Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: Open about guessing their current weight and limits, e.g. asking for help in “can i admit that i dont actually know my cw and im just guessing cuz i cant afford a scale” and reflecting on over/undereating in daily calorie posts.
- Humorous: Uses jokes and playful tone even about mundane things, like “never omad taco bell ive been on the toilet for 30 minutes” and “if you argue in public i WILL be listening”.
- Community-oriented: Actively seeks mutuals and responds to others, shown by 'ifb' comments and “i always check my following to make sure i follow everyone back cuz it pisses me off when people say 'ifb !!' and never do”.
- Curious: Frequently asks practical questions, like “are there any apps that have both calorie counters and step counters ?”, “any razor recommendations ?”, and about keloid scars.
- Emotionally honest: Openly shares feelings of hunger, guilt, and loneliness, such as “i feel like my friends dont like me lowke” and “life getting so bad not even suicide is a viable option anymore”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-destructive: Frequently glorifies self-harm, e.g. “my name is cory and i really like cutting myself” and “i love cutting . i am not neutral i am not against i am FOR . i LOVE TO CUT MYSELF !!!”.
- Disordered-eating: Engages heavily in edtwt behaviors, like meticulous calorie logging, “binged so bad today im not even gonna post my daily calories thing”, and distress over hunger and weight goals.
- Impulsive-coping: Turns quickly to self-harm or extreme actions when distressed, seen in posts like “ive decided to reward myself with a big sesh 2nite... expect a post soon” and planning relapses with purchased blades.
- Low-self-worth: Expresses strong self-hatred and hopelessness, such as “i dont really like being gay”, feeling hated by mods, and “life getting so bad not even suicide is a viable option anymore”.
- Risk-normalization: Normalizes dangerous behavior by treating it as casual or aesthetic, e.g. wanting deep cuts because “scars with stitches look very cool” and excitement about razors for self-harm sessions.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They’re most like Lisa Simpson: smart, hyper‑self‑aware, and constantly overthinking everything, including food and body image. Like Lisa, they have strong opinions about their niche communities and ethics, complaining that “the only 2 active shtwt communities kinda fucking suck” and that some people on edtwt are “fucking evil” in “some of u edtwt mfs are fucking evil dude”. Their mix of dark humor and vulnerability mirrors Lisa’s tendency to joke through pain, as seen in “life getting so bad not even suicide is a viable option anymore” and the bitter honesty of “i think im gonna go 2 daiso 4 my birthday . yay”. They’re observant and a bit nosy—very Lisa-coded—admitting “if you argue in public i WILL be listening”. Underneath the edge and self-harm fixation, there’s a sensitive, lonely teenager trying to make sense of themselves and their world, much like Lisa does throughout the series.
Your MBTI personality Type
ISFP
They seem more introverted than extroverted: their fun mostly comes from solitary or online activities like playing bass clarinet, bass guitar, TF2, and TBoI (“i play bass clarinet & bass guitar 𝄢 i like tf2 + tboi”), and a lot of their world is their internal struggle with self-harm and eating, not offline social scenes. Their focus is strongly sensory/experiential (S) rather than abstract: they talk in concrete details about food calories (“so i had a medium thin crust pepperoni pizza from dominos with garlic parm bites + ranch and buffalo dips so 720 cals for that and i had a pepsi so thats like 300 so like 1000 total”), body weight, pain levels, bandages, specific razors, and infection care (“how do i treat infected bb beans ..... pls help”). Emotion and personal values dominate their tone, pointing to Feeling (F) over Thinking; they’re very open about feeling hated or guilty (“i feel like my friends dont like me lowke”, “definitely overate and i feel awful . whatever”) and often phrase things in terms of how they or others feel rather than formal logic. They look more perceiving (P) than judging: they rarely talk about long-term structured plans and instead move impulsively between urges and actions (“ive decided to reward myself with a big sesh 2nite... expect a post soon”, “SESH TODAY . HOPEFULLY”), and their calorie tracking and routines seem reactive and guilt-driven rather than strictly organized. Taken together—intense private emotions, sensory focus on body/pain/food, artistic interests (music, drawing using scar references), and a spontaneous, urge-driven lifestyle—ISFP (introverted, sensory, feeling, perceiving) is the best-fitting MBTI type for @th1ckblooded.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said you’d be ‘listening’ if anyone argues in public — good, because I fully intend to start a heated debate about whether bass clarinet or bass guitar is the superior instrument just to get your attention.
- You’re out here calculating Panera soup calories to the black line on the cup; meanwhile I’m just trying to calculate the odds you’ll let me take you on a date where the only number you worry about is how many times I make you laugh.
- You keep checking that you follow everyone back because IFB etiquette matters to you — can we upgrade that to IFB + ‘infinitely flirting back’ if I say you deserve a community that treats you way better than shtwt ever has?
- You play TF2 and like TBoI, so if we queued together I’d main pocket medic and give you permanent Über, because honestly, protecting you sounds more fun than speedrunning another run of self‑destruct jokes.
- You joked that life’s so bad not even suicide feels like a viable option — I can’t fix everything, but I can promise to be the annoying guy who keeps sending you dumb bass riffs and Spongebob popsicle memes until staying alive feels at least slightly more entertaining than the alternative.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Cory, 17 | Bass clarinet & bass guitar enjoyer | TF2 & TBoI fan | Once learned more about bandages from the internet than from health class.– @th1ckblooded
Your signature cocktail
The Hungry Nightvision Sprout
Matcha-infused soju gives a jittery, wired kick that fits someone who says “IM SO HUNGRY” yet still micromanages every calorie like in “todays cals . definitely overate and i feel awful . whatever”. Blackberry syrup adds a dark sweetness for the dramatic, shtwt-poetic side that posts things like “life getting so bad not even suicide is a viable option anymore”. Grapefruit soda keeps it sharp, fizzy, and a bit bitter, like complaining that “the only 2 active shtwt communities kinda fucking suck oh my godddd” while still chasing connection with “guys !!! respond pls”. A pinch of smoked sea salt represents the sting and rawness of self-awareness in lines like “my name is cory and i really like cutting myself 𝄢 probably actively getting worse”. The thyme sprig is for the tiny hopeful sprout in “sprouts”, a reminder that even a self-proclaimed chaos account that jokes about “never omad taco bell ive been on the toilet for 30 minutes” still has something green and living growing out of the mess.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Cory shows strong Slytherin-style ambition and fixation on self-transformation, especially around weight and body image, like when they write “cw: 57kg ★*☆♪ gw: 45kg” and react to someone else’s stats with “65 kg ,??? im 57 and i know i am overweight for my height no way 65 kg is right”. There’s a calculated, almost strategic approach to both self-harm and tools: they ask for razor optimization and gear in posts like “any razor recommendations ?” and “buying myself box cutters and bandaids for my birthday this saturday !!!”, and even discuss infection management in “how do i treat infected bb beans ..... pls help”. Their involvement in morally gray communities (#shtwt, #kleptotwt, #edtwt) and casual attitude about theft in tweets like “is daiso easy 2 borrow from ? hows their camera system more so” and “mom just said the second worst thing to murder is stealing bro im crine” reflect Slytherin’s comfort with bending rules. They are also highly resourceful and pragmatic about their situation, even when it’s dark, asking things like “will 2000 mg of ibuprofen have any threat to my health aside from me feeling like shit tomorrow” and searching for ways to blunt hunger when poor in “any tips on how to get rid of the 'hungry feeling' ? this is less for starving more im poor and i dont have access to food like . ever”. While they do show some Hufflepuff-ish desire for mutual following and community in posts like “i always check my following to make sure i follow everyone back cuz it pisses me off when people say 'ifb !!' and never do”, the dominant throughline is a Slytherin blend of ambition, rule-bending, and calculated self-preservation in a hostile world.
Your movie
Your song
Bury a Friend - Billie Eilish
A well‑suited song for Cory is Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish, because it captures a mix of self-destructive obsession, detachment, and dark humor that runs through their timeline. The song’s fixation on self-harm and feeling controlled by darker impulses echoes tweets like “my name is cory and i really like cutting myself 𝄢 probably actively getting worse” and “i love cutting . i am not neutral i am not against i am FOR . i LOVE TO CUT MYSELF !!!”. Its themes of wanting to disappear and feeling trapped inside your own mind line up with “life getting so bad not even suicide is a viable option anymore” and “i have words that i cant say”. At the same time, the song’s eerie playfulness and resignation match how they joke about their habits and communities, like “the concept of rewarding myself for a decent self harm free streak by letting myself do a really big sesh...” and “only clean bc im waiting 4 my razors 2 come in (≧ヘ≦ )”. Overall, Bury a Friend reflects both the intensity of their self-harm focus and the way they normalize and aestheticize that darkness within their online persona.
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