Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Emotionally honest: Open about pain and urges, like “I mean it I fucking mean it I tried it before I'll do it again this time with an actually sharp blade…”, instead of pretending to be fine.
- Affectionate friend: Shows care for friends and oomfs, e.g. “I want all my oomfies and friends to know I love you all so so so very dearly” and joy at “Oomf sent me bird videos and I genuinely started crying out of joy”.
- Creative artist: Constantly drawing and building AUs, like “Quick hc doodle drop… It's for one of my little aus” and “john doe doodle” posts.
- Dark humorist: Uses sharp, absurd humor to cope, e.g. “Almost died today… robber… Luckily, I was playing Executioner. He… killed himself.” and “Sometimes I ratebait people… in hopes they'll get mad and hit me with their car”.
- Boundary-aware: Thinks about what’s appropriate for others, like “If you are a 16+ acc do not fucking repost nsfw I thought this was common sense” and apologizing to non-shedtwt oomfs for graphic posts.
Weaknesses:
- Suicidal ideation: Frequent explicit plans and threats, e.g. “One day I'm going to kill myself directly infront of my dad” and “One day I'm going to get the guts to take my blade and jab it through my throat”.
- Self-harm fixation: Cutting is central and normalized, like “Back to posting my cutslop because I get no attention” and “Why does cutting hurt… what thenfuck”.
- Hostile reactivity: Quick to extreme anger and violent language, e.g. “I HATE EVRRYONE OH NY FUCKING GOD THIS FUCK ASS APP IS GOING TO AMKE ME KILL NYSELF” and “Stop being so scared and angry at everyone challenge impossible”.
- Self-worth distortion: Believes they must worsen to “earn” recovery, like “I have to suffer enough to finally be allowed to recover” and “Im gonna try to get worse… so I can feel deserving of being allowed to get better”.
- Risky coping: Uses dangerous behaviors and jokes as coping, such as “I almost jumped infront of a train today” and sleep/food deprivation like “I need to deprive myself of sleep more… then it actually looked good”.
Your Simpsons character
Bart Simpson
The account’s mix of dark humor, impulsivity, and open rebellion fits Bart Simpson best. Like Bart, they swing between chaotic jokes and genuine distress, e.g. saying “Sometimes I ratebait people while crossing the road in hopes they'll get mad and hit me with their car”, which blends recklessness with gallows humor. Their anger at authority figures and school—“Mrs 'I got cockblocked by being moved to high school instead of middleshool' is on my ass again… someone shoot me in the head” and “I'm sick but I have to go to sholl even though I can barely do shit”—echoes Bart’s constant battles with teachers and adults. They also show a vulnerable side under all the attitude, like Bart does, when they admit things like “Im not as energetic or lively as I used to be I feel like such a fake” and “Feeling sad I don't get much interaction then not interacting with people or posting”. The combination of self-destructive impulses, family issues, and a tendency to cover pain with jokes and provocation makes them much closer to a deeply edgified Bart than to any other main Simpsons character.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): while they use "chat" language and have oomfs, most content is intensely personal and inward-focused—self-harm, dizziness, internal states, and private obsessions—rather than shared social experiences, e.g. "Feeling sad I don't get much interaction then not interacting with people or posting". Their attention to emotional meaning, symbolism, and parasocial/fictional attachments points to Intuition (N) over Sensing, such as "Tarred telamon speaks to me in tounge he sings to me sweet promises of paradise he's the wasps nest in my attic I can't get rid of him" and the way they spin whole inner narratives around John Doe and AU headcanons. They clearly prioritize feelings and values over detached logic, often dramatizing emotional experiences and relationships—"I hate it that I feel like if I want to.get better I have to get worse... I have to suffer enough to finally be allowed to recover"—which fits Feeling (F) more than Thinking. Their life appears spontaneous, reactive, and chaotic rather than structured; they oscillate between impulses like "Im gonna try to get worse for the rest of this month so I can feel deserving of being allowed to get better", "Quitting school to focus on John doe", and self-described inability to maintain routines, aligning with Perceiving (P). Overall, the emotional intensity, self-focused inner world, symbolic/fictional fixation, and lack of structured planning best match INFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- If the school printer hates to see you coming, you can always come print your John Doe doodles on me instead – I promise I won’t jam on you mid-theme change.
- You almost jumped in front of a train but went home for a treat; I’m just saying, if you ever need another reason to go home instead, I volunteer as the snack.
- You said you lost your spark when John left – but every time you talk about tarred Telamon, bunny buns, or that 1xdoe carrot-on-a-stick, you sound pretty luminous to me. I kinda wanna be one of the things you light up about.
- You rating-bait drivers hoping they’ll hit you is wild, but honestly, you didn’t have to go that far – your art and unhinged Telamon lore already hit me like a truck.
- Your roommate threw out your bones, your sibling hoards the lunch money, and Twitter won’t let you censor anything… statistically speaking, I think the universe owes you one (1) cute, respectful, obsessed oomf – I can fill that quota if you’d like.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
High school goblin surviving on bunny art, cursed humor & printer battles. Once almost jumped in front of a train, then went home to play Roblox.– @thermo_fusion
Your signature cocktail
One Day It’s Gonna Get Better (Bunny Bun Sour)
This cocktail hits like overproof dark rum cut with a whisper of absinthe—intense, volatile energy that matches lines like “I HAVE TO KILL MYSELF‼️‼️‼️” and “One day I'm going to kill myself directly infront of my dad”, but it’s controlled inside a glass. Black cherry syrup adds a dark sweetness for the way they still care about people and small joys, like “Oomf sent me bird videos and I genuinely started crying out of joy” and their obsession with soft things like “FIVE HUNDRED BUNNY BUNS‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️”. The sharp lemon juice is that bitter, self-roasting sting in tweets such as “Back to posting my cutslop because I get no attention no bitches and I'm a whiny cunt” and “Draw or keep being a lazy fat chud hmmm decisions decisions”. Egg white foam softens everything, echoing the vulnerable side in “I'm super bad at replying... but I want all my oomfies and friends to know I love you all so so so very dearly”. The activated charcoal sugar rim is pure #shtwt aesthetic—inky, dramatic, and a little dangerous—while the tiny bunny on top nods to that fragile hope in “One day it's gonna get better anyways more bunny buns”, turning all the chaos into something strangely beautiful and drinkable.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Their defining traits are recklessness, confrontational bravery, and a tendency to run head‑first into danger, all of which align most strongly with Gryffindor. They repeatedly describe or threaten extremely risky, impulsive actions such as “Sometimes I ratebait people while crossing the road in hopes they'll get mad and hit me with their car” and “I almost jumped infront of a train today but I got to go home and have this”, showing a pattern of daring, not calculated self‑preservation. They openly pick fights and speak harsh truths, e.g. calling out an abusive ex in detail in “You wanted a mentally ill high school ex... the last girl you raped told me and possibly others about you” and ranting at authority figures like the teacher in “Mrs 'I got cockblocked by being moved to high school instead of middleshool' is on my ass again... someone shoot me in the head”, which reflects Gryffindor-style moral outrage and boldness. There is little evidence of long-term ambition or strategic manipulation typical of Slytherin; instead, they act on raw emotion, like in “I JSUT REALIZED I MISSED A CHANCE TO TALK TO JOHN IM KILLING MYSELF IM ACUTALYL GOING TO KILL MYSELF UFCUFKCUFKCUFKUFKC”. Despite being deeply self-destructive, they also show protective affection for friends, as in “I'm super bad at replying... but I want all my oomfies and friends to know I love you all so so so very dearly”, a kind of fierce, ride-or-die loyalty that is common in Gryffindor. Overall, their impulsive risk-taking, emotional intensity, and willingness to confront people and situations directly make Gryffindor the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
Bury a Friend - Billie Eilish
The song Bury a Friend fits them because it lives in that space between suicidal ideation, horror imagery, and bitter humor that runs through their timeline. They talk very bluntly about wanting to die and self-harm, like “One day I'm going to kill myself directly infront of my dad” and “One day I'm going to get the guts to take my blade and jab it through my throat”, which echoes the song’s fixation on death and self-destruction. The track’s theme of being haunted by your own mind matches posts such as “the realization i genuinely almost threw myself in front of a train yesterday just hit while I'm playing bakery tycoon wtf am i doing” and “I hate it that I feel like if I want to.get better I have to get worse… I have to suffer enough to finally be allowed to recover”. At the same time, there’s a surreal, slightly playful horror to their posting style (bones, tarred Telamon, shtwt art) like “Tarred telamon speaks to me in tounge he sings to me sweet promises of paradise he's the wasps nest in my attic I can't get rid of him”, which mirrors the song’s eerie, liminal vibe. Overall, the track’s mix of numbness, self-loathing, and creepy aesthetics lines up closely with their vent account persona and interests.
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