thesundaysport
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Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Satirical: His tweets are often filled with sarcasm and humor, poking fun at politicians and current events, like 'Evil Tory Bastard!' and 'Just how big a bet has Rishi placed on Keith getting a 150+ majority?'
- Observant: He notices details about everyday life, like the size of chocolate digestives and the quality of sausages, as seen in 'Either my aim is getting worse or chocolate digestives are getting smaller' and 'Which of the parties will set up a national database of diners, B&Bs etc that serve proper bangers and not godawful catering sausages?'
- Opinionated: He has strong opinions on various topics, from politics to biscuits, and isn't afraid to express them, as seen in 'Vote Labour get volcanoes' and 'Razzle for us public schoolboys #NationalBiscuitDay'.
- Humorous: He uses a mix of dark humor, sarcasm, and slang to entertain, as seen in 'When the entire back bench is pissed beyond all imagining as edition approaches and someone pipes up 'Hey, I've got an idea for a splash'...' and 'I know Rishi doesn't drink but tonight, maybe, just the one... That first bottle of Teacher's won't touch the fucking sides'.
- Cynical: He often expresses skepticism and doubt about the world, as seen in 'I want to get all middle aged and vexed about this but, quite frankly, can't be arsed. They could give the vote to the fucking cat for all it's going to fix any of this shit' and 'Now, what is it we say to the water companies, children?'
Weaknesses:
- Crude: His language can be offensive and vulgar, as seen in his frequent use of expletives and sexually suggestive terms, like 'fucking piss' and 'sex arse'.
- Exaggerated: His humor often relies on hyperbole and exaggeration, which can make his claims seem less credible, as seen in 'For all National Service it sounds mad, a handful of lads from south Manchester could have the Empire back in our hands within a fortnight' and 'Will climate change melt your sex arse?'
- Unprofessional: His tone is often irreverent and disrespectful, which can be seen as unprofessional, as seen in 'Evil Tory Bastard!' and 'Who gives a fuck what Norway thinks?'
- Uninformed: He sometimes makes claims without providing evidence, which can make him appear uninformed, as seen in 'Just how big a bet has Rishi placed on Keith getting a 150+ majority?' and 'I am convinced this lad is running UK politics at the moment, using plot lines from The Thick Of It previously discarded as too fanciful'.
- Lazy: He sometimes expresses apathy and disinterest, which can be seen as lazy, as seen in 'I want to get all middle aged and vexed about this but, quite frankly, can't be arsed. They could give the vote to the fucking cat for all it's going to fix any of this shit' and 'I kept calling it 'your little seminar' There were pursed lips and frowns'
Your Simpsons character
Moe Szyslak
Moe, the owner of the bar in Springfield, is known for his cynical outlook, his love of alcohol, and his tendency to be crass and vulgar. Sunday Sport shares these traits with Moe, often expressing cynicism about politics and society, using crude language, and making jokes about sex and alcohol. He also seems to enjoy the company of others, just like Moe enjoys running his bar and interacting with his patrons.
Your MBTI personality Type
Some pickup lines for you
- You must be a biscuit, because you're the only thing I want to razzle.
- I'm not sure if you're a politician or a sex dwarf, but I'm definitely interested.
- Is that a sausage in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
- I'm not a big fan of the Tories, but I'd be happy to vote for you any day.
- You must be a good biscuit, because I'd love to have you in my tea.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
The Sunday Sport: Your single source of truth. Unless you hear it from us, it's not the truth. We're the only ones who can tell you what's really going on in the world, and we're not afraid to say it. Get your Sunday Sport at newsagents or online at sundaysportonline.co.uk.– @thesundaysport
Your signature cocktail
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Sunday Sport's cunning, ambition, and disregard for rules align with Slytherin's values. He's constantly scheming, like 'When the entire back bench is pissed beyond all imagining as edition approaches and someone pipes up 'Hey, I've got an idea for a splash'...' and 'If we disappear in 24 hours, it was not a scam'. He's also not afraid to manipulate situations to his advantage, as seen in 'Any gentleman who slips 'Danger Sausage' into sexy talk tonight wins a free month's Sunday Sport online subscription (Simply post a photo of your black eye as proof, lads)'. He's willing to break rules and bend the truth to achieve his goals, much like Slytherin's ambition and cunning.
Your movie
Your song
The Ballad of John and Yoko - The Beatles
This song, with its satirical lyrics and commentary on the media's obsession with celebrity couples, resonates with Sunday Sport's cynical view of the world and his tendency to mock public figures. He often uses humor and sarcasm to comment on political scandals and celebrity gossip, just like the song's lyrics mock the media's portrayal of John Lennon and Yoko Ono.
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