
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, particularly her anxious overthinking, intensity, and self-critical nature. Like Lisa, they intellectualize and track everything, obsessing over numbers and performance, shown in posts about calories, fasting, and weight like “i hate this stupid disorder i hate being so scared of calories there is absolutely no reason for me to think that a 200cal intake for the ENTIRE DAY is gonna make me gain one billion pounds…” and “i have to put yesterdays food into chowtracker bc i was too embarrassed to do it yesterday but im so lazy”. Their emotional intensity and self-directed frustration echo Lisa’s depressive and perfectionistic arcs, for instance “i’m so anxious right now for no reason i lowk wanna cut 😭😭😭😭😭😭” and “i’m actually so pissed off at myself i feel so gross”. The way they jokingly aestheticize their struggles, such as “getting a cavity filled so my mouth will be numb so i can’t eat follow for more ed tips and tricks” and “eating disorder tips and tricks: be broke so you don’t have the money to buy food even if you wanted to”, fits Lisa’s blend of dark humor and earnest pain. Their introspection about family and stress, like “my mom just said ‘you seem stressed are you stressed’ yes bruh i’m eating one billion calories a day and im fat and im greasy and i have to do laundry and my vape is burnt”, also mirrors Lisa’s complicated home life and tendency to carry the emotional weight of everything around her.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as more introverted than extroverted: their social world is mostly online, and they worry about people they know seeing the account, e.g. “if this post shows up on anyone who i know’s timeline this whole account is getting nuked immediately”, which shows a preference for a controlled, private space over broad social exposure. Their focus is very intuitive: even when referencing concrete things like calories or weight, they frame them in symbolic or exaggerated ways, like “my beautiful mind palace i’m still 107 108” and “MADE IT OUT OF BMI 21 JAIL”, turning stats into metaphors and narratives. They are clearly feeling-oriented: they process life through emotion and relationships, e.g. “this is so genuinely me teetering back and forth between telling my bf i relapsed” and “i hate this stupid disorder i hate being so scared of calories… but i can’t get my brain to realize that”, which shows intense emotional self-reflection rather than detached logic. Their lifestyle and language suggest perceiving over judging: they swing between intentions and impulses, like “i don’t wanna fast anymore but i also don’t wanna eat maybe i should just die instead” and “didn’t fast for a whole 24h … BUT i did have a very low intake today so it’s better than what we have been doing”, showing flexible, reactive behavior rather than rigid structure. They also frequently joke in chaotic, stream-of-consciousness ways such as “my mom just said ‘you seem stressed are you stressed’ yes bruh i’m eating one billion calories a day and im fat and im greasy and i have to do laundry and my vape is burnt”, which fits the spontaneous, emotionally expressive INFP style rather than a methodical J type.

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Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
20 • she/her • statistics brain, Beach Boys on loop, chronic overthinker. Once called Ozempic “cheating” at family dinner and meant every word.– @spoiledfxckface

Your signature cocktail
The Diet Pepsi Relapse Fizz starts with diet cola, a nod to their username and their devotion to the bit in “the concept of diet pepsi being free”. A clean, no-nonsense vodka shot reflects the blunt, chaotic honesty of tweets like “eating disorder tips and tricks: be broke so you don’t have the money to buy food even if you wanted to”. Sugar-free vanilla syrup adds a faux-sweetness, mirroring the mix of self-deprecation and sincerity in “i hate this stupid disorder i hate being so scared of calories”. The lime squeeze brings a sharp, anxious tang, echoing “i’m so anxious right now for no reason i lowk wanna cut 😭😭😭😭😭😭”. Finally, crushed ice with a pinch of sea salt represents the tears, sweat, and stubborn resilience behind lines like “i don’t wanna fast anymore but i also don’t wanna eat maybe i should just die instead” and the dark humor of “getting a cavity filled so my mouth will be numb so i can’t eat follow for more ed tips and tricks”.

Your Hogwarts House
Their mindset is intensely goal- and results-oriented in a way that aligns most with Slytherin ambition and self-preservation. They repeatedly frame weight loss in terms of "locking in" and using every possible edge, like treating a weight gain as something that will "give me the motivation to actually lock in" in “weighed myself and i gained (who’s surprised) but this will give me the motivation to actually lock in”, or celebrating getting out of “BMI 21 jail” in “MADE IT OUT OF BMI 21 JAIL fasting unfortunately DOES work!!!!!!!”. They are also highly resourceful and strategic in using circumstances and tools as "tips and tricks," like joking about dental work and money problems as functional tactics: “getting a cavity filled so my mouth will be numb so i can’t eat follow for more ed tips and tricks” and “eating disorder tips and tricks: be broke so you don’t have the money to buy food even if you wanted to”. Their self-image is wrapped up in control and presentation—"if this post shows up on anyone who i know’s timeline this whole account is getting nuked immediately" in this tweet shows a strong instinct for protecting their secrets and curating who sees what, which is classic Slytherin self-preservation. Even their enthusiasm about using nicotine to suppress hunger—"i’m gonna be so much better at restricting when i have a vape again IM SO EXCITED" in this tweet—underscores a willingness to push themselves with single-minded focus toward a (however unhealthy) goal. Overall, the combination of fixation on outcomes, tactical thinking, secrecy, and intense self-preserving control fits Slytherin far better than the other houses.

Your movie

Your song
A song that best suits them is Hunger by Florence + The Machine, because it captures the mix of pain, self-destruction, and dark humor they show on edtwt. The song is literally about turning deep hurt and emptiness into an eating disorder and other self-destructive coping mechanisms, which mirrors tweets like “i hate this stupid disorder i hate being so scared of calories...” and “i don’t wanna fast anymore but i also don’t wanna eat maybe i should just die instead”. Their constant fixation on fasting and restriction in tweets such as “MADE IT OUT OF BMI 21 JAIL fasting unfortunately DOES work!!!!!!!” and “i’m so tempted to eat again someone help 😭😭😭 i’m trying to get to 24h im on hour 12” reflects the lyric theme of seeking control through hunger. The way they joke about it to cope, like “getting a cavity filled so my mouth will be numb so i can’t eat follow for more ed tips and tricks” and “eating disorder tips and tricks: be broke so you don’t have the money to buy food even if you wanted to”, also aligns with the song’s contrast between a bright sound and very dark subject matter. Overall, Hunger fits their mix of vulnerability, self-loathing, and wry, online-native humor around their disorder.

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