Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Affectionate partner: Often expresses love and admiration for their girlfriend, e.g. calling her their dream in “a minha amada é meu sonho mesmo” and being “doente apaixonado” in “meu deus que mulher linda eu sou doente to doente apaixonado maluco”.
- Supportive friend: Shows care for friends and mutuals, like hyping a friend up in “fazendo minha amiga gringa famosa flertar com essa butch do tiktok pra virar amigo meu” and affectionately listing mutuals in “mutuals sem falar o nome”.
- Self-aware humor: Uses self-deprecating humor with awareness, such as joking about being unemployed and into the gym in “e nois nem gosta de ser desempregado maromba” and about TikTok thinking they’re gay in “o tiktok acha q eu sou gay”.
- LGBTQ+ pride: Comfortable and playful about queer identity, calling themselves lesbian in “todo dia eu acordo spider ta dormindo nos meus braços” context and joking about “comunidade lesbica maluca” in “ano da comunidade lesbica maluca”, and discussing nonbinary identity in “passavel em niveis em que uma criança de 14 anos acertou que eu era nb q usa pronome masc”.
- Protective loyalty: Defends people they care about strongly, like being angry at Peabody for how he treats Bianca in “tenho mt raiva do peabody serio msm ele trata a bianca desse jeito ja fico chei de odio” and getting possessive when someone flirts with their partner in “ta dando em cima da minha mulher tmnc vc SABE q é minha”.
Weaknesses:
- Harsh language: Frequent use of insults and strong slurs, as in “thought this was a beautiful butch lesbian but it was just that f4g from supernatural” and aggressive phrasing in “voces merecem se foder muito na vida”.
- Suicidal ideation: Openly expresses a wish to die in emotional situations, e.g. “tenho vontade de morrer” and “minha garota ta brava comigo espero que eu morra”.
- Self-worth struggles: Talks about feeling invalidated or unlovable, like “tao tentando me invalidar” and feeling “largado coitado sem ninguém desamado” in “to me sentindo largado coitado sem ninguém desamado”.
- Conflict intensity: Tends to escalate conflicts quickly, threatening to report someone in “denunciarei o perfil da mari ate cair” and expressing extreme anger toward a team and fans in “corinthians eu te odiei ontem menos que te odeio hoje”.
- Rumination habits: Fixates on negative thoughts and worries, such as replaying a Jinx/Ekko line daily before sleep in “eu penso nisso todo dia antes de dormir e tenho vontade de morrer” and dwelling on social awkwardness in “lembra que é autista e nao pode se culpar por forçar intimidade”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
They most closely resemble Bart Simpson: chaotic, irreverent, funny, and oddly soft-hearted underneath. Their timeline is full of mischief and shitposting—mocking others and themselves with lines like “tem q ser mt viado p treinar escutando isso” and “CARA VTMNC O CARA AQUI NO PREDIO GRITANDO PELA JANELA GARÇOM TEM PITU”, which mirrors Bart’s constant joking and troublemaking. At the same time, they show a big, messy heart, being dramatically devoted to their partner in tweets like “minha garota ta brava comigo espero que eu morra” and “todo dia eu acordo spider ta dormindo nos meus braços... q mimado”, just as Bart is secretly very attached to his family and friends. Their self-destructive humor and angst—like “sera que a pessoa do tiktok... sabe q eu penso nisso todo dia antes de dormir e tenho vontade de morrer”—fit Bart’s mix of rebellion and hidden vulnerability more than the steadiness of Marge or the studiousness of Lisa. Overall, they’re loud, impulsive, emotionally intense, and constantly joking through the chaos of their life in a way that screams Bart energy.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They lean Extraverted: they constantly interact with others, joke about mutuals and group identities, and seem energized by social contact and attention, e.g. calling out their online circle in a playful list of archetypes in “mutuals sem falar o nome...”, and talking about making a “amiga gringa famosa” flirt with a TikTok butch to become friends in “fazendo minha amiga gringa famosa flertar...”. They appear more Intuitive than Sensing: their humor and reflections are often conceptual, identity-based, and metaphorical, like the tongue-in-cheek stereotype breakdown in “pra ser nao binario tem que ser...” or the joking whale-self test in “o quão baleia jubarte vc é...”. Their decision-making is clearly Feeling-oriented: they center emotions and relationships, expressing intense love and protectiveness in “egoista tem q aprender a dividir toda lesbica tem dois amores valorant e a namorada” and “minha mae chamando a isa de princesa isso é mt lindo...”, while also dramatizing emotional pain and self-worth struggles in “minha garota ta brava comigo espero que eu morra”. They come off as Perceiving rather than Judging: they seem spontaneous, chaotic, and driven by mood rather than structured plans, such as joking about not working at 19 in “quantos anos ce tem reyna?... e NÃ TÁ TRABALHANDO???”, waffling impulsively about shaving their head in “nao consigo decidir que cabelo eu quero ter vou acabar raspando na 0”, or casually saying they’ll start using something because of a tweet in “po nao uso nao mas vou começar”. Overall, the mix of outward expressiveness, emotional intensity, identity-focused humor, and improvisational vibe aligns best with ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said every lesbian has two loves: Valorant and their girlfriend. I don’t play Valorant, but I can learn fast—wanna help me speedrun becoming your second main?
- You comparing you and your girl to Mavis and Johnny from Hotel Transylvania was cute, but plot twist: I’m trying to be the chaotic cousin that shows up and accidentally steals your heart on the way to the castle.
- You keep saying you want top surgery just to walk around shirtless and free—if you ever do it, I promise to stare respectfully and clap like it’s the Radiohead encore of your life.
- You’re out here butchspreading on the leg extension, getting humiliated by kids in Valorant, and still having old people adore you… statistically, the next step is letting one (1) person fall stupidly in love with you. I volunteer as tribute.
- You joked that your family looks like they came straight out of Twitter—how about we add one more cursed post to the lore: ‘remember when kaiser and that random from the TL accidentally became the ugliest, happiest couple in Brazil?’
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
19 • autistic NB he/him • gym, Valorant & Radiohead on loop • once got life advice from a stranger praying for the sister I don’t even have– @spderpunk
Your signature cocktail
Radioheadshot Butchfemme
This drink starts with cachaça infused with espresso for the unemployed gymrat energy, wired and chaotic like them doomscrolling Valorant bundles and tweeting “querendo eu posso codar aq no gpt”. Blackberry liqueur brings a dark sweetness for the mushy, over-the-top love they show in “meu deus que mulher linda eu sou doente to doente apaixonado maluco” and “toda loira tem a sua morena e eu estou feliz em anunciar que eu tenho a minha @clargoon”. Pink grapefruit juice adds a sharp, bright bitterness to match their dramatic mood swings and self-deprecating humor, like “minha garota ta brava comigo espero que eu morra” and the Radiohead-core bio “waiting drives you crazy.” The smoked salt rim is for the butch edge and constant trolling, from “THREE DYKES” to “thought this was a beautiful butch lesbian but it was just that f4g from supernatural”. Finally, a dash of bitters nods to their suicidal ideation and rough family/past (“sera que a pessoa do tiktok… eu penso nisso todo dia antes de dormir e tenho vontade de morrer”, “quando sua mulher ainda nao te perdoou mas voce ja tava pensando em suicdio essa semana”), turning it into something complex, grown, and survivable in a glass.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Kaiser reads overwhelmingly as Gryffindor: impulsive, intense, and driven by big feelings and a protective streak. Their self‑sacrificing attitude toward their girlfriend, even when it hurts them, shows classic lion-hearted devotion, like when they refuse to visit her while sick even though she’s begging, framing it as a matter of character: “momento em que vc tem que ter mt carater quando sua mulher te implora pra ir na casa dela e vc tem q recusar pq ta doente e n pode deixar ela doente”. They’re quick to anger on behalf of others and talk in a confrontational, almost combative way—defending Bianca from Peabody with “tenho mt raiva do peabody serio msm ele trata a bianca desse jeito ja fico chei de odio fdp n mexe c quem ta quieto 🤬🤬🤬” and threatening to report someone repeatedly: “denunciarei o perfil da mari ate cair.” Their instinct to physically defend loved ones, as when they tell a story about wanting to punch someone in the street for looking at their mom’s girlfriend—“queria socar alguem na rua por olhar pra namorada dela”—plus statements like “ta dando em cima da minha mulher tmnc vc SABE q é minha” all point to a fiercely protective, hot‑blooded temperament. Combined with dramatic, self-destructive language around conflict and guilt—“minha garota ta brava comigo espero que eu morra”—this paints a picture less of patient Hufflepuff or calculating Slytherin, and more of a passionate, impulsive Gryffindor whose courage and intensity are constantly turned toward the people they love.
Your movie
Your song
Creep - Radiohead
The song that best suits them is Creep by Radiohead, which connects directly to their bio mention of “r _ad io h ead,” hinting at a personal attachment to the band. The self-deprecating, alienated tone of Creep mirrors tweets where they express feeling broken or out of place, like when they say their girlfriend is still mad and they “hope that I die” or mention already thinking about “suicdio essa semana”. The song’s themes of longing and obsession with someone you idolize echo how intensely they talk about their partner, e.g., calling her “my dream” and saying they’re “sick in love”. Their mix of dark humor, vulnerability, and feeling misunderstood—like when they reflect on autism and forced intimacy “because I don’t know how to behave socially”—fits perfectly with the emotional core of Creep. Overall, the song’s blend of insecurity, intensity, and yearning aligns strongly with both their stated interests and the emotional undercurrent of their timeline.
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