
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
The user is most like Lisa Simpson: intelligent, intensely driven, and self-critical. Like Lisa obsessing over her grades and saxophone, they hyper-focus on ballet and performance, talking about auditions and extra training, such as “Today im gonna go a 1hr vaganova followalong class, and a 1hr Katheryn Morgan class (I hope 🧍♂️)” and “Teaching myself the old fashioned way (copying vaganova exams starting at grade 1)”. Their perfectionism and harsh self-judgment mirror Lisa’s insecurities: “Had an ed for 2 years and im still not skinny 💔” and “I have an audition tomorrow, but im lowkey, not skinny enough, so I wanna kill myself”. The autism mention in their bio and their analytical, numbers-based tracking of calories, protein, and steps echo Lisa’s cerebral, overthinking nature, seen in tweets like “I figured out how to get 90g protein in 700cals” and “Wait if I stick to 500 free cals ill be ugw just before my birthday”. Despite the dark context of edtwt, the combination of ambition, structure, and emotional intensity places them closest to Lisa rather than more carefree or chaotic characters like Bart or Homer.

Your MBTI personality Type
They lean Introvert (I): their life centers on solitary routines like walking to hit 10k steps, pacing alone, running to ballet, and studying Vaganova exams at home, e.g. “Got to my train 50 mins early just so I can pace on the empty platform #meow” and “Teaching myself the old fashioned way (copying vaganova exams starting at grade 1)”. Their focus shows Intuition (N) more than Sensing: they obsess over meaning, standards, and future outcomes (UGW, auditions, life shaped by one friend), like “The fact that everything about my life now can be tied back to my best friend in year 3 is crazy to me” and “Losing a kg a week will make me ugw by september...”. They seem Feeling (F)-oriented, framing everything through emotional pain, self-worth, and relationships rather than detached logic, for instance “I have an audition tomorrow, but im lowkey, not skinny enough, so I wanna kill myself” and “Had an ed for 2 years and im still not skinny 💔”. Finally, they lean Judging (J): they love plans, rules, and structure—liquid diets, OMAD, detailed calorie limits, weight-loss reward systems, step targets, and timelines, as in “Weightloss Rewards, except im scared of spending my savings, so I've just put every expensive thibg i want down” and “Wait if I stick to 500 free cals ill be ugw just before my birthday”. Taken together, an intense inner world, future-focused ideals, emotional intensity, and rigid self-structure fit INFJ best.

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16 • he/they • ballet + 10k steps before 8am • survives on oats, yoghurt experiments & too much Monster • once paced a platform for 50 mins for extra steps– @starvingteddy

Your signature cocktail
This drink starts with a sharp espresso shot, echoing their hyper, restless grind and early-morning step counts, like “10k steps at 7.26am” and pacing on platforms in “Got to my train 50 mins early just so I can pace on the empty platform #meow”. It’s topped with sparkling water and lemon for the fizzy, hopeful energy of auditions and dream courses, as in “I have an audition today (thursday) and Sunday, the one on sunday is a harder audition but it is also my dream course so....”. Sugar-free vanilla syrup nods to their obsession with low-cal sweetness and protein treats, seen in “I think my diet may be 50% protein yoghurt at this point” and “Im omading yoghurt cheesecake #protein”. A dash of saline/sea salt represents the tears, frustration, and self-criticism around weight and auditions, like “how slow im losing is genuinely making me lose my mind, ive been stuck between 77 and 74 for legit 3 months” and “I have an audition tomorrow, but im lowkey, not skinny enough, so I wanna kill myself”. Finally, edible silver shimmer captures the stage lights, ballet dreams, and their fixation on elite standards such as “The chest bones on this years Prix De Lausanne students are insane” and the Vaganova chart in “The most motivating thing for me is the line in the vaganova weight standard chart that says that girls who weigh over 50kg can't do partnering class”. This cocktail is light but intense, bittersweet yet sparkly—just like a cardio-obsessed ballet kid running on too little fuel and very big dreams.

Your Hogwarts House
Alexander’s mindset is intensely goal- and results-oriented, especially around weight and ballet, which leans strongly Slytherin. They carefully plan extreme regimens to reach their “ugw,” calculating timelines like in “Losing a kg a week will make me ugw by september...” and “Wait if I stick to 500 free cals ill be ugw just before my birthday”, showing long‑term strategic ambition rather than just impulsive behavior. They also show a willingness to endure discomfort and bend everything in life around this goal, such as liquid diets and fasting despite intense hunger in “Liquid diet on hold because my dad is forcing dinner on me” and “I might fast until my ballet class tommorow”. Even their admiration of elite, ultra-competitive standards in ballet, like “The most motivating thing for me is the line in the vaganova weight standard chart that says that girls who weigh over 50kg can't do partnering class”, reflects a Slytherin-like fixation on status, selectivity, and being “good enough” to belong in a rarefied group. While there are hints of hard work and persistence (which could look Hufflepuff), the dominant thread is ambition fused with self-sacrificing strategy to achieve a very specific vision of success, which aligns most with Slytherin.

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Your song
A well‑suited song for Alexander is “Control” by Halsey, because it captures the feeling of being consumed by an inner voice and constantly trying to wrestle control back. Their whole account revolves around obsessive structure, numbers, and restriction, like “Losing a kg a week will make me ugw by september...” and “Wait if I stick to 500 free cals ill be ugw just before my birthday”, which mirrors the song’s fixation on control and damage. Tweets such as “Call me ana herself” and “Had an ed for 2 years and im still not skinny 💔” align with the song’s themes of self‑destruction and a mind that feels like a monster living inside. Their exhaustion and hopelessness about their body, as in “how slow im losing is genuinely making me lose my mind” and “I have an audition tomorrow, but im lowkey, not skinny enough, so I wanna kill myself”, echo the darkness and emotional volatility in the lyrics. The constant tension between ambition (ballet, auditions) and self‑hate makes Control a powerful mirror for how their inner world reads through their timeline.

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starvingteddy
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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