thebringerOpean
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green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-Awareness: He acknowledges his 'spiritual' inceldom and questions it, demonstrating a capacity for introspection.
- Online Loyalty: His 'extreme parasocial relationship with like most of you' shows a strong connection to his online community.
- Ironic Humor: He copes with heartbreak by 'stalking her liked reels and realizing they're all normieslop and unfunny,' showcasing a self-deprecating wit.
- Vulnerability: He admits to never truly being rejected because he hasn't asked anyone out, revealing a fear of vulnerability.
- Aesthetic Interest: He takes style inspiration from 'Liam when he was Birdbath,' demonstrating an interest in fashion and personal style.
Weaknesses:
- Romantic Obsession: His 'oneitis of over a year hates you' suggests an unhealthy fixation on a single person.
- Self-Deprecation: He frequently refers to himself as a 'loser' and expresses feelings of inadequacy.
- Cynicism: His bio includes 'trve whigger, standardcel (oneitis), khv, and sensitive young man', revealing a pessimistic outlook.
- Social Awkwardness: He states 'I'm sorta like Elliot Rodger I've never truly been rejected because I haven't asked anyone out', suggesting difficulties in social interactions.
- Inconsistent Views: He says 'I post so much coal I'm sorry y'all', which shows he is aware of his controversial posts but keeps posting them.
Your Simpsons character
Milhouse Van Houten
Xisp is similar to Milhouse Van Houten. Milhouse is known for his unrequited love for Lisa Simpson, which mirrors Xisp's 'oneitis' situation. Milhouse often finds himself in awkward and embarrassing situations, much like Xisp's self-deprecating posts. Both characters have a certain level of self-awareness but are unable to escape their unfortunate circumstances. Xisp's comment about the girl from grades 7 and 8 staring at him with hatred echoes Milhouse's perpetually doomed romantic pursuits.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
Xisp likely identifies as an INTP. His introspective nature is evident in his frequent self-analysis and questioning of his own beliefs. His analytical approach is shown in his comment 'the iq pill component of genetic determinism was probably the worst one to swallow'. His 'sorry if I don't fb sometimes I don't always get notifications for them' shows a level of introversion. He also shows a need for logic and internal consistency, which is a hallmark of INTPs.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you a Canadian pharmacy? Because I've been searching for something special here, and you're it.
- Is your name Zainy? Because you've been found by the Mexicans in my heart.
- Are you a Russian research drug? Because I want you flowing through my veins.
- Is your name Mika? Because we ALL love you here.
- Are you the lion? Because I'd let you love her.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Existential dread enthusiast. Navigating the standardcel life in the Virgin Islands. Still not over her from 7th grade. My dad's a pagan larper, ask me anything. All opinions are ironic... mostly.– @thebringerOpean
Your signature cocktail
The Blackpilled Islander
The Blackpilled Islander cocktail represents Xisp's complex personality. The dark rum symbolizes his edgy side and his willingness to embrace darker themes. The Diet Dr. Pepper reflects his love for the beverage, as seen in 'I love you diet dr pepper'. The blackberry liqueur adds a touch of sweetness and complexity, representing his sensitive side. The lime juice provides a contrasting tartness, reflecting his cynical humor. The activated charcoal powder gives the drink a dark color, symbolizing his 'blackpilled' worldview.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Xisp would likely be sorted into Slytherin. While he expresses sensitivity, his self-aware cynicism and occasional edgy humor align with Slytherin's ambition and cunning. His desire for self-improvement, even if unconventional ('Adam lanzamaxxing by stapling my eyelids to be fully open'), shows a drive to achieve a desired outcome, regardless of the methods. The 'blackpilled fqggot for all of middle and highschool award' comment suggests a past of self-preservation and perhaps a bit of self-loathing, traits that resonate with Slytherin's darker aspects. He's not afraid to embrace the less palatable parts of himself, a very Slytherin trait.
Your movie
Your song
Creep - Radiohead
Radiohead's 'Creep' embodies Xisp's feelings of inadequacy and longing. The lyrics 'I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo, What the hell am I doing here?' reflect Xisp's self-deprecating humor and his sense of not fitting in. The song's theme of unrequited love and the desire to be someone else aligns with Xisp's 'oneitis' situation and his comments about not being tall or lanky enough to pull off certain styles. The song's overall tone of alienation and self-loathing resonates with Xisp's blackpilled worldview.
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