
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The best match is Lisa Simpson: a gifted, hyper-intellectual girl whose sensitivity and sense of justice coexist with deep loneliness and depression. Like Lisa, Sophie is academically driven and precocious, tweeting about university, lab work, and math and biology research, e.g. “i'm sorry for not tweeting more about my research. i haven't shown up to my lab since november. i don't even really remember what i was doing (something something tissue state transitions...)” and “in first year one of my professors emailed me after the final exam to say i was the only student to solve his bonus question, and i got a perfect grade 🥹”. Lisa’s identity struggles and feeling out of place mirror Sophie’s intense dysphoria and trauma, as in “i transitioned at 15 years old. my life is supposed to be completely different to this. i keep realising how i'm living and my brain can't process it.” and “moving to canada made me realise how straight up demonic the NHS was. they took me off HRT and blacklisted me from getting an estrogen prescription when i was 15”. Both also have a strong moral and reflective streak, turning pain into analysis and advocacy, as when she writes “i have invented a marvelous new concept called a 'trans child'. it's where you set a child on fire and then get angry at them if they get upset about it”. Even the blend of dark humor, self-awareness, and a desire to "make the world what i wanted" in science and life, as in “my revenge fantasies were just me passing perfectly and becoming a famous scientist. 'look, i won!! i'm better than you, i made the world what i wanted'”, feels very Lisa-coded in a much harsher universe.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as an introvert (I): most posts are introspective, about inner experiences, trauma, and solitary struggle rather than seeking large social crowds, e.g. “it's the middle of the night and i'll never be alright again” and “every morning i wake up excited to live and then i remember my body is bloated and deformed so i stay in bed for 4 hours”. Their thinking is strongly intuitive (N), focusing on metaphors, curses, symbols, and big-picture narratives instead of concrete detail, like “at midnight new years eve 2020, i said something terrible out loud and think i placed a curse on myself and possibly the entire world” and “the extent to which i have lived the wrong life is astonishing. nothing that's happened since 2020 makes sense from a canon perspective”. They are clearly feeling (F)-dominant, evaluating everything through emotional and moral lenses—self-blame, empathy, and hurt—such as “everything bad in my life is my fault, and that makes me a bad person” and their anguish about how others are treated in “moving to canada made me realise how straight up demonic the NHS was… just totally destroying the entire rest of my life out of hate”. Finally, they lean perceiving (P) more than judging: life feels chaotic, unstructured, and improvised, with missed classes, projects and lab work, e.g. “i haven't shown up to my lab since november. i don't even really remember what i was doing” and “dropped out of a project that's turning into a startup and some publications, because i got so dysphoric i kept missing meetings”. Putting these together—deeply internal, metaphorical, values-driven, and overwhelmed by structure—INFP fits better than nearby types like INFJ or INTP.

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Your new Twitter bio
Biology & math undergrad in Toronto. Builds monster embryos by day, overthinks gender and fate by night. Once sobbed in lab thinking I was alone.– @sophieisawitch

Your signature cocktail
The overproof dark rum infused with black tea is for the brutal intensity of psych wards, trauma, and sheer survival, echoing lines like “after 7 years i am back in a psych ward” and “they let me out of the psychward”. St. Germain elderflower liqueur brings a fragile, floral sweetness for the bookish, romantic scientist who says “life is a pure flame, and we are lit by and invisible sun within us | biology and maths student” and dreams of being a famous researcher as revenge in “my revenge fantasies were just me passing perfectly and becoming a famous scientist”. The grapefruit juice with a dash of saline is bright but bitter-salty, capturing dysphoria, exile, and regret in posts like “i transitioned at 15 years old. my life is supposed to be completely different to this” and “moving to canada made me realise how straight up demonic the NHS was”. A violet liqueur rinse gives a ghostly purple aura for the cursed, witchy self-mythology of “at midnight new years eve 2020, i said something terrible out loud and think i placed a curse on myself and possibly the entire world” and the trans-goth vibe of “if you're trans you have to fly in spirals through the night and into the fire. you have to pass the gate.”. Finally, the activated charcoal sugar rim makes it literally dark and sweet at the edges, a nod to her monster embryos and tissue alchemy in “i've created new evil creatures!! i melted embryos down into cell slurries and regrew them back into solid chunks of tissue.” and the way she turns horror into strange, glittering science.

Your Hogwarts House
Their defining throughline is an intense love of learning and analysis, even in the middle of severe distress. They casually describe advanced lab work with delight and clarity, like melting embryos into slurries and regrowing them as tissue to test cell adhesion: “i've created new evil creatures!! i melted embryos down into cell slurries and regrew them back into solid chunks of tissue. some of them were labelled green and some were magenta so you can see that the cells combined.” and “my shitty new assay works!! i can make different embryos fuse together to test cell adhesion this clump formed out of two embryos (one that fluoresces and one that doesnt)”. They frame their whole identity around studying and research, e.g. “transitioning and studying literally are the core of my identity” and feel deep shame specifically about not living up to their academic potential: “in first year one of my professors emailed me after the final exam to say i was the only student to solve his bonus question, and i got a perfect grade 🥹 now i keep failing some fucking dif eq course because i keep trying to kill myself, while my friends are all starting phds”. Even their coping mechanisms and jokes are cerebral and self-referential, such as wanting any advanced STEM textbook to break a reading slump: “can someone recommend me a textbook from their field 🥺 i want to break out of my reading slump. ideally advanced undergrad level. i will take literally any STEM subject” and making meta-analogies about trauma and dysphoria: “the analogy between chronic pain and dysphoria is that people try to replace the problem with meta problems.”. While there’s some Slytherin-esque ambition in their desire to "becoming a famous scientist" as revenge (“my revenge fantasies were just me passing perfectly and becoming a famous scientist. 'look, i won!! i'm better than you, i made the world what i wanted'”), that ambition is in service of intellectual mastery and understanding. Taken together, the primacy of study, research, and abstract thinking over everything else makes Ravenclaw the strongest fit.

Your movie

Your song
The song that best suits Sophie is Dog Days Are Over by Florence + The Machine, a track she herself repeatedly frames as bound up with her life. She mentions that at 16 she would "wait until midnight every single night, and listen to the song dog days are over in my head" “it's midnight in the psych ward. when i was 16, i would wait until midnight every single night, and listen to the song dog days are over in my head”, tying the song directly to her experience of the psych ward and survival. More recently she writes, “i can't believe florence + the machine wrote a song about the worst day of my life”, showing that she reads its themes of overwhelming pain, escape, and desperate hope as mirroring her own story. The song’s mix of euphoria and catastrophe echoes her timeline: intense trauma, suicidal ideation, and institutionalization alongside stubborn ambition in science and study, like “i think my basic problem is i want to live” and her lab work tweets. Dog Days Are Over is about running from the past, being hunted by grief, and still choosing to move forward, which resonates with her reflections on never really having "got away" yet still trying—“i dont feel like i ever really got away last time. everything that's happened since has been because i never recovered”.

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