Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally-aware: Talks openly about heartbreak and angst in relationships, e.g. “there's something so poetic about gay heartbreaking angst”, showing reflection on feelings.
- Community-oriented: Actively looks for connections and moots, e.g. “17 18 yos of shedtwt or yaoitwt, where r yall” and “if u want to be mooties, ask!!”.
- Affectionate: Frequently expresses love and gratitude to others, such as “OMG THANK U SM 😭😭😭 love you 🫶🏻🫶🏻” and “aww ily too, thank you!!”.
- Humorous: Uses self-deprecating jokes and absurdity, like “js texted my mom 'im farting a lot' while she's at work” and “i might have hemorrhoids”.
- Socially-aware: Comments critically on social topics, e.g. “i think yall forget that latina is not a race” and “idolizing bad people is not quirky”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Openly romanticizes or struggles with self-harm and ED behavior, e.g. “oh to be back in my prime where i bedrotted, cut everyday and was good at starving” and “when u plan to cut at a certain time but u get so distracted that u forget”.
- Body-dysmorphic: Repeatedly insults their own body and weight, like “SO FAT SO FAT SO FAT” and “weighing yourself is like taking the stairs down to the pathway of hell”.
- Boundary-blurring: Shares very graphic or intimate content publicly, such as “my butthole is swollen” and “i might have hemorrhoids”.
- Attachment-prone: Shows intense reactions to relationships and moots, e.g. “i think im developing a fp fml” and feeling hurt when ignored in “yall forgot me after my hit tweets. fake ass hoes”.
- Pessimistic: Often frames life in bleak terms, like “when im stressing about school but then i realise its fine because we all die in 7 days” and “the urge to impulsively ruin your entire life”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Vanya matches Bart Simpson most closely: chaotic, attention-seeking, and darkly comedic but with flashes of vulnerability. Like Bart, he thrives on being noticed and getting "hit tweets," as seen in posts like “HIT TWEET?” and “HOLY SHIT ALMOST 100 NEW FOLLOWERS OVERNIGHT???”. His crude humor and oversharing—such as “my butthole is swollen” and “i might have hemorrhoids”—fit Bart’s irreverent, boundary-pushing style. At the same time, there’s real emotional turmoil and self-destructiveness behind the jokes, like “oh to be back in my prime where i bedrotted, cut everyday and was good at starving” and “when u plan to cut at a certain time but u get so distracted that u forget”, echoing Bart’s hidden insecurity beneath his clowning. His mix of flirtiness, dramatics, and morbid humor—“when im stressing about school but then i realise its fine because we all die in 7 days” and “emo x jock gay ships >>>>”—rounds out a very Bart-like persona: messy, provocative, but emotionally complex.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESTP
They show clear Extraverted tendencies: they openly seek interaction and attention, asking for more moots and engagement, e.g. “goodnight send gimmicks to cheer me up”, “if u want to be mooties, ask!! bc i selectively follow back”, and celebrating follower growth in “HOLY SHIT ALMOST 100 NEW FOLLOWERS OVERNIGHT???”. Their focus is strongly concrete and sensory, talking about body, food, pain, and physical experiences rather than abstract theory, like “i might have hemorrhoids”, “my butthole is swollen”, and “i have been so bad at starving sigh”, which suggests Sensing. The tone is blunt, cutting, and often prioritizes sharp honesty over harmony, such as “oh my god i can tell nobody loves you 😭😭”, “ppl who refer to themselves as puppy, doll, little and such r so cringe”, and “idolizing bad people is not quirky”, indicating Thinking over Feeling. Their tweets show impulsivity and a go‑with‑the‑moment style rather than structured planning: they talk about impulsive self-destructive urges in “the urge to impulsively ruin your entire life” and mood-based behavior like “when u plan to cut at a certain time but u get so distracted that u forget”, which fits Perceiving. Combined with their bio note “ESTP , 1w2” in this intro tweet, their behavior and self-identification line up well with ESTP: socially engaged, sensation-seeking, blunt, and spontaneous.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said “yaoi makes me happy, yuri makes me jealous” — if it helps, I volunteer as the jealous reason. We can test the yaoi part together and write our own tragic ship with a happy ending for once.
- You’re over there wishing to see the novel’s epilogue like Kim Dokja, but I’m just trying to get a prologue with you — chapter one: you rant about men kissing, chapter two: I prove you wrong in HD.
- You said weighing yourself is like taking the stairs down to the pathway of hell — so skip the stairs, come straight to my DMs, and we’ll replace the scale with me obsessively reassuring you how hot you look in every pfp.
- You keep saying you were in your prime when you ‘bedrotted, cut everyday and were good at starving’ — I think your real prime is future!Vanya: 18, healed enough, rereading gay heartbreaking angst with me and complaining about purity culture together.
- You’re an 18 y/o he/him, slavic, ESTP, living off yaoitwt, demon king Dokja thirst and ‘men making out’ — statistically speaking, I am exactly your target audience. So, emo x jock gay ships >>>> right? Can I audition as the himbo jock to your spicy seme?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Vanya, 18, he/him. Part-time yaoi connoisseur, full-time overthinker. Once texted my mom “I’m farting a lot” by accident—been humbled since.– @SPICYSEME
Your signature cocktail
The Demon Dokja Disaster (Vanya Edition)
The spiced dark rum is for their unhinged, horny yaoi seme energy and constant brainrot over men—see “OMG MEN MAKING OUT” and “hell yeah dokja getting fisted”. Blood orange juice stands in for the self-destructive, shedtwt vibes and cutting jokes like “when u plan to cut at a certain time but u get so distracted that u forget” and “oh to be back in my prime where i bedrotted, cut everyday and was good at starving”. Blackcurrant liqueur adds a dark, fruity sweetness for their dramatic, romantic angst about tragic ships and emo/jock dynamics in “there's something so poetic about gay heartbreaking angst” and “emo x jock gay ships >>>>”. Sour cherry syrup captures the mix of ego and insecurity—sour but cute—like “ego so high i gen thjnk i look like a model” and “SO FAT SO FAT SO FAT”. Finally, a fizzy energy drink topper matches their chaotic, high-strung timeline—begging for gimmicks and moots in “how i feel begging for gimmicks” and “how do i get more mooties on shedtwt again”—turning the whole thing into an experimental, volatile cocktail that hits like a late-night Vanya tweet spree.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Vanya shows a consistently sharp, cutting social style and a willingness to provoke, which aligns strongly with Slytherin’s edge and self-preservation. They’re openly strategic about social interactions and follows, saying they “selectively follow back” and inviting people to apply to be moots in a controlled way: “if u want to be mooties, ask!! bc i selectively follow back” and “follow limited... ill try to follow most of yall back soon”. Their humor is often ruthless and confrontational, like telling someone “oh my god i can tell nobody loves you 😭😭” or dismissing others with “cant relate. yall are useless”, which reflects Slytherin’s biting tongue and readiness to defend their own emotional territory. They also display ambition and a focus on status within their niche, bragging about “hit tweets” and follower growth: “HOLY SHIT ALMOST 100 NEW FOLLOWERS OVERNIGHT???” and “i keep getting hit tweets”. Even their dark romanticism and desire for intense, transgressive experiences—e.g., “i want to be cut while making love but if i asked anyone to do that, they'd surely get weirded out”—fit Slytherin’s taste for extremes and taboo, rather than the idealism of Gryffindor or the warmth of Hufflepuff.
Your movie
Your song
Teen Idle - MARINA
A song that best suits Vanya is Teen Idle by MARINA, because it mixes dark humor, self-destructive urges, and dramatic teenage melancholy in the same way his timeline does. He openly romanticizes self-destruction and numbness, like when he says “oh to be back in my prime where i bedrotted, cut everyday and was good at starving” and “when u plan to cut at a certain time but u get so distracted that u forget”, which mirrors the song’s fixation on wasted youth and self-harm. The song’s themes of body hatred and dysmorphia fit tweets like “SO FAT SO FAT SO FAT” and “weighing yourself is like taking the stairs down to the pathway of hell”. At the same time, his performative ego and darkly playful posting, such as “ego so high i gen thjnk i look like a model” and “born to swing my dick around forced to be afab..”, echo the song’s mix of glamor, irony, and despair. Overall, Teen Idle captures both his hyper-online theatrical persona and the underlying pain he keeps turning into aesthetics and jokes.
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