
Strengths and Weaknesses

Your Simpsons character
This user most closely matches Bart Simpson, with their chaotic, darkly humorous, and deliberately provocative posting style. Like Bart, they lean hard into edgy jokes about taboo topics and violence, as seen in posts like “Thomas fans out here making their own episodes and shit meanwhile all im good for is making them do substances and get raped 😔” and “Billben: hey girl i mean they”, which play with boundaries and irreverence. Their fixation on shock humor around sex and harm, such as “Bill ben timothy vagina sex almost rape” and “Hmm... Damn bratty Diesel…!!! !💢💢Rape correction is needed ... 💢”, echoes Bart’s tendency to poke at whatever adults would find most inappropriate. At the same time, there are hints of vulnerability and mental health struggles beneath the jokes—mirroring Bart’s occasional moments of sadness and alienation—like their bio “problematic mentally ill freakozoid” and tweets such as “My brain does not work like other people, i donteven mean this in the typical autism way i think theres something wrong with my brain that no one else can truly understand”. Their stubborn, combative streak (“Me when someone has a opinion i disagree with (it IS that serious)” and “Fuck people who got more money than me”) also aligns strongly with Bart’s rebellious, anti-authority attitude. Overall, the mix of edgy humor, fixation on shocking scenarios, and underlying emotional turbulence fits Bart far better than more earnest or reserved characters like Lisa or Marge.

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Default personality type.

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Writing unhinged Thomas & Diesel brainworms so you don’t have to. Once described a train ship as “permanent brain rapeage” and never recovered.– @traincest

Your signature cocktail
This chaotic little potion is built on overproof dark rum for their intense, unfiltered brainrot energy and fixation on train smut, echoing lines like “Categorizing thomas episodes into rape episodes or incest episodes” and “Thomas fans out here making their own episodes and shit meanwhile all im good for is making them do substances and get raped 😔”. Sour cherry liqueur adds a sweet-but-tart emotional core for the dramatic swings between horny shitposting and startling vulnerability, as when they say “My brain does not work like other people… i think theres something wrong with my brain that no one else can truly understand”. A hit of cold brew coffee keeps it wired and obsessive, the same restless energy behind “I need to write again bru I need to force myself to write sonny x diesel fic” and “Diesel is beginning to infiltrate my head”. Tonic water brings bitter fizz, matching their misanthropic bite in posts like “Fuck people who got more money than me” and “People who have more money than me gotta go”. Finally, black cherry and chili bitters are the spicy, slightly unhinged edge that captures lines such as “you have to understand im always talking about train rape because of how raped every train is” and the gleeful menace of “We need to kill bill and ben”, making the drink as alarming and compelling as their timeline.

Your Hogwarts House
Their humor and worldview lean heavily into Slytherin traits like ruthlessness, extremity, and a darkly self‑aware edge. They repeatedly frame social interactions in terms of domination or destruction, e.g., the exaggerated hostility of “We need to kill bill and ben” and the gleefully over-the-top violence in “ugly bitch i hate so much i never want to see again. i want to smush into the ground and shoot him. i want to grind him up and turn him into noodles. i want to beat him.”. There’s also a clear self-preservation streak wrapped in dark comedy; when they say “Wow i did not care about anything that was shown in this trailer ok im ending it all tonight”, it fits the melodramatic, hyperbolic self-focus typical of Slytherins rather than genuine martyrdom or altruism. Their fixation on taboo, power-imbalanced dynamics—like “Categorizing thomas episodes into rape episodes or incest episodes” and “you have to understand im always talking about train rape because of how raped every train is… it is actually much weirder to not mention it”—shows a fascination with transgression and control. Even their joking threat “@ jones i will show this screenshot to everyone you know if you dont give me $1 million” is a classic Slytherin-flavored bit: leveraging information and social pressure as power. While there are glimmers of creativity and introspection, the dominant tone is one of sharp, provocative, self-protective edge, making Slytherin the best fit.

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Your song
A well‑known song that fits them is Teenagers by My Chemical Romance, because it captures being young, angry, and a bit unhinged in a world that feels hostile. Their bio calling them an “18 years of age problematic mentally ill freakozoid REAL FICTO” mirrors the song’s defiant, self-aware edge. They joke about extreme intrusive thoughts and self‑destructive themes, like “Wow i did not care about anything that was shown in this trailer ok im ending it all tonight” and “Am i allowed to talk about cutting characters names into myself”, which parallels the song’s dark humor about pain and alienation. Their constant chaotic fixation on trains and sex, such as “Thomas fans out here making their own episodes and shit meanwhile all im good for is making them do substances and get raped 😔” and “Categorizing thomas episodes into rape episodes or incest episodes”, reflects the same intense, provocative energy MCR uses to talk about messed‑up teenage life. Even their resentment toward people with more money, like “People who have more money than me gotta go” and “Fuck people who got more money than me”, fits the song’s themes of class frustration and feeling targeted or dismissed by the world of adults.

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