
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This user most closely matches Bart Simpson, with a mix of chaotic humor, faux-edgy evil, and a genuine soft spot for cute things. The bio, “terribly evil……. evil as flip man dont mess with me,” mirrors Bart’s exaggerated bad-boy persona that’s more playful than truly malicious. Their over-the-top hostility toward things like media and apps—such as “this isnt fucking news wtf dexerto DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE” and “i hope that stupid fucking duolingo bird stays dead”—fits Bart’s love of theatrically lashing out at authority figures and brands. At the same time, they have a soft, whimsical side, loving animals and critters like rabbits and bugs as seen in “love rabbits so much. 10/10 critter. whoever designed them needs a promotion” and “:3 bug…. so awesome. i didnt know this was allowed”, which reflects Bart’s hidden sweetness. Their desire for dramatic conflict and mischief—like “does anyone know how to find an arch enemy. i need ine” and “they should vote me for president”—is very in line with Bart’s love of stirring things up and imagining himself as a chaotic main character.

Your MBTI personality Type
They read as more introverted: their posts center on games, animals, and random thoughts rather than social life, e.g. replaying a single-player game in “ive been replaying ultrakill recently” and joking about only having a handful of followers in “what the fuck all my stupid sex bot followers got deleted….. now i only have 6 💔💔💔”, suggesting comfort with a small, niche audience. Their humor tends toward intuition (N): they play with hypotheticals and absurd scenarios like “i think in the next marvel movie jeff the landshark should just eat dr doom and jump off the map. movie could be done in like 10 minutes” and wanting to name a rat “fire hydrant” in “i wish i had a rat. id name it something cool like fire hydrant”. The tone is blunt and analytical rather than conciliatory, fitting thinking (T): they attack targets with cutting humor in “i hope that stupid fucking duolingo bird stays dead” and “this isnt fucking news wtf dexerto DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE” without concern for diplomacy. Their lifestyle and posting style feel very perceiving (P): they bounce between topics (games, politics, critters, movies) on a whim—“does anyone know how to find an arch enemy. i need ine” and “did you know you can eat unheated pizza with a yoohoo. never kill yourself”—with no sign of planning or structured goals. Overall, the mix of introverted, idea-driven absurdity, detached critique, and spontaneous humor best matches INTP.

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Your new Twitter bio
Professional gremlin in evilopolis. Once pitched ‘Jeff the Landshark eats Dr Doom in 10 minutes’ as a serious movie idea. Rabbits & weird critters enthusiast.– @timelesspossum

Your signature cocktail
This cocktail is strong and chaotic like their villain persona, powered by overproof dark rum for the self‑proclaimed menace from evilopolis who’s “terribly evil……. evil as flip man dont mess with me.” The sour cherry juice adds a tart, slightly unhinged edge that fits tweets like “i hope that stupid fucking duolingo bird stays dead” and “this isnt fucking news wtf dexerto DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE”. A Yoo-hoo–infused simple syrup nods to their chaotic life-advice energy in “did you know you can eat unheated pizza with a yoohoo. never kill yourself”, sweetening the drink without making it behave. Sparkling lemonade captures their hyper, critter-loving side from posts like “love rabbits so much. 10/10 critter. whoever designed them needs a promotion” and “i wish i had a rat. id name it something cool like fire hydrant”. Finally, a charcoal salt rim makes it look appropriately villainous and dramatic, perfect for the would‑be supervillain who insists “they should vote me for president” while tweeting about bugs, landsharks, and ultrakill runs.

Your Hogwarts House
Their whole persona leans into calculated edginess and villain theatrics, which fits Slytherin’s flair for image and ambition. The bio (“terribly evil……. evil as flip man dont mess with me”) and things like “they should vote me for president” show a tongue-in-cheek hunger for power and status more than a genuine desire to be noble or fair. Their fixation on having an “arch enemy” in “does anyone know how to find an arch enemy. i need ine” reflects a romanticization of rivalry and conflict that’s very Slytherin-coded. They also show a ruthless, mocking side in tweets like “i hope that stupid fucking duolingo bird stays dead” and “this isnt fucking news wtf dexerto DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE”, which indicates aggression and self-serving irritation rather than Gryffindor-style moral crusading or Hufflepuff gentleness. While they clearly enjoy humor, critters, and fandoms like Marvel and Ultrakill (“ive been replaying ultrakill recently”, “hell yeah #Venom: The Last Dance get that guy”), they frame themselves as the chaotic, slightly villainous observer, aligning most strongly with Slytherin’s ambitious, self-mythologizing vibe.

Your movie

Your song
The playful, over-the-top villain energy of Bad fits them perfectly, starting with their bio declaring they’re “terribly evil……. evil as flip man dont mess with me.” Their tweets constantly mix faux-edginess with humor, like wishing death on mascots in “i hope that stupid fucking duolingo bird stays dead” and raging at gaming media in “this isnt fucking news wtf dexerto DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE”. They also lean into chaotic, mischief-gremlin vibes with posts like “did you know you can eat unheated pizza with a yoohoo. never kill yourself” and “does anyone know how to find an arch enemy. i need ine”, which match the song’s swaggering, theatrical toughness. Even their joke about being president in “they should vote me for president” feels like the kind of tongue-in-cheek bravado the song celebrates. Overall, Bad captures their blend of mock-menace, confidence, and cartoonish villain persona.

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timelesspossum
green: confident, yellow: guess, red: uncertain
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