
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
Like the Springfield bus driver, @soupbeing is defined by a chaotic lifestyle centered around heavy metal, substance use, and a general disregard for social norms. He shares Otto's obsession with niche subgenres, claiming that “80s thrash metal is the best antidepressant” and frequently posting about his various intoxicants. His rebellious, counter-cultural attitude is evident when he describes his 2026 plans as “abusing various stimulants” and “sleeping in a puddle”. Furthermore, his dismissive, irony-poisoned outlook on authority and mainstream society mirrors the burnout energy of a man who lives in the back of a bus and listens to Eyehategod.

Your MBTI personality Type
@soupbeing exhibits the high-energy, contrarian spirit of an ENTP, displaying Extroversion through a constant stream of consciousness and a desire for social reaction, such as his “beast mode honestly” commentary. His Intuition is evident in his preference for abstract irony and niche subcultures over mundane reality, seen when he dreams of “listening to dopesmoker and halfway through it suddenly turned into free jazz.” He shows a strong Thinking preference through his blunt, unsentimental, and often aggressive logical critiques of political systems, calling out “neoliberal cancer” and identity politics. Finally, his Perceiving nature is defined by a chaotic, spontaneous lifestyle involving “going to bed at 9am” and a total lack of conventional structure or professional filter.

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Your new Twitter bio
Advocating for economic equity and labor rights from the suburbs. Once dreamt I was in a goregrind band that transitioned into free jazz. Thrash metal enthusiast.– @soupbeing

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is as chaotic and high-octane as the user's persona, taking its name directly from his self-described vibe as “The Soulful Methhead”. The drink reflects his “old style opiate addiction” aesthetic while being strong enough to act as an “antidepressant” for a fan of 80s thrash metal. It captures his aggressive stance on identity politics—represented by the harsh Absinthe—paired with the sophisticated irony of “watching the sopranos eating pasta and drinking san pellegrino”. It is an experimental mess designed for someone who stays up until 9am “abusing various stimulants” while dreaming of a Marxist utopia.

Your Hogwarts House
John Methamphetamine embodies Slytherin’s resourcefulness and focus on self-preservation, explicitly stating he is “not dying for this gay ass country” while boasting about a “phd in wiggernomics”. His ambition is rooted in personal desire and aesthetics, from declaring he’ll “become a cigar guy this year” to his plan of “moving to brooklyn” once he is financially stable. He displays a typical Slytherin disdain for those he deems beneath him, telling a teenager to “do your maths homework” instead of being a loser. Ultimately, his cynical worldview and focus on status and subculture hierarchy align perfectly with the house of the ambitious and the shrewd.

Your movie

Your song
The song's blend of post-hardcore energy and an iconic dub-inspired bassline perfectly matches John's eclectic taste in music, ranging from “80s thrash metal” to how it feels “to say you listen to dub.” The lyrics reflect a restless, suburban frustration that aligns with his location in “da burbs” and his self-described political identity as a “1940s trade unionist” mixed with ironic edge. The track's raw, anti-establishment spirit captures his disdain for “neoliberal cancer” and his general vibe of being “fucked up off the milson” while waiting for societal collapse. Ultimately, Waiting Room embodies the gritty, stimulant-fueled, and hyper-cynical atmosphere of a user who claims to have a “phd in wiggernomics.”

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soupbeing
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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