stoicgooner
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Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Humorous: Rob's tweets, like 'Day 14 of asking @jerrykelly13pga for a signed cologuard hat,' reflect his ability to find and create humor in absurd, everyday situations.
- Persistent: His ongoing Jerry Kelly hat saga shows a commitment to running jokes and sticking to a bit for an extended period.
- Observant: Tweets like 'First Senator to ban semis from driving anywhere other than right lane gets everything in my bank account' show his ability to notice and comment on minor annoyances or societal quirks.
- Philosophical: His username 'stoicgooner' and tweets like 'Hold the line, love isn’t always on time' suggest he enjoys reflecting on life in a deeper way.
- Adaptable: He can turn awkward or frustrating situations, like being stuck on I-77, into humorous content, showcasing his ability to make the best of things.
Weaknesses:
- Edgy Humor: Tweets like 'Tom Holman and Eric Adams on Fox and friends, retard central' push boundaries and might offend some readers.
- Cynical: Comments like 'Not interested one bit in the “ludveg era”' show a tendency to dismiss things outright, which could come across as overly negative.
- Overly Sarcastic: His bio disclaimer 'any opinion expressed is not mine' and sarcastic tweets can make it hard to discern when he's being serious.
- Procrastinator: His repeated vow 'I will not redownload hinge, I will not redownload hinge' suggests a struggle with follow-through on personal resolutions.
- Blunt: Tweets like 'Why don’t they have weight listed on dating apps yet, Trump is president!!!' reflect a lack of tact that could alienate some people.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
Rob's irreverent humor, persistence in running gags, and tendency to push boundaries make him a perfect match for Bart Simpson. Like Bart, Rob thrives on mischief, as seen in his Jerry Kelly hat tweets and edgy remarks like 'As landlord did rape technically happen at my home tonight, yes, do I care or will I investigate, No.' Both share a knack for turning everyday situations into comedic opportunities and have a rebellious streak that keeps things interesting.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENTP
Rob's personality aligns with the ENTP type: outgoing, witty, and always up for a debate. His extraversion shines in his humorous, attention-grabbing tweets like the Jerry Kelly saga. His intuitive side is evident in his ability to find humor in everyday situations, like being stuck on I-77. His thinking side is reflected in his sharp, sarcastic humor, while his perceiving nature is shown in his adaptability and willingness to engage with the absurd. ENTPs thrive on chaos and creativity, much like Rob.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Jerry Kelly hat? Because I've been asking for you every day of my life.
- Is your name Zyn? Because I'd use all my strength to open up to you.
- You must be a minor league hockey game, because you just scored big in my heart.
- Are you stuck on I-77? Because I'd spend hours live-tweeting my love for you.
- Are you a dating app? Because I keep swiping right on you in my dreams.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Rob Parker | 24 | Sarcasm connoisseur & sports enthusiast | Master of absurd humor (Day 14 of asking Jerry Kelly for a hat) | Stoic with a side of chaos | Opinions? Not mine, probably.– @stoicgooner
Your signature cocktail
The Sarcastic Slinger
The 'Sarcastic Slinger' captures Rob's sharp, edgy humor with a bold whiskey base and a kick of ginger beer. The dash of bitters reflects his cynical side, while the lime juice adds a zesty, playful twist, much like his tweets about dating apps and Jerry Kelly. The salt rim mirrors his blunt, no-nonsense commentary, making this drink a perfect representation of his personality. It’s a cocktail that’s equal parts bold, funny, and unforgettable.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Rob fits Slytherin's traits of wit, ambition, and a penchant for pushing boundaries. His tweet 'Tom Holman and Eric Adams on Fox and friends, retard central' reflects his sharp, edgy humor, while his persistence in the Jerry Kelly saga shows ambition and determination. Slytherins are also known for their resourcefulness, which Rob demonstrates by turning mundane events, like being stuck on I-77, into entertaining content. His occasional cynicism and bluntness align with the house's reputation for being unapologetically themselves.
Your movie
Your song
Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Green Day
This song's mix of sarcasm, introspection, and rebellious energy mirrors Rob's Twitter persona. His username 'stoicgooner' and reflective tweets like 'Hold the line, love isn’t always on time' align with the song's contemplative tone. Meanwhile, his edgy humor and irreverent remarks, like 'Tom Holman and Eric Adams on Fox and friends, retard central,' reflect the song's defiant attitude. It's a fitting anthem for his mix of stoicism and chaos.
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