Strengths and Weaknesses
Strengths:
- Self-aware: Openly analyzes their own patterns, like reflecting on attention and disability desires in “I’ve wanted to be severely / visibly disabled since I was a kid. Yk the types of things you think abt when you don’t get enough attention”.
- Caring_host: Shows genuine enjoyment of making others comfortable, e.g. “I have such a love for hosting too bad I don’t have my own place” and offering valentines with flowers and chocolate in “Which moots wanna be valentines w me this year. I’ll buy you flowers and chocolate”.
- Humorous: Uses humor and sarcasm even around heavy topics, like joking about coworkers and furries in “STOP DUMBING DOWN FURRIES TO A SEX THING… SHUT UP” and calling it a “fuckass burrito” in “Fuckass burrito that I forgot to post yesterday”.
- Fandom_passionate: Engages deeply with interests like Ninjago and yume AUs, as in “Oomf prompted a ninjago rant I hope he doesn’t find me annoying after this” and “The way sanemi is integral to my yume au bc i think he deserves to know he is capable and worthy of love…”.
- Supportive_friend: Offers help and interaction to others (dms open, strawpage gimmicks) and validates moots/anons, like “Glad I could help you anon” and repeatedly asking for gimmicks to yap with in “I feel like yapping at ppl send me gimmicks”.
Weaknesses:
- Self-harm_addiction: Frequent, intense fixation on cutting and attempts, e.g. “Wanna spend the whole night cutting myself but alas I cannot </3”, “My family keeps interrupting the times I set aside to cut. It’s starting to irritate me”, and panic over losing razors in “my mom went rummaging and found my razors (main stash)”.
- Suicidal_ideation: Repeated detailed thoughts of death and methods, such as “I would kill to have my brother’s severe peanut allergy rn… I could just lick a peanut and I’d go into anaphylactic shock”, “I just watched the train go by. I was so tempted to run for the tracks”, and planning an attempt in “I was supposed to have an attempt tonight”.
- Disordered_eating: Shows active eating-disorder behaviors and self-hatred about weight, e.g. “My brother calling me fat almost daily KNOWING I struggle w a weight related ed omfg”, fixation on fasting and calories in “Found out I do better fasting if I don’t do the math of how long I’ve been fasting for”, and self-loathing in “I want to gut myself I feel disgusting”.
- Harsh_self-image: Describes self in extremely negative, absolute terms, like “Guys is this disordered of me or am I still fat (answer: I’m very fat)”, “I’ve ruined my body. No agency would ever want me. I ruined my chance at my dream before I even realized it”, and feeling “undesirable” when called flat chested in “Yk you’d think I’d enjoy being called flat chested… But all I’ve ever heard is ‘undesirable’”.
- Emotional_avoidance: Tends to avoid processing feelings by distraction or self-destruction, like “Whatever I’m not thinking about this. I’m going to bed and putting on a youtube video so I don’t have to think” and choosing between coping skills or destructive habits in “Now the question is do I want to use my coping skills or give into destructive habits?”.
Your Simpsons character
Lisa Simpson
The user aligns most with Lisa Simpson because they’re highly self-aware, introspective, and intellectually/creatively driven, but also deeply emotionally distressed. Like Lisa, they overthink how others perceive them and seek constant feedback on their identity, as seen in posts like “Stole from moot. Yall know I have the deep seeded need to know how I’m perceived” and “How long has it been since ____ Reply 🍀 for the questions ^^”. They show moral/political conviction and niche passions (fandoms, yume AUs, Ninjago rants, defending furries) much like Lisa’s intense interests and ethics, e.g. “Too woke for my coworkers. STOP DUMBING DOWN FURRIES TO A SEX THING.” and “The way sanemi is integral to my yume au bc i think he deserves to know he is capable and worthy of love…”. Their relationship with family is fraught and invalidating, mirroring Lisa’s constant feeling of being misunderstood: “My brother calling me fat almost daily KNOWING I struggle w a weight related ed” and “Was talking to my brother abt my thoughts of being a teacher and he goes ‘would they even allow you to be a teacher? Yk with your history and your scars.’”. Finally, there’s a strong sense of loneliness, precocious pain, and existential despair beneath humor—like Lisa’s darker episodes—captured in tweets such as “The way I’ve spent today makes it feel like my last. Like I’m going to leave this cafe and jump in front of a train.” and “I want to gut myself I feel disgusting”.
Your MBTI personality Type
INFP
They lean Introvert (I): much of their life is online, but their energy focus is internal, centering on pain, rumination, and a few close connections rather than broad socializing, e.g. talking about their brother and one friend rather than big friend groups, and preferring introspective activities like walking alone and posting about their inner state (“The way I’ve spent today makes it feel like my last. Like I’m going to leave this cafe and jump in front of a train.”). They show strong Intuition (N) through abstract framing and symbolism: they turn small events into meaning-laden narratives or metaphors, like wanting visible disability for attention (“I’ve wanted to be severely / visibly disabled since I was a kid. Yk the types of things you think abt when you don’t get enough attention”) and relating deeply to fictional characters and arcs (“The way sanemi is integral to my yume au bc i think he deserves to know he is capable and worthy of love but isn’t the main love interest bc i see too much of myself in him to give him that”). Their decision-making is Feeling (F) focused: they frame issues around hurt, validation, and worth, such as being crushed by comments about scars and teaching (“Was talking to my brother abt my thoughts of being a teacher and he goes ‘would they even allow you… with your history and your scars.’ Like okay yeah thanks for pointing out my biggest insecurity”), and they react emotionally to perceived disrespect (“Fucking employee laughed off my concerns towards his drink machine. It took practically every fiber of my being to not slit my wrists in front of him”). They skew Perceiving (P) more than Judging: they struggle with consistent structure and instead bounce between impulses and shifting plans, like debating coping skills vs destructive habits on the fly (“Now the question is do I want to use my coping skills or give into destructive habits? Decisions decisions ….”) and repeatedly changing food and fasting decisions based on momentary cravings or ads (“Vanilla shake… only 5$… but 500 calories…”). Overall, the intense internal emotional landscape, idealization of fiction and symbolism, focus on personal values and hurt, and somewhat chaotic, reactive lifestyle fit INFP more than any other type.
Some pickup lines for you
- If becoming a minimum‑wage worker was the peak of Ninjago comedy, I’m afraid of what happens when we get promoted to ‘coworkers who flirt over pizza and root beer zero’—wanna help me test that arc?
- You said you’d kill to have your brother’s peanut allergy for an easy attempt… counter‑offer: I become your emotional EpiPen and you just keep sticking around to trauma‑dump about customers who laugh off your drink‑machine concerns with me instead.
- You’re out here hitting 20k+ steps, fasting, and still calling yourself ‘very fat’—from where I’m standing, the only thing oversized is your self‑hatred and my crush on you. I’d rather we work on shrinking the first one together.
- You joked about wanting to be ‘severely / visibly disabled’ for attention as a kid; plot twist, you grew up visibly hot and severely interesting instead. I volunteer as tribute to give you the unhealthy amount of attention you deserved back then.
- You’re a Lloyd Garmadon kinnie with a razor pendant who spends Super Bowl week dodging pizza and drawing unhinged OC porn—statistically speaking, I’m pretty sure that makes you my oddly specific type. Can I dm you like one of your strawpage anons, but with actual rizz?
Your 5 Emojis
Your new Twitter bio
20 | he/pup. Pizza-slinger with too many steps on his Fitbit and too many opinions on Ninjago. Once burned his hand making tea before class.– @ultimate_kinnie
Your signature cocktail
The Dragon-Shed Milkshake
This cocktail starts with a vanilla vodka milkshake base for their obsessive craving and bargaining over that damn shake, echoing their battle with restriction in “Vanilla shake… only 5$… but 500 calories…” and “How about this. If I get to 20k steps before work I can break my fast w the milkshake”. A shot of espresso captures their intense, wired, all-or-nothing energy from “Now the question is do I want to use my coping skills or give into destructive habits? Decisions decisions ….” and the way they keep pushing through pain in “My arm fucking clocked out halfway through my shift it hurt so bad to move normally but I had to power through”. Pistachio syrup nods to “I gave in and had the pistachios that have been starring at me for a week and as predicted I’m now eating so much.”, adding a nutty, slightly offbeat sweetness that fits their weirdly charming, self-deprecating humor. A sea salt caramel drizzle brings in the mix of soft warmth and raw bitterness from “everyone being so nice to me lately the universe is being nice surely this isn’t a sign of things to go horribly wrong soon” and “I want to gut myself I feel disgusting”, sweet but stung with salt. Finally, a splash of zero-sugar root beer references “Yeah this isn’t happening. So I got a root beer zero.”, giving it a slightly strange, experimental edge that matches a dragon-obsessed, shedtwt, Ninjago-yapping, self-aware chaos gremlin who jokes about being "too normaltwt for shedtwt" in “Too normaltwt for shedtwt”.
Your Hogwarts House
Slytherin
Their defining traits are intensity, self-preservation through control, and a sharp, often ruthless way of thinking that aligns most with Slytherin. They show a relentless, numbers-driven drive for control over their body and habits, e.g. using step counts and strict fasting as personal challenges: “How about this. If I get to 20k steps before work I can break my fast w the milkshake” and later pushing for even more: “Yeah this isn’t happening. So I got a root beer zero. Gonna keep walking until I have to get ready for work tho. Maybe if I breach 25 after work I can treat myself.”. There’s a strong streak of calculated, dark resourcefulness in how they think about self-harm and suicide, such as “I would kill to have my brother’s severe peanut allergy rn. Do you realize how easy a suicide attempt would be? I could just lick a peanut and I’d go into anaphylactic shock”, and planning around tools even when others intervene: “Idk why she keeps taking away my sharps as if my addiction can’t justify spending any amount of money to keep going”. They’re also bluntly judgmental and unafraid to call people out when something violates their values or standards, like correcting coworkers about fetishizing furries in “STOP DUMBING DOWN FURRIES TO A SEX THING. I DONT CARE THAT YOURE “a scaley” OR “part furry” BC YOU WANT TO FUCK GODZILLA. SHUT UP” and reassessing a friend’s age-gap relationship once it feels wrong: “Met the kid today and I felt like I was talking to a literal child. I’m not gonna justify him anymore”. While they have warmth and a desire to host and care for others, shown in “I have such a love for hosting too bad I don’t have my own place”, the overarching pattern is of someone highly self-aware, driven, and willing to think in very dark, strategic ways about themselves and their environment—hallmarks of Slytherin rather than the more idealistic Gryffindor, communal Hufflepuff, or purely cerebral Ravenclaw.
Your movie
Your song
Bury A Friend - Billie Eilish
Billie Eilish’s Bury A Friend fits them because it lives in that space between morbid humor, self‑destruction, and numbness that shows up all over their timeline. Their fixation on self-harm and suicidality mirrors the song’s intrusive, body-horror imagery, like when they say they “wanna spend the whole night cutting myself but alas I cannot </3” and describe planning an “attempt” that got derailed by friends “these damn magic nerds burnt out my energy”. The way they talk about death in a disturbingly casual or logistical way — for example, “I would kill to have my brother’s severe peanut allergy rn… I could just lick a peanut and I’d go into anaphylactic shock” and “I want to bleed out so bad rn but I feel bad for any witnesses and the people who would have to clean it up” — fits the song’s clinical, detached tone about pain and fear. The line between self-loathing and dark confidence is also there, like calling themselves fat while obsessing over restriction and fasting “Maybe the week of super bowl wasn’t the best time to start heavy restriction again considering I work at a pizza place” yet joking about having “too much sex appeal” “It appears I have too much sex appeal”. Finally, their fascination with being visibly damaged or disabled — “I’ve wanted to be severely / visibly disabled since I was a kid” and their frustration that scars might bar them from dreams “I’ve ruined my body. No agency would ever want me” — fits the song’s obsession with what the body can endure and how monstrosity and vulnerability blur together.
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