Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Warmly supportive: Defends and uplifts friends and faves, like explaining a friend’s trans journey in “trans person: i’m trans society: okay me and lily: well we were in the same form for 5 years but didn’t speak until” and fiercely defending Graham in “i don’t play about him”.
- Self-aware: Open about mental health and social anxiety, e.g. “every day i near closer to the sorrowful and sad existence of mentally unwell adult rather than the cool hip world of mentally unwell teenager” and “i had to answer the phone to someone so now i’m shaking in literal fear”.
- Humorously candid: Uses honest, self-deprecating humour in stories like “when i was 8 my favourite song was sex on fire...doctor thinking i was dying but he basically said i was just weird” and “6 hour shift at my incredibly easy job tomorrow”.
- Passionately devoted: Shows deep enthusiasm for music and specific artists, especially Graham Coxon, e.g. “graham coxon your big brown eyes have charmed me in ways i could only hope to one day explain” and “HELLO GRAHAM COXON🙂”.
- Community-oriented: Actively builds and enjoys niche communities, mentioning waeve/Blur circles like “i had this at like. 16 and then made all my waeve friends and am now healed” and joking about ‘average waevetwt oomf’ in “average waevetwt oomf up”.
Weaknesses:
- Intense fixation: Huge focus on one person/fandom (Graham/Blur) across many posts, like “2000s graham would NOT have been safe from me sorry” and “well some of us are on minimum wage and need a morning doom scroll damon albarn”, which can crowd out other interests.
- Self-deprecating: Puts herself down for laughs, e.g. “everyone says. graham coxon is so cute. no one says. oh lily you are also so cute.” and “guys stop leaving me as ur fan when u break the mutual i am not that guy”.
- Conflict-drawn: Frequently engages with drama or ragebait, such as “i like to rage bait and mildly irritate” and commentary like “shouting to defend a man who couldn’t give two shits if they got hit by a bus on their way home”.
- Anxious avoidant: Talks about avoiding things due to anxiety, like childhood agoraphobia in “when i was 8 my favourite song was sex on fire...because i was agoraphobic” and present-day phone fear in “i had to answer the phone to someone so now i’m shaking in literal fear”.
- Emotionally overwhelmed: Describes being worn down by nausea, grief, and work stress, e.g. “i love feeling nauseous all morning and then really miserable at around 3pm because i haven’t been able to eat anything” and “i have not crossed off a day on my calendar since my dog died and it would feel weird to put up my new one”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
They most closely resemble Lisa Simpson: thoughtful, emotionally intense, a little neurotic, and extremely attached to their niche interests. Like Lisa’s jazz and books, they have a hyper‑fixation on Graham Coxon and Blur, shown by posts like “graham coxon your big brown eyes have charmed me in ways i could only hope to one day explain” and “HELLO GRAHAM COXON🙂”. Their self-aware melancholy and sensitivity—such as “every day i near closer to the sorrowful and sad existence of mentally unwell adult rather than the cool hip world of mentally unwell teenager” and “i have not crossed off a day on my calendar since my dog died and it would feel weird to put up my new one”—fit Lisa’s introspective, emotionally complex side. At the same time, they’re socially observant and a bit moralistic but still funny and snarky, like in “shouting to defend a man who couldn’t give two shits if they got hit by a bus on their way home” and “do these men read anything they’re saying before they post it”. Their mix of anxiousness (“i had to answer the phone to someone so now i’m shaking in literal fear”) and earnest love of friends, music, and little life rituals (like “going to greggs on my work break is one of the finer things in life”) mirrors Lisa’s combination of vulnerability and deep, dorky passion.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): while they’re sociable and love friends and the pub, a lot of their joy is in solitary or low-key experiences like listening to Elliott Smith and sitting on the floor “i love elliott smith and sitting on the floor”, and they describe phone calls as terrifying “i had to answer the phone to someone so now i’m shaking in literal fear”, suggesting social energy is draining rather than energising. Their interests and language are strongly Intuitive (N): they obsess over artists and aesthetics (Graham Coxon, Blur lore) and phrase things metaphorically or conceptually, like the snail in their ear in their bio and posts such as “i like when people have dark eyes so it just looks like they are like a cartoon a little bit . but as a compliment”, focusing on impressions rather than practical detail. They’re clearly Feeling (F): they centre emotions and relationships, lamenting defending men who don’t care about their defenders “shouting to defend a man who couldn’t give two shits if they got hit by a bus on their way home” and talking candidly about hurtful past relationships “when i was 15 my grown adult 25 year old boyfriend… and also probably a massive nonce”, using moral/emotional judgments more than detached logic. Their style is flexible and spontaneous, pointing to Perceiving (P): they joke about their lack of organisation “had to ask what year my brother is in at school cos i forgot omg i’m useless” and loosely future-plan things like hair dye rather than firmly schedule them “guys i’m dying my hair black soon once i use up all my red hair dye probably”. Taken together—introspective, intensely attached to favourite artists and friends, emotionally expressive, and somewhat disorganised but imaginative—they fit INFP best.
Some pickup lines for you
- If there’s a little snail in your ear telling you to listen to Graham Coxon, I’m happy to be the little voice next to it saying, “also go on a girls holiday with me immediately.”
- You said 2000s Graham Coxon would NOT have been safe from you — as someone with blue eyes that might be a bit scary and a side part that’s tragically ahead of its time, should I be filing a complaint or a marriage application?
- You sitting on the floor listening to Elliott Smith, overthinking blur lore and shaking after answering the phone is honestly the most ‘I get it’ energy ever — can I bring rich teas and be weird on the carpet with you?
- You love people with dark, cartoon-y eyes, but you’ve got blue ones and think they’re scary; I think that just means we’re due a pub night where I reassure you you’re “also so cute” while you coxonmaxx at me for several pints straight.
- You nearly crashed on the roundabout listening to ‘snail is fast,’ dye your hair red then black, work an ‘incredibly easy’ job, and keep getting ambushed by regulars on the way in — clearly chaos follows you, so let me be your designated Essex dog and shout directions from the backseat of life.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
19 • Essex • minimum wage, maximum Blur discourse. Once told a customer I liked their hair and they hugged me. Opinions are my own, mostly about Graham.– @theroxons
Your signature cocktail
Little Snail Vodka Redbull (Coxonmaxxed Edition)
This drink is built on a double shot of vodka and energy drink, a nod to their chaotic going-out spirit and their own list: “9 double vodka redbulls on a tuesday evening”. The blackcurrant liqueur adds a deep, moody sweetness for their Elliott Smith floor-sitting vibes: “i love elliott smith and sitting on the floor”. A splash of bitter Aperol represents the sharp, slightly rage-baity edge in posts like “i like to rage bait and mildly irritate” and the weary phone-anxiety of “i had to answer the phone to someone so now i’m shaking in literal fear”. The whipped cream with red sugar dusting is for the red hair era and upcoming black-hair pivot in “guys i’m dying my hair black soon once i use up all my red hair dye probably”, giving it a soft, playful top. Altogether it’s sweet, jittery, a bit dramatic, and absolutely blur/waeve-pilled—just like the girl who proudly declares “five things i like… 1. GRAHAM COXON 2. da waeve 3. red…”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
They show strong Hufflepuff-style loyalty and warmth toward friends and regulars in their life, like when they fondly recall outings and shared in-jokes with friends and coworkers: “life when there’s a confirmed mabel lily gig outing” and “love meeting up w my friends and one of them is like oh yeah i’m doing a placement for an engineering company making submarines. and the other called off sick at asda to come to the pub”. Their attachment to their dog and the calendar they haven’t changed since the dog died shows a deep, steady emotional loyalty and sentimentality: “i have not crossed off a day on my calendar since my dog died and it would feel weird to put up my new one”. They value kindness and connection in small everyday moments at work, even when they’re anxious or exhausted, as seen in tweets about regular customers and coworkers, such as “on my break right now . tell me why a random customer hugged me. like fully where my hug at” and “weird regular met my favourite regular and they were chatting about ME. i never wanted this to happen.”. Their self-description also emphasizes being caring and slightly self-effacing rather than ambitious or heroic, for instance joking that others only praise Graham Coxon and not them: “everyone says. graham coxon is so cute. no one says. oh lily you are also so cute.”. Taken together, the focus on relationships, steady work at an “incredibly easy job,” and emotional loyalty to people and pets fits Hufflepuff far better than the drive of Slytherin, the cerebral bent of Ravenclaw, or the overt bravado of Gryffindor.
Your movie
Your song
Coffee & TV - Blur
A well‑known song that best suits them is Coffee & TV by Blur. Their entire account is steeped in Blur and Graham Coxon references, from “graham coxon your big brown eyes have charmed me in ways i could only hope to one day explain” to “HELLO GRAHAM COXON🙂”, so a Coxon-led Blur song fits perfectly. The song’s mix of anxious introspection and mundane comfort mirrors their own posts about social anxiety and daily life, like “i had to answer the phone to someone so now i’m shaking in literal fear” and “going to greggs on my work break is one of the finer things in life”. Coffee & TV is also about trying to cope and find small joys while feeling a bit lost, which resonates with tweets such as “every day i near closer to the sorrowful and sad existence of mentally unwell adult rather than the cool hip world of mentally unwell teenager”. Finally, the song’s gentle guitar-centric sound and slightly offbeat charm suit someone who says “that’s me . i love things and stuff.” and spends half their timeline talking about learning Blur songs on guitar.
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