ThisJuanes
City:
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In a relationship:
Best friend:
Politically:
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Unique: Their tweets show individuality.
Weaknesses:
- Mysterious: Hard to analyze from limited content.
Your Simpsons character
Homer Simpson
A classic match.
Your MBTI personality Type
ENFP
They come across as strongly Extraverted (E): they share a lot of emotional reactions and jokes with an assumed audience, e.g. the flamboyant comeback âVolvĂ gran perrasâ and the way they publicly bicker and bond over fandoms like La Casa de los Famosos and Taylor Swift. Their focus is clearly Intuitive (N) rather than detailâoriented: they jump quickly to big-picture takes and cultural commentary, like criticizing capitalism in âQue tan mal estĂĄ el capitalismo para decirle caridad a un bonoâ or calling out queer politics in âUn gay transfobico es un traidorâ, instead of dwelling on concrete specifics. They lean Feeling (F): most opinions are valueâladen, emotional, and tied to loyalty or justice, such as defending Palestine in â?????? Perdon por exigir que pare el genocidioâ or drawing a moral line with âPase lo que pase, team anti Fadul alias anti Israel se inaugura đȘđ»â. Even when they insult or rant, itâs driven by emotional investment in artists, politics, or queer identity, like âComo siempre, el gay sin amor propio apoyando a los que les hace dañoâ. Finally, they appear Perceiving (P): their timeline is spontaneous, chaotic, and reactive rather than plannedâfull of sudden outbursts like âJUEPUTA YQKWGSKWHWIBQUAVQIHIQGSIWHUWLDGWMSHBâ and impulsive fandom swings such as âMarvel rivals y Fortnite? La cĂșspide de la homosexualidad (yo)â. This lively, expressive, values-driven, and improvisational style best matches ENFP.
Some pickup lines for you
- You said Marvel Rivals and Fortnite are âthe peak of homosexuality (you)ââso if we duo queue, is that considered gay rights or just the best collab since Iron Man and Superman sharing a screen?
- You screaming âLA MEJOR ESCENA DE TODO MCUâ and then thirsting over Scarlet Johansson⊠Iâm just wondering, when do I get my cameo as your new favorite scene-stealer?
- You defending Taylor from gays who only want âsongs where she wants to dieâ was so realâif you ever want a soft, healed, So Long London-style love arc, I volunteer as the boyfriend who actually replies even when heâs âbusy working.â
- You, a proudly depressed gay tweeting âwhere are the marikas and the depressivas on my timeline?â; me, a perfectly qualified candidate ready to discuss La Casa de los Famosos, Palestine, and Taylor Swift in one callâshall we fix Elonâs algorithm and go out?
- You went from âvolvĂ gran perrasâ to âtocĂł irse a Brasilâ like a main character speedrunâhow about your next season starts with: âTocĂł irse a una citaâ⊠with me, obviously.
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Colombian pop culture nerd & MCU apologist. Once yelled âJUEPUTAâ at a Fortnite update and called it political analysis.â @ThisJuanes
Your signature cocktail
La Casa de los Famosos Col-tail
This drink starts with a double shot of cachaça, because they literally said âTocĂł irse a Brasilâ and their timeline screams LATAM chaos and charisma. Passion fruit with lime mirrors their dramatic stan energy and romantic yearning, from yelling âMADRE MADRE MADREâ to begging âDios, que mi novio sea asĂâ in this tweet: âDios, que mi novio sea asĂâ. Pink grapefruit tonic brings a queer, bubbly bitterness that fits lines like âMarvel rivals y Fortnite? La cĂșspide de la homosexualidad (yo)â and their habit of dragging their own community with love, as in âComo siempre, el gay sin amor propio apoyando a los que les hace dañoâ. A splash of coffee liqueur adds depth and late-night overthinking, matching their political and moral clarity when they say âUn gay transfobico es un traidorâ and âAy miamor jugar con la dignidad de colombia es bombardear niños que no tenĂan nada que ver en el Catatumboâ. The smoked salt and chili rim represents their sharp tongue and explosive reactions â from full-keysmash meltdowns like âJUEPUTA YQKWGSKWHWIBQUAVQIHIQGSIWHUWLDGWMSHBâ to calling out reality TV villains with âSaquen a la sionista YA #LaCasaDeLosFamososCol3â. Overall itâs strong, a little bitter, very gay, unapologetically political, and lowkey unhinged â just like their timeline.
Your Hogwarts House
Gryffindor
Based on their tweets.
Your movie
Your song
the small of it all - Taylor Swift
A song that fits them best is "the small of it all" because theyâre an openly emotional, very online Swiftie who mixes humor, drama and vulnerability. They constantly center Taylor in their fandom life, e.g. complaining that âEstos hp siempre meten a Taylor para hacer publicidadâ and celebrating that Taylor blocked someone from #1 with âLa maligna de Taylor Swift la bloqueo đđđđ del puesto #1â. At the same time, they show the overthinking, anxious, deeply online energy that song captures, like when they vent about being ignored in messages and blame their â18-year-oldâ brain in âosea no se si es por mi mente de aguevado de 18 años que sigue pensando que la gente me ignora porque no le interesĂłâ. Their timeline is full of rapid-fire emotional reactions â from all-caps meltdowns like âJUEPUTA YQKWGSKWHWIBQUAVQIHIQGSIWHUWLDGWMSHBâ to tender posts like âDios, que mi novio sea asĂâ â echoing the songâs mix of exhaustion, longing, and self-awareness. Politically loud, pop-culture obsessed, and emotionally intense, they embody the internet-tired, feelings-heavy narrator of the small of it all more than any other track.
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