
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This user most closely matches Bart Simpson, with a mix of chaotic humor, pop‑culture obsession, and a tendency to complain in a funny way. They clearly live online and love edgy, violent, or weird media (DOOM, Metal Gear, Hotline Miami, Silent Hill), which fits Bart’s taste for intense games and TV. Their annoyed but joking rant about spoilers in “i love smiling friends but i hate how much you fuckers post every single funny bit of the new episode on this site when it JUST came out…” sounds like Bart yelling at the rest of Springfield for ruining his fun. The goofy, slightly unhinged posts like “don’t fw me or my goku cereal ever again” and “I just swallowed a boiled egg” show a childish, prankish sense of humor rather than Lisa-like seriousness or Marge-like responsibility. Even their self‑aware complaints about this “dog shit website” in “5 years on this dog shit website” fit Bart’s attitude: he’ll gripe about something while clearly still enjoying being there and causing trouble.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I): their bio location is literally “in bed” and their tweets center on solitary media consumption and gaming rather than social gatherings, e.g. loving shows/games and complaining about the online experience like in “i love smiling friends but i hate how much you fuckers post every single funny bit of the new episode on this site…”. Their interests and tweets suggest Sensing (S): they focus on concrete, sensory-heavy games like DOOM, Metal Gear Solid, Half Life, Hotline Miami, Silent Hill and celebrate specific, tangible events like “Happy 5th anniversary to one of the best games ever made” and “cake day 🎂”. Their tone is blunt and a bit sardonic, fitting Thinking (T): they vent directly about spoilers in “i love smiling friends but i hate how much you fuckers post…” and describe the site as “this dog shit website” without softening the language. Finally, they seem Perceiving (P): their posts are spontaneous, reactionary, and in-the-moment, like “dope”, “dude lives in that one episode of spongebob”, and the offhand “I just swallowed a boiled egg”, with no sign of structured planning or long-term organization. The combination of low-key, solitary hobbies, sensory/action-heavy media tastes, blunt humor, and spur-of-the-moment posting best fits ISTP.

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Your new Twitter bio
Media student stuck in bed, rotating DOOM, MGS, Half-Life, Silent Hill & Hotline Miami in my brain. Once spent a whole day breaking an emulator for fun.– @Soggybiscuits_

Your signature cocktail
The Slushy Biscuit Overkill is a loud, late‑night cocktail built for someone who lives “in bed” but clearly never sleeps, powered by overproof dark rum for that high-energy, DOOM-level intensity that screams “#DOOMSweepstakes”. Cold brew coffee channels the moody, slightly unhinged grind of trying to emulate games all day, like when they said “I have nightmares seeing this after trying to get it to run properly on an emulator for an entire day”. A spiced cherry cola reduction brings in a nostalgic, slightly chaotic sweetness that fits their love of retro-feeling violence and absurdity from DOOM, Hotline Miami, and Silent Hill, and the way they beg, “can someone please put metal gear music over this video that’d be so awesome”. The smoked salt & cocoa nib rim reflects their salty, dark sense of humor about this “dog shit website” as they celebrated “5 years on this dog shit website”, plus their love for gritty horror like Silent Hill and their favorite games list in “favorite 6 games (no particular order) Doom Eternal… silent hill 1…”. Finally, a whipped cream ‘cake day’ float crowns it with a playful, celebratory touch, nodding to their recurring “cake day 🎂” tradition and the goofy energy of “don’t fw me or my goku cereal ever again”. Strong, slightly bitter, nostalgic, and a bit unhinged, this drink is basically a Metal Gear alert sound in cocktail form.

Your Hogwarts House
They show a playful, referential wit and media-savvy humor that leans strongly Ravenclaw. Their frustration about spoilers in “i love smiling friends but i hate how much you fuckers post every single funny bit of the new episode on this site when it JUST came out I pretty much know what the entire episode is about atp” suggests they value experiencing stories thoughtfully rather than passively consuming hype. A lot of their posts are clever, self-aware jokes built on media references, like comparing someone to a cartoon scenario in “dude lives in that one episode of spongebob”, which shows quick associative thinking. Their gaming tastes—Doom Eternal, Red Dead Redemption 2, Silent Hill 1, Inscryption—listed in “favorite 6 games (no particular order)… Doom Eternal… Red dead redemption 2… silent hill 1 inscryption…” lean toward narrative depth, systems, and atmosphere, all of which attract analytical and reflective players. Even their offhand posts, like the dry absurdity of “I just swallowed a boiled egg” or the comedic setup in “A story in two parts.”, show a sense of timing and creativity characteristic of Ravenclaw rather than the louder bravado of Gryffindor or the ruthlessly goal-driven tone of Slytherin.

Your movie

Your song
A fitting song for @Soggybiscuits_ is Rip & Tear by Mick Gordon, the iconic track from DOOM (2016). Their bio literally starts with “I love DOOM,” and they celebrate it repeatedly, like when they joined the “#DOOMSweepstakes” and called it one of the best games ever made in “Happy 5th anniversary to one of the best games ever made”. The song’s aggressive energy and relentless pace match their intense, slightly chaotic posting style, from venting about spoilers in “i love smiling friends but i hate how much you fuckers post every single funny bit of the new episode on this site” to emulator struggles in “I have nightmares seeing this after trying to get it to run properly on an emulator for an entire day”. Rip & Tear captures that mix of frustration, humor, and hype that runs through their timeline, while directly reflecting their favorite franchise.

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Soggybiscuits_
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