Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Socially Conscious: Advocates for science-based medicine and warns about the “consequence” of dismantling healthcare.
- Growth Mindset: Consciously attempts a “positivity arc” to limit making fun of others.
- Musical Passion: Shows extreme dedication to favorite artists, spending over “232 days” of the year listening to Paramore.
- Respectful Boundaries: Correctly identifies that “taking pictures of people” on public transport without consent is weird.
- Linguistic Precision: Values proper terminology, critiquing the misuse of “proletariat” vs “proletarian”.
Weaknesses:
- Overactive Posting: Admitted to being “addicted to making fun of idiots” on the platform.
- Engagement Desperation: Publicly laments when “nobody even liked” their posts, showing a high need for validation.
- Hyperbolic Language: Uses extreme comparisons, likening social media content to “crack cocaine wrapped in heroine”.
- Procrastination Tendencies: Admits that tasks often take “two months” before they ultimately give up.
- Digital Paranoia: Actively searches spam sections to follow accounts to thwart “censorship gods”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Like Lisa, @SmashingUrFort is an idealistic and politically active individual who frequently speaks out on social issues and science. They display a sharp, intellectual wit, criticizing others for poor grammar by noting it “genuinely triggers something in me whenever someone uses 'proletariat' instead of 'proletarian'”. Their advocacy for public health is evident when they warn that “RFK Jr is destroying science based medicine in america”. Despite their seriousness, they possess a deep, almost obsessive passion for music, mirrored by Lisa's love for jazz, as seen in their staggering “335 THOUSAND MINUTES ONLY PARAMORE” listening stat. Ultimately, they share Lisa’s struggle with being a lone voice of reason in a chaotic digital landscape while trying to “embrace positivity”.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
SmashingUrFort exhibits Extroversion (E) through a high volume of social interaction and a desire for community, seen when they ask for more “parafans following me”. Their Intuition (N) is evident in their focus on abstract concepts like the “uncanny valley effect” and analyzing sociopolitical 'dog whistles.' They lead with Feeling (F), frequently using emotive language and prioritizing values, such as when they call for others to “Embrace positivity” or criticize others for being “toxic for no reason.” Finally, their Perceiving (P) trait shows in their spontaneous, 'shitpost' style and admission that projects often take “two months and i give up before i finish it.”
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you 335,000 minutes of Paramore? Because I could honestly spend more than two-thirds of my year just focused on you.
- Forget the 'following' page—you’re the only person I want to see on my timeline, and I don't even need the censorship gods to help me find you.
- I promise I’m not as 'clearly AI' as that uncanny valley post; my feelings for you are 100% authentic and significantly less buggy than a YouTube Music recap.
- Is your name Hayley? Because I’m trying to bridge the gap between our worlds, even if it takes more than a David Byrne collab to get your attention.
- I’d never take your picture on a train without asking, but I’d definitely love to be the 'whomst' to your 'me and gang' in a twinning post.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Obsessed with Paramore, debunking junk science, and perfecting my positivity arc. Once caught a tuba player jamming to EDM on my commute. He/him. 🎵💉– @SmashingUrFort
Your signature cocktail
The Woke-O-Clock Paramore Punch
This drink hits hard because, as the user says, “'SMASH!' Is what he'll say before quickly shutting himself up.” The base is high-energy and loud, reflecting their “335 THOUSAND MINUTES ONLY PARAMORE” obsession. We add extra salt because they noted “that has to be too much salt on those fries”, representing their sharp tongue against 'toxic' accounts. Finally, it’s topped with a blue tint to investigate if “THE BLUE GIRL IS TRANSPHOBIC?”, served chilled to help with the “Migraine struck me like lightning” blues.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Despite their account name, @SmashingUrFort consistently prioritizes community, kindness, and loyalty, which are the hallmarks of a Hufflepuff. They actively advocate for a “positivity arc” and encourage others to “Embrace positivity” over toxicity. Their deep sense of fairness and protectiveness is evident when they criticize people for “Taking pictures of people on the train without asking” or when they express concern for others' health, noting that certain actions “could injure people”. This dedication to being a “LOYAL SOLDIER” for their friends and their constant use of the term "oomf" (one of my friends) solidifies their identity as a person who values interpersonal connections above all else.
Your movie
Your song
Hard Times - Paramore
The most fitting song for @SmashingUrFort is Hard Times by Paramore, as the user is an admitted superfan who spent “335 THOUSAND MINUTES ONLY PARAMORE” listening to the band in 2025. The song’s blend of upbeat synth-pop with lyrics about struggle mirrors their online persona, where they balance being “addicted to making fun of idiots” with a conscious effort to “embrace positivity”. Additionally, the track reflects their resilient attitude toward personal hurdles, such as when a “migraine struck me like lightning but im doing okayish”. This alignment of obsessive fandom and the attempt to find joy amidst daily friction makes this Paramore classic their perfect anthem.
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