Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Socially Conscious: Demonstrates a strong commitment to political causes and human rights, specifically "Free Palestine" and antizionism.
- Protective: Actively warns others about safety concerns, such as the "broken neck" risks associated with chiropractors.
- Creative Discipline: Shows dedication to long-form writing, successfully reaching a "100k" word count on their book.
- Principled: Refuses to tolerate harmful ideologies, explicitly condemning "pedophilia" and predatory behavior within online communities.
- Intellectually Critical: Engages in "in depth criticism" of media rather than accepting popular opinions at face value.
Weaknesses:
- Unprofessional Conduct: Admits to "logging into all of my socials" and working on personal fiction while on the clock.
- Passive Aggressive: Vents about a friend being an "immature brat" on public social media instead of resolving the conflict privately.
- External Validation: Expresses anxiety over a lack of "comments" on their work, questioning if readers hate them.
- Conflict Prone: Frequently engages in circular "discourse" and arguments with various online subcultures.
- Medical Negligence: Ignored medical guidelines regarding an "iud", failing to research the specific duration for their condition.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
Like Lisa, this user is a highly principled, intellectual activist who frequently takes a stand against social injustice, even when it isolates them from their peers. They exhibit a sharp, cynical wit regarding political issues, such as when they noted, “a bunch of the zionists who used to stalk me are still around alas but it looks like one of them got his twitter nuked helllllllll yeah”. Their dedication to niche interests and writing—like how they “broke 100k” on their book—mirrors Lisa's overachieving nature. Furthermore, they share Lisa’s frustration with the lack of logic in the world, exemplified by their disdain for “deranged takes” and the feeling of “losing my fucking mind” when discourse turns irrational. Ultimately, they embody the 'social conscience' archetype, constantly critiquing media and authority while navigating the complexities of their own community.
Your MBTI personality Type
INTP
Jay exhibits Introversion (I) through a preference for solitary digital spaces and social anxiety, noted when they “don't know what to say so i haven't replied back” to a new mutual. Their Intuition (N) is evident in their deep preoccupation with abstract community dynamics and media theory, such as “thinking abt the white albanian 'communist' backpacking tourist” or analyzing “the obsession tumblr has with presenting homestuck as the epitome of lgbtq media.” They lean toward Thinking (T) by prioritizing logical consistency over social harmony, often using blunt, critical language to address “very stupid take(s)” and “deranged takes” regardless of potential backlash. Finally, their Perceiving (P) nature shows in a flexible, somewhat disorganized approach to life, from being “too lazy to rewrite” old stories to a tendency to “sit in the same cross legged position for three hours” while lost in thought.
Some pickup lines for you
- Are you my snakebite piercings? Because I know I should probably wait, but I’m already lowkey freaking out over how much I want you around.
- Is your name AO3? Because even without the comments, your original work has me checking my notifications every five minutes.
- I promise I’m more reliable than a New York public library desk—I'll never leave you alone to handle the circulation while I sneak onto my socials.
- Forget the spelling bee solver, the only 'Center Letter' I’m looking for today is 'U'—and I promise I’m way more interesting than a white Albanian backpacker.
- I’d never ignore your Instagram messages for three weeks; in fact, I’d gladly be your plus-one to a wedding and actually pay you back for the favor.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
NY-based librarian and author of original fiction. Passionate about media criticism, local politics, and coffee. Ask me about my snakebites or my 100k-word book.– @theyiddishfist
Your signature cocktail
The Dialectical Snakebite
This drink captures Jay’s high-frequency energy, combining a sweet Jewish wine base with the caffeine needed for “spending my time at work making an organizational map of all of my oc aus.” The Arak adds a potent, 'white celtic gnome' kick, mirroring their sharp social critiques and the literal “snakebites 😈” they recently got pierced. It’s served chilled because it’s “65 degrees in my office 😭” and topped with glitter to represent the chaotic, sparkling mess of “insane shit happening in tumblr commie circles.” Strong, bitter, and unapologetically experimental, it’s the perfect companion for anyone who finds themselves “logging into all of my socials” while on the circulation desk.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Jayden exhibits the quintessential Gryffindor trait of bold, confrontational advocacy for their moral convictions, often regardless of social fallout. They demonstrate significant bravery by “calling the first out for being racist” and relentlessly challenging “pedophilia apologia” on Tumblr, even when it means being labeled a “transmisogynistic fascist” by their own community. Their impulsivity is evident in their admission that they accidentally posted something intended for a private account (“god damnit that was for priv”), reflecting the house's tendency to act before thinking. Furthermore, their bio's focus on being “antizionist” and their glee when a stalker gets “nuked helllllllll yeah” underscores a fiery, justice-oriented spirit that defines Gryffindor.
Your movie
Your song
Sleepover - Hayley Kiyoko
This song perfectly aligns with Jayden's identity as a “they/them lesbian” who frequently engages with niche internet subcultures and queer media discourse. They explicitly mention the track in a post, noting that thinking about horror movie tropes led to them having “sleepover by hayley kiyoko stuck in my head”. The song's themes of yearning and navigating complex queer relationships mirror Jayden’s personal life, particularly their recent frustration with a friend they brought to their “sister's wedding” who has since been “ignoring me and hasn't even looked at my instagram messages”. Ultimately, the track captures the mix of vulnerability and sharp social awareness Jayden displays while navigating their “main for complaining”.
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