Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Passionate fan: Shows deep, consistent love for Adam Jones and Tool, e.g. “I think about Adam every day. I love him so much. More than anything. I love you” and “why do i love adam so much i just really love adam”.
- Emotionally expressive: Openly shares feelings of love, heartbreak, and excitement, such as “my fucking hearttt😭💔💔” and “IM SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW”.
- Playfully humorous: Uses jokes and playful phrasing, like “diggin in my butt for guava” and “i just realized its called tool because its the first letter of all their names (maynard, adam, danny, justin) 😭😭😭”.
- Supportive friend: Publicly appreciates others’ creations and experiences, e.g. “another @candyriiot classic I LOVE YOU” and “everyone who went to the Adam Jones meet and greet... I Hope You Had A Fantastic Time”.
- Openly queer: Comfortable stating their identity and attraction, as seen in “im genuinely gay as fuck” and flirty posts like “yeah he can get it are you kidding me”.
Weaknesses:
- Emotional volatility: Swings between euphoria and distress, e.g. “IM SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW” versus “im crashing out i cant figure out what to do from here”.
- Obsessive focus: Large majority of posts center on a single person/band, such as repeated declarations like “no words can express my love for adam i think” and “does anyone else love him as much as i do”.
- Impulsive posting: Tweets intense reactions in the moment without much reflection, e.g. “I HATE PUSCIFER” and “he looks like asssss”.
- Self-denigrating: Uses harsh or crude language that can reflect negatively on self-image, such as “he looks like asssss” and bodily humor in “diggin in my butt for guava”.
- Financial stress: Hints at money strain impacting hobbies, e.g. “I seriously need the ween cd box set so bad but I don't have $70 to spare”, suggesting difficulty balancing desires and budget.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The user most closely matches Lisa Simpson, who is intensely passionate about her interests and wears her heart on her sleeve. This account is built almost entirely around deep, almost obsessive musical fandom, especially for Adam Jones, as seen in posts like “no words can express my love for adam i think” and “does anyone else love him as much as i do because he needs to be loved because he deserves it”. Like Lisa, they experience big emotions and dramatize them openly, such as “im crashing out i cant figure out what to do from here” and the exaggerated heartbreak in “And I can't go😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭”. There’s also a self-aware, slightly nerdy humor in posts like “i just realized its called tool because its the first letter of all their names (maynard, adam, danny, justin) 😭😭😭” and the playful sexuality in “im genuinely gay as fuck”, which fits Lisa’s mix of earnestness and awkward, intense sincerity as she grows into her identity. Overall, the combination of artistic fixation, emotional intensity, and slightly dorky self-awareness lines up more with Lisa than with more chaotic characters like Bart or more detached characters like Homer.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert over Extrovert: their world is centered on intense personal fascinations and parasocial bonds, not broad social life, e.g. “does anyone else love him as much as i do because he needs to be loved because he deserves it” and “I think about Adam every day. I love him so much. More than anything. I love you”, which describe inner feelings more than social activities. They seem more iNtuitive than Sensing: while they do share concrete photos, their focus is on emotional meaning, symbolism, and fantasy around people (idolization, yearning, exaggerated humor) rather than practical details, as in “why do i love adam so much i just really love adam” and the joking fake etymology in “i just realized its called tool because its the first letter of all their names (maynard, adam, danny, justin) 😭😭😭”. They are clearly Feeling-oriented: their tweets are saturated with emotional language and affection (“no words can express my love for adam i think”, “my fucking hearttt😭💔💔”) rather than logical analysis or debate, even when they state strong dislikes like “I HATE PUSCIFER” with no rational argument. Finally, they appear more Perceiving than Judging: their timeline feels spontaneous, reactive, and mood-driven (e.g. sudden outbursts like “IM SO EXCITED RIGHT NOW” and “im crashing out i cant figure out what to do from here”), with little sign of structured planning or orderly life updates. Combining a deeply emotional inner world, idealization of favorite artists, whimsical humor, and spontaneous expression suggests an INFP profile.
Some pickup lines for you
- If TOOL is secretly named after Maynard, Adam, Danny, and Justin… does that make us TWOO, because I’m definitely falling for 2 tens (you) and your Adam obsession.
- You’re digging in your butt for guava, I’m digging in my brain for ways to impress the extreme Adam Jones enthusiast who thinks about him every day… any chance you’ve got room in there to think about me too?
- You said you couldn’t figure out what to do from here — option A: cry over not having the Ween CD box set, option B: scroll more Adam pics, option C: let me take you out and rant about how Puscifer wronged you.
- The way you talk about Adam disappearing into the shadows being ‘unbelievably tuff’… I kinda hope you look at me that way someday, like I’m onstage under Lateralus lights and you’re in the front row losing your mind.
- You’re out here tweeting ‘im genuinely gay as fuck,’ ‘I want Danny Carey,’ and ‘yeah he can get it’ — I don’t know where I fall on your tier list, but I promise if we hang out I’ll at least be ‘he can *maybe* get it 👀.’
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
Tool riff analyst, Adam Jones dissertation-in-progress. Once mixed up Ween and NIN and have never recovered. Opinions, setlists & stray guitar thoughts.– @twotens20
Your signature cocktail
The Adam-Crushed Lateralust
This cocktail is built on smoky mezcal for the intense, obsessive devotion to Adam Jones, echoing posts like “no words can express my love for adam i think” and “I think about Adam every day. I love him so much.”. Black cherry liqueur adds a dark sweetness for their dramatic, romantic streak and the horny, unfiltered energy in “yeah he can get it are you kidding me” and “Why am I aroused? 😅”. A shot of cold brew concentrate captures their wired, slightly spiraling vibe in “im crashing out i cant figure out what to do from here”, keeping the drink strong and restless. Guava nectar is a nod to their chaotic humor in “diggin in my butt for guava”, adding a weirdly perfect fruity note that shouldn’t work but absolutely does. Finally, a dash of saline solution balances everything like the bittersweet mix of excitement and heartbreak in “And I can't go😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭” and their yearning for connection in “does anyone else love him as much as i do because he needs to be loved because he deserves it”.
Your Hogwarts House
Hufflepuff
Axel’s timeline is dominated by intense, steadfast devotion, which is quintessentially Hufflepuff. They repeatedly express deep, almost unconditional loyalty to Adam Jones, writing things like “I think about Adam every day. I love him so much. More than anything. I love you” and “why do i love adam so much i just really love adam”, showing consistent dedication rather than a fleeting obsession. They also extend this warmth outward, wishing others well with posts such as “everyone who went to the Adam Jones meet and greet... I Hope You Had A Fantastic Time” and “merry christmas everyone ❤️”, which reflects kindness and a community-oriented attitude. Even their playful frustration and emotional vulnerability, like “im crashing out i cant figure out what to do from here”, reads as earnest rather than strategic or self-aggrandizing, which fits Hufflepuff more than Slytherin or Gryffindor. Overall, their defining traits are loyalty, affection, and genuine care for the people and artists they love, making Hufflepuff the best fit.
Your movie
Your song
Schism - Tool
The song that best fits them is Schism by Tool, because their entire online persona orbits around Adam Jones and the band. Their bio declares them an “extreme enthusiast of adam jones,” and their timeline is saturated with devotion, from “no words can express my love for adam i think” to “does anyone else love him as much as i do because he needs to be loved because he deserves it”. Schism is one of Adam’s most iconic showcases as a guitarist, and their emotional intensity mirrors the song’s themes of obsession, longing, and trying to hold fractured feelings together, hinted at in posts like “im crashing out i cant figure out what to do from here”. Their mix of playful sexuality and deep fandom, seen in “yeah he can get it are you kidding me” and “i Want danny carey”, fits the intense, brooding, yet passionate energy of Schism. Loving one band “more than anything,” as in “I think about Adam every day. I love him so much. More than anything. I love you”, makes a defining Tool track like Schism the song that most clearly represents who they are online.
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