Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Socially Active: Frequently reaches out to friends to play pool, go out, or chat on AIM, such as when “goin to play some pool with peoples”.
- Work Ethic: Consistently reports for shifts, including back-to-back long hours as seen in “wrkn again today 4 12”.
- Loyal Friend: Expresses deep appreciation for close relationships, stating they “have the best best friend i can ask for”.
- Sports Enthusiast: Shows passion for local teams and respect for competition, notably when the “PATRIOTS BEAT THE BILLS”.
- Resilient Attitude: Maintains a fighting spirit during tough times, claiming “Corey doesnt go down without a figh”.
Weaknesses:
- Poor Spelling: Consistently misspells basic words and omits letters, for example writing “nuttin to dorite now”.
- Oversharing: Posts repetitive, mundane updates about eating or napping, such as “eatin a bagel lol bored”.
- Attention Seeking: Repeatedly posts his AIM handle and asks for calls when “Bored”.
- Mood Volatility: Shifts quickly between being happy and being in a “w/e mood” where he doesn't want to talk.
- Aggressive Communication: Uses intimidating language to describe himself as a “WORST ENEMY U SEE IN UR NIGHTMARES”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Like Bart, Corey displays a mischievous and defiant streak, often framing himself as a tough figure who “doesn't go down without a fight” and can be your “worst enemy u see in ur nightmares”. He shares Bart's love for juvenile humor, specifically endorsing prank calling by stating “prankdial is awesome!”. His tweets often reflect a typical rebellious teenager's life, filled with boredom, late-night rock music, and a preoccupation with his “freakn awsome” costume. Ultimately, Corey’s mix of prankster energy and his desire to be seen as a formidable “big boy” aligns perfectly with the spirit of The Simpsons' resident troublemaker.
Your MBTI personality Type
ESFP
Corey exhibits Extroversion (E) through a constant desire for social interaction, frequently posting his AIM handle and inviting others to “call me if nythin” or join him for activities. His focus on the present moment, such as “eatin a bagel lol bored” and watching sports, aligns with Sensing (S), as he prioritizes immediate physical experiences over abstract concepts. His Feeling (F) preference is clear in his emotionally charged updates about his “bestie” and his admission that “nuttin feels betta than wen u talk things out”. Finally, he demonstrates Perceiving (P) by living spontaneously, often tweeting about being “out nd about” or deciding to “go out for the night” on a whim without rigid plans.
Some pickup lines for you
- I heard you were looking for a 'jester' costume, but I promise if you take me out to pool, I’ll be the only prize you want to take home.
- Is your phone still 'grrrrrrrrrr' not working? Because I’d love to move this conversation to AIM and see if your screen name is as cute as your tweets.
- I'm no Kanye, but I’m definitely going to let you finish... as long as it’s over some Friday night soup with me.
- You said you can be a dream or a nightmare, but after seeing your taste in music, I’m ready to jam out to Skillet and take the risk.
- Since you’re already a pro at 'hosting' and 'pool action,' how about you host me for a date? I promise I won't need a prank dial to tell you I'm interested.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Lawrence local & Patriots fan. I’ve survived 12-hour shifts and the infamous 2009 VMAs. Always ready for pool night or a bagel. AIM me: ixsquirrel95o4xi 🐿️– @Squirrelc
Your signature cocktail
The 4-to-12 Jester Juice
This drink captures Corey’s hardworking spirit and his penchant for late-night adventures, specifically inspired by his frequent shifts “workin 4 12”. The dark blackberry muddle reflects his occasional edgy, protective side where he warns, “SIMPLE FACT ABOUT COREY: I CAN BE THE BEST FRIEND YOU DREAM ABOUT OR THE WORST ENEMY U SEE IN UR NIGHTMARES”. To honor his fun-loving Halloween spirit, the drink is served with a garnish to match when his “jester cane came in”. Finally, the high-proof rum floater is a nod to his tough-talking alter ego: “if the truth hurts than call me DR.Pain haha”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Corey exhibits strong Slytherin traits of self-preservation and a defensive, confrontational approach to his social reputation. He explicitly frames himself as a formidable opponent, tweeting, “I CAN BE THE BEST FRIEND YOU DREAM ABOUT OR THE WORST ENEMY U SEE IN UR NIGHTMARES” and “know that i dont go down without a figh”. His focus on status and 'winning' is evident in his lack of empathy for others in competitive or public settings, such as when he says Taylor Swift “gotta learn to take that stuff no pity fo the girle”. This blend of resourcefulness, pride, and a “lookin down on you” attitude towards those who challenge him aligns perfectly with the house of ambition and cunning.
Your movie
Your song
The Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace
Corey’s online persona in 2009 is deeply rooted in the edgy, angst-driven rock culture of the era, frequently oscillating between high spirits and intense, defensive moods. He explicitly defines himself through a duality of character, stating, “I CAN BE THE BEST FRIEND YOU DREAM ABOUT OR THE WORST ENEMY U SEE IN UR NIGHTMARES”, which mirrors the struggle with an inner 'beast' found in hard rock lyrics. His interest in the band Skillet and his boastful warning to “just know in the end ill still be standing lookin down on you” suggest he views himself as a defiant survivor. This song best suits his self-described “DR.Pain” alter-ego and his tendency to post cryptic, aggressive reflections on his personal relationships.
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