frequently worries about attention and reactions, as in “is there anyone even out there haha. #cagetwt”, follower-count focus in “1 follower away nobody move.”, and concern over tags in “if you tagged me and I don't respond please poke me.”.
- Emotional volatility: Swings rapidly between bravado and hurt, denying sensitivity in “my feelings never get hurt… I don't really give a fuck” while elsewhere saying “why do I never learn my damn lesson” and “I feel so jaded and ran through”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The best match is Lisa Simpson: hyper-verbal, political, creative, and prone to both moralizing and emotional meltdowns. Like Lisa, he openly identifies with ideals and causes, calling himself a “poet. Team Leader. cinephile. always #listening and #learning,” and organizing things like the Takunion and events such as the Maid Café (“happy Tuesday! enjoy the Maid Takumis on your TL today as a courtesy of the Takunion Maid Cafe Event.”). He mixes earnest activism and overthinking with intense sensitivity and self-consciousness, as seen when he frets over his persona (“I'm not really that sensitive actually. I'm not. do all of you think this?”) and worries about being perceived as “performative” (“'performative'...why are women so cruel.”). His long, didactic threads and guides—such as “MY TAKUMI GUIDE FOR DEALING WITH DCRT IN A LOVED ONE AS A GUY WHO HAS DONE IT TWICE: a thread 🧵”—mirror Lisa’s tendency to turn personal pain into detailed, moral or educational discourse. At the same time, he has Lisa’s melodramatic flair and isolation, oscillating between dark, theatrical statements like “Everyone Wants Me Dead.” and lonely cage tweets such as “is there anyone even out there haha. #cagetwt”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They show clear Extraversion: they constantly reach out for interaction, asking if anyone is up or wants to chat, e.g. “good morning to all not federal agents are any not federal agents up and wanting to chat?” and “anyone up rn”, and they thrive on being in the middle of community drama and events like the Takunion and Maid Cafe Event (“happy Tuesday! enjoy the Maid Takumis on your TL today...”). They strongly favor Intuition over Sensing, focusing on narrative, symbolism, and broad themes rather than concrete detail, as seen in poetic, meta posts like “[ While dismally doomscrolling through his Apps in his Cage, Takumi notices that his number of unanswered voicemails has gone up. He figures, I'm so lonely and chopped and hopeless right now that it can't possibly hurt to listen to a few, right? He starts with the most recent. ]” and “when I got pulled into the vortex known as the 'Eitoverse'...”. Their decision-making is Feeling-oriented: they foreground emotional states, relationships, and values—calling themselves a “poet” and “Team Leader,” openly discussing sensitivity and care, e.g. “ok. well. if I wasn't sensitive maybe I wouldn't have come back to ensure that everyone lives in the future. maybe I do gaf. and that's a good thing.” and advocacy-style threads like “MY TAKUMI GUIDE FOR DEALING WITH DCRT IN A LOVED ONE AS A GUY WHO HAS DONE IT TWICE: a thread 🧵”. They appear more Perceiving than Judging: their timeline is impulsive, chaotic, and reactive—swinging from jokes to crisis to new projects, e.g. immediately announcing “boyfriend killed himself. give me like five minutes.” then shortly after posting about inboxes and threads, or casually starting initiatives like “continuing Tetratto tomorrow. I see your messages. like this post for a surprise. (tomorrow).” without clear follow-through. Altogether—dramatic emotional expression, community focus, idealistic activism, and highly spontaneous behavior—fit ENFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- So, Team Leader, if you’re #listening and #learning, can I volunteer to be your next enrichment activity? I promise I’ll visit your cage more often than the Courtyard did on 1/22.
- You said you ‘dream of substack and cigarettes’—what if we compromise and I take you out for coffee and a movie, and afterward we write matching Letterboxd reviews about how our first date had strong Byronic Boy Winter energy?
- When you said, ‘When the sun explodes I hope our atoms find each other on the next planet over,’ I felt that. Until then, do you want to practice by letting our timelines orbit a little closer?
- You keep insisting you’re not sensitive and that you ‘don’t really give a fuck,’ but you also made a whole Takumi guide for helping someone through DCRT. If this is you not caring, I’d love to see how you treat someone you’re actually into.
- You’ve been #inmycage, #notinmycageanymore, and pacing around muttering on #cagetwt—how about we run a little experiment: I put you in my DMs instead and see if your head still hurts or if that cures the Berries Virus of loneliness.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Union-minded cage resident, top surgery enjoyer & accidental time traveler. Answers anonymous questions, writes too much, still looking for a lighter.– @sireikisser
Your signature cocktail
The Not-In-My-Cage Negroni
This drink is strong, a little bitter, and theatrically smoky, much like a poet Team Leader who’s “getting sauced as fuck #inmycage” while plotting union strategy “getting sauced as fuck #inmycage”. The overproof, smoky gin base captures his Byronic, cigarettes-and-substack persona “I dream of substack and cigarettes” and the sense that he’s always pacing and muttering in some metaphorical courtyard “pacing around (and muttering)! #cagetwt”. The bitter berry apéritif nods to the ominous Berries Virus and his stressed, sick humor about it “guys please take masking seriously there's some sinister shit going around. I'm so ill” and “I threw up and it was berry color”, while the sweet vermouth respects the earnest, romantic core under all the irony “When the sun explodes I hope our atoms find each other on the next planet over.”. A couple drops of saline stand in for the tears, sweat, and sheer emotional labor of being the guy who both writes DCRT guides and doomscrolls from a cage “MY TAKUMI GUIDE FOR DEALING WITH DCRT IN A LOVED ONE…” and “they gave me a cage flanked by two empty ones… it's a little lonely sometimes, though.”. Finally, the scorched orange peel is a tiny, performative flourish: a little dramatic, a little burnt-out, but still undeniably stylish—just like someone who insists his heightened reactions are “an artistic experiment” while clearly giving a very deep fuck “my feelings never get hurt. any time i've acted like they're hurt has been an artistic experiment okay?”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
They show strong leadership and organizing instincts that are very Slytherin-coded: they literally describe themselves as "Team Leader" in their bio and talk about union-style strategy, e.g. the "Takunion" in tweets like “Takunion Fundraising Ideas. rough draft.” and “Takunion leak”. There is a clear sense of ambition and image-consciousness in posts like “Letterboxd reveal at 400” and “1 follower away nobody move.”, where follower milestones and curated self-presentation matter. They are resourceful and rhetorically strategic, explicitly deciding not to pick a fight because they know they would "destroy" the other person, as in “I'm not going to challenge this guy to a woke off. because I'll destroy him so bad he'll have to leave the platform forever and that's cruel.”. Even their self-defense and reputation management—“ok. well. if I wasn't sensitive maybe I wouldn't have come back to ensure that everyone lives in the future.” and “my feelings never get hurt… any time i've acted like they're hurt has been an artistic experiment”—read as calculated self-mythologizing rather than pure vulnerability. While they have Gryffindor-adjacent activism and some Ravenclaw-style wit, the dominant throughline is ambitious, image-aware leadership with a flair for drama and self-preservation, which fits Slytherin best.
Your movie
Your song
Welcome to the Black Parade - My Chemical Romance
A dramatic, self-mythologizing narrative about pain, responsibility, and survival fits him well, and Welcome to the Black Parade captures that balance of emo melodrama and genuine conviction. He’s constantly positioning himself as a leader under siege, from calling himself a “Team Leader” in his bio to posts like “they gave me a cage flanked by two empty ones presumably because they believe in my union leader capacity to mobilize the downtrodden”, which matches the song’s themes of inheriting a cause and leading others through trauma. The emotional whiplash between ironic posturing and real despair in tweets like “boyfriend killed himself. give me like five minutes.” and “I....failed.” parallels the song’s mixture of tragic backstory and defiant resilience. Even his theatrical framing of being imprisoned — “awake! #cagetwt” and “hey so this is actually illegal.” — feels like the kind of grand, symbolic suffering the song turns into a rallying cry. Finally, his Byronic, cigarette-and-substack aesthetic in “I dream of substack and cigarettes” meshes with the song’s gothic, poetic flair and enduring sense of tragic heroism.
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